Just too much for a day of work.
On duty at the A and E last night and had a total melt down.
To some, it seem as if medical personnels are not doing much to help, The doctor just comes out to tell the family that they are trying their best and all and after awhile they break the news. Well in the A and E it is really fast pace. people come in and out, finding place for this poor dude who is taking up space here because the wards are all full, the drunk and homeless who comes in just for a bed. It is a job that requires people to have little or no compassion. The number of people coming in and out, dead or alive. We cant work if we are to run on empathy the whole day.
Dealing with 2 patients back to back was just too much for me. Medical personnels as much as we dont wish to care, even if we don;t know the patient, are humans too and death do affect us in certain way. It was just a huge emotional backlash for me. Always thought that it won't affect me but yesterday just prove me wrong. Even if it wasn't my call, I question my skills, what if i have done this. Why did I have trouble inserting the plug in, I should have done this, I should have done that. It is easy to say no use crying over spilled milk, but we are dealing with lives here.
And I took it out on the wrong people. Should not have even take it out on anyone for that matter but what is done is done. Only hope for the better.
Well it may sound heartless but maybe like other people, I should grow numb and take the body on the table as it is.
To some, it seem as if medical personnels are not doing much to help, The doctor just comes out to tell the family that they are trying their best and all and after awhile they break the news. Well in the A and E it is really fast pace. people come in and out, finding place for this poor dude who is taking up space here because the wards are all full, the drunk and homeless who comes in just for a bed. It is a job that requires people to have little or no compassion. The number of people coming in and out, dead or alive. We cant work if we are to run on empathy the whole day.
Dealing with 2 patients back to back was just too much for me. Medical personnels as much as we dont wish to care, even if we don;t know the patient, are humans too and death do affect us in certain way. It was just a huge emotional backlash for me. Always thought that it won't affect me but yesterday just prove me wrong. Even if it wasn't my call, I question my skills, what if i have done this. Why did I have trouble inserting the plug in, I should have done this, I should have done that. It is easy to say no use crying over spilled milk, but we are dealing with lives here.
And I took it out on the wrong people. Should not have even take it out on anyone for that matter but what is done is done. Only hope for the better.
Well it may sound heartless but maybe like other people, I should grow numb and take the body on the table as it is.