(no subject)
i did everything for fatima, i loved her so much, she was my best friend, but where are you friends when you really need them, i hurt so much inside, but the two of my best friends, kiea and fatima, never call me to see how i am doing, we don't hang out, we barely speak, where are my friends, i'll tell you were, having a good time at the peacock, hanging out with friends, moving on, doing what they have always done, i've been dropped by my best friends, fatima says on her livejournal that we broke up, that not true, she broke up with me, she called me out of the blue and said, i want to break up with you, no emotion, no sympathy, just apathy, never has she asked me how im dealing with it, i feal like killing myself just for an once so sympathy, i wish she would hurt, i wish she could feel what im going through, its not fair that i treated her so good and she just breaks up with me out of the blue, everyone that knows us knows that i loved her, i still love her, thats whats so hard, i can't just turn off my love, but fatima doesn't care, she just says that i should stop fealing, and she goes out and hangs out with everyone, goes to the peacock and dances on guys, gets drunk at parties and is all over her ex boyfriend and letting some ugly ass fuck rub her forhead as her shirt falls exposing her chest, i've been through hell, but the worst part is that i've been through it alone, i loan her mom 800 dollars and she isn't even there to see me and when i call she doesnt' even answer the phone, and when i call kiea to talk to her she doesn't answer the phone, i just can't believe what they have done to me, i can't believe how anyone can still be friends with her after knowing what she's done to me, they say that the worst thing you can do to someone is not to hate but to be indifferent, fatima is indifferent about out break up and our friendship, she isn't even trying to salvage a friendship, again im stuck doing all the work, and when she reads this she may never want to speak to me again, but how can i get over this with out telling her how i feal, she says i should move on and get another girlfriend, i dont want another girlfriend, i've been tainted now, i've been fuck over, no matter how much you trust and love someone they will stab you in the back, thats what i've learned, i know i'll never be able to give anyone what i've given fatima, im emotionally exhausted, im beaten, she beat me, but noone cares, noone cares how i feal, noone cares that i cry at night, noone cares that her pictures are still above my bed, she obviously doesn't care, she has completely moved on, everyone will be calling now, she will firt with guys and lead them on until she gets another boyfriend bc she can hardly be alone, how am i suppose to see her with another, it hurts so much that less than a month after she ripped my heart out that she was in a club rubbing her ass on guy, 5 days after she killed my soul she was hanging on other guys, what the fuck am i suppose to do, i wish i was dead, i wish i was dead and fatima would finally cry over me, bc im the best thing she has ever had