I miss the Big Blue
Sometimes I still get a bit depressed that I don’t work at Blizzard anymore. If I could find a position that I qualify for and that paid enough for me to get by with my current expenses, I would totally try to go back.
I am grateful to have a job. I like my coworkers and managers, and typically my customers are alright. I am essentially an internal help desk person, so I end up talking to many of the same people again and again. I have had several of them tell me what a pleasure I am to work with and jokingly (or seriously, I am not sure) tell me that they save up their weird random issues for the times they happen to get me on the phone because I always try so hard to find them a solution. I also have holidays off, and am able to take a flex schedule (four 10 hour days a week, and right now I *happen* to have Fridays off).
As great as all that is, I miss being as nerdy as I wanna be. I have my goofy toys and some of the other crazy junk I had at my cubicle at Blizzard, but I kinda feel like I am the only one. While I have a knack for fitting in most places I go, I don't feel like I am truly a *fit* at this company. I feel like I am too loose and free and weird. I have managed to find a few nerds to do nerd stuff with, like play Munchkin at lunch time at least once a week, but it kinda isn't the same. I use acronyms and odd internet lingo (like “borked” to refer to something being broken) and I get the chat equivalent of a blank look. When I explain, they think it’s kinda funny, but they never really pick it up. How do they not even know about interwebz speak? I work at a software company! They have interwebz! They know about cat videos….. come on people!
When you come from a company who has a set of core values as awesome as Blizzard’s, it’s just hard to subscribe to a mundane core value after that. I was able to “Embrace my inner geek” there every day and people understood and reflected their own brand of geekery back at me. We were like a family, a gigantic conclave of kindred spirits. Here, we are all somewhat in our own worlds. There is a lot less social interaction with my workmates than I was used to, though some of them have come to karaoke or had little get-togethers to which I was invited.
I guess I don't feel very happy here. I am not unhappy, but I don't feel like I can go anywhere in this company. I am not a developer or programmer, and I don't really have any inclination to be one. I just have no idea what else I would do, other than customer support, and I am pretty sure I don't want to do that forever, no matter how good at it I may be. It is at least gratifying to hear my manager say she wishes she had a hundred of me. ;) I can't complain about management being unsupportive. Everyone here works very hard, and I just don't see the efforts rewarded. Managers are included in that observation.
I know the grass always seems greener on the other side, and more often than not we conveniently forget the crappy things about the past and remember things through rose coloured lenses. I try to temper my memory with logic and reason. But I know I remember thinking often how cool it was that I worked for one of the best game companies in the world, and even though there were days that sucked and I didn't wanna go to work, I didn't wake up almost EVERY DAY having to convince myself I need to get out of bed and go to work.
I am grateful to have a job. I like my coworkers and managers, and typically my customers are alright. I am essentially an internal help desk person, so I end up talking to many of the same people again and again. I have had several of them tell me what a pleasure I am to work with and jokingly (or seriously, I am not sure) tell me that they save up their weird random issues for the times they happen to get me on the phone because I always try so hard to find them a solution. I also have holidays off, and am able to take a flex schedule (four 10 hour days a week, and right now I *happen* to have Fridays off).
As great as all that is, I miss being as nerdy as I wanna be. I have my goofy toys and some of the other crazy junk I had at my cubicle at Blizzard, but I kinda feel like I am the only one. While I have a knack for fitting in most places I go, I don't feel like I am truly a *fit* at this company. I feel like I am too loose and free and weird. I have managed to find a few nerds to do nerd stuff with, like play Munchkin at lunch time at least once a week, but it kinda isn't the same. I use acronyms and odd internet lingo (like “borked” to refer to something being broken) and I get the chat equivalent of a blank look. When I explain, they think it’s kinda funny, but they never really pick it up. How do they not even know about interwebz speak? I work at a software company! They have interwebz! They know about cat videos….. come on people!
When you come from a company who has a set of core values as awesome as Blizzard’s, it’s just hard to subscribe to a mundane core value after that. I was able to “Embrace my inner geek” there every day and people understood and reflected their own brand of geekery back at me. We were like a family, a gigantic conclave of kindred spirits. Here, we are all somewhat in our own worlds. There is a lot less social interaction with my workmates than I was used to, though some of them have come to karaoke or had little get-togethers to which I was invited.
I guess I don't feel very happy here. I am not unhappy, but I don't feel like I can go anywhere in this company. I am not a developer or programmer, and I don't really have any inclination to be one. I just have no idea what else I would do, other than customer support, and I am pretty sure I don't want to do that forever, no matter how good at it I may be. It is at least gratifying to hear my manager say she wishes she had a hundred of me. ;) I can't complain about management being unsupportive. Everyone here works very hard, and I just don't see the efforts rewarded. Managers are included in that observation.
I know the grass always seems greener on the other side, and more often than not we conveniently forget the crappy things about the past and remember things through rose coloured lenses. I try to temper my memory with logic and reason. But I know I remember thinking often how cool it was that I worked for one of the best game companies in the world, and even though there were days that sucked and I didn't wanna go to work, I didn't wake up almost EVERY DAY having to convince myself I need to get out of bed and go to work.