Obligatory Mother's Day Introspection....
I don't like Mother's Day. I have a list of reasons why:
1. My contentious relationship with my mother.
2. My grandmother (who raised me) died on April 28, just a week and a half before Mother's Day.
3. I had Tia very close to Mother's Day and it had been such an overwhelming, tiring pregnancy full of complications and nay-sayers. I was alone and scared and very sad...this was the second Mother's Day after my grandmother's death the preceding April.
4. I have serious concerns about my mothering abilities. I really do feel that Tia got the short end of the stick in our arrangement. There are so many things I wish I could do for her and so many things I wish I had done differently. (The decision to have her and keep her is the only decision I have never at any moment questioned.)
5. (This is the latest addition to the list) It was Mother's Day last year when I decided to give Coke Daddy a chance. And, eventually (read: tomorrow), I'll explain how he's completely fucked that up.
That said, I've had a very wonderful Mother's Day. Tia woke me up early to give me a poem with her handprint on it (where we realized her hand is bigger than my own...lol). Those are the kinds of gifts I love...I can be sentimental like that. My friend Amanda sent me a text message wishing me a Happy Mother's Day and, later, called to tell me what an inspiration I've been to her and that she hopes she can be as good of a mother as I am. My friend Rick called to tell me (in a way only a true Republican can) Happy Mother's Day. Only it was worded "Thank you for exercising the right to choose life as opposed to that other option you Liberals harp about. Your choice is one I respect greatly."
And, finally, I got the following IMs from a friend of mine from SMU (We'll call him Nupe2...and no, we won't detail exactly how many Nupes there are..lol). He's someone I always know will tell me the truth whether it's what I want to hear or not. So, to hear these things from him meant a lot. Not to mention it was totally a surprise.
Nupe2: Happy Mother's Day Lori.
Nupe2: You are doing a pretty good damn job holding it down from what I can tell.
Nupe2: I'm proud of you and admire you for that.
Nupe2: And you are teaching her about her heritage, which is better than alot of mothers I know.
Nupe2: I appreciate you for that.
Nupe2: I'm head to my mother's now.
Nupe2: Have a good day kiddo.
So, thus far, it's been a good day.
Now, if only we can get Coke Daddy to disappear...
1. My contentious relationship with my mother.
2. My grandmother (who raised me) died on April 28, just a week and a half before Mother's Day.
3. I had Tia very close to Mother's Day and it had been such an overwhelming, tiring pregnancy full of complications and nay-sayers. I was alone and scared and very sad...this was the second Mother's Day after my grandmother's death the preceding April.
4. I have serious concerns about my mothering abilities. I really do feel that Tia got the short end of the stick in our arrangement. There are so many things I wish I could do for her and so many things I wish I had done differently. (The decision to have her and keep her is the only decision I have never at any moment questioned.)
5. (This is the latest addition to the list) It was Mother's Day last year when I decided to give Coke Daddy a chance. And, eventually (read: tomorrow), I'll explain how he's completely fucked that up.
That said, I've had a very wonderful Mother's Day. Tia woke me up early to give me a poem with her handprint on it (where we realized her hand is bigger than my own...lol). Those are the kinds of gifts I love...I can be sentimental like that. My friend Amanda sent me a text message wishing me a Happy Mother's Day and, later, called to tell me what an inspiration I've been to her and that she hopes she can be as good of a mother as I am. My friend Rick called to tell me (in a way only a true Republican can) Happy Mother's Day. Only it was worded "Thank you for exercising the right to choose life as opposed to that other option you Liberals harp about. Your choice is one I respect greatly."
And, finally, I got the following IMs from a friend of mine from SMU (We'll call him Nupe2...and no, we won't detail exactly how many Nupes there are..lol). He's someone I always know will tell me the truth whether it's what I want to hear or not. So, to hear these things from him meant a lot. Not to mention it was totally a surprise.
Nupe2: Happy Mother's Day Lori.
Nupe2: You are doing a pretty good damn job holding it down from what I can tell.
Nupe2: I'm proud of you and admire you for that.
Nupe2: And you are teaching her about her heritage, which is better than alot of mothers I know.
Nupe2: I appreciate you for that.
Nupe2: I'm head to my mother's now.
Nupe2: Have a good day kiddo.
So, thus far, it's been a good day.
Now, if only we can get Coke Daddy to disappear...