(no subject)
I remember what I wanted to talk about last night.
Love woes.
I didn't go into the whole England thing thinking I'd meet someone I actually wanted to date, honestly. I didn't even want to be with anybody; I wanted to have a good time, date around, be crazy. When I met Hamish, I thought he was super-cute, but I was interested in other people so I sort of forgot about it. That is, until I saw him for the first time after about a month and we went dancing together. Then he kissed me and it was done; I was smitten as shit and there was no turning back. We went undefined for a while and just hung out which was great, but then he wanted to have a state of the union conversation. I loathe them with every fiber of my being. I told him that we should just go with the flow and take it easy, no labels, and see what happened from there. Cut to our last night together, wherein he introduces me to his friends as his girlfriend, much to my surprise. I wasn't disappointed because hey, he's hot and he's mine, but a little warning would have been nice. Anyway, that night was magical (forrealsies) and I never wanted it to end, so I got on the plane still on cloud 9 (and in his hoodie), planning on spending my break laying low.
Enter Pete.
I didn't realise just how much I missed him until I left the States. And when I came back, for some reason he was one of the first people I wanted to tell. I jokingly told him that he should come down to Baltimore to visit me and he said "yeah, I think I will," completely seriously.
Umm, what?
We did break up when I moved. At least I think we did. I mean, we both saw other people for the entire semester (several actually, in both our cases), but somewhere in my head, I always just assumed that we'd get back together when I came home. I lost that assumption in the months I was gone but they all came rushing back when I talked to him and now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as far as what's going to happen.
Here's what I know:
- I have something pretty awesome going for me back home...er..in Sheffield.
- What I left was pretty awesome, as well.
- I still hold a candle for Pete. Honestly.
- If Hamish were to come back and tell me that he had a thing with an ex while at home for break, I'd be really hurt.
- I have little to no self control.
Ugh.
Love woes.
I didn't go into the whole England thing thinking I'd meet someone I actually wanted to date, honestly. I didn't even want to be with anybody; I wanted to have a good time, date around, be crazy. When I met Hamish, I thought he was super-cute, but I was interested in other people so I sort of forgot about it. That is, until I saw him for the first time after about a month and we went dancing together. Then he kissed me and it was done; I was smitten as shit and there was no turning back. We went undefined for a while and just hung out which was great, but then he wanted to have a state of the union conversation. I loathe them with every fiber of my being. I told him that we should just go with the flow and take it easy, no labels, and see what happened from there. Cut to our last night together, wherein he introduces me to his friends as his girlfriend, much to my surprise. I wasn't disappointed because hey, he's hot and he's mine, but a little warning would have been nice. Anyway, that night was magical (forrealsies) and I never wanted it to end, so I got on the plane still on cloud 9 (and in his hoodie), planning on spending my break laying low.
Enter Pete.
I didn't realise just how much I missed him until I left the States. And when I came back, for some reason he was one of the first people I wanted to tell. I jokingly told him that he should come down to Baltimore to visit me and he said "yeah, I think I will," completely seriously.
Umm, what?
We did break up when I moved. At least I think we did. I mean, we both saw other people for the entire semester (several actually, in both our cases), but somewhere in my head, I always just assumed that we'd get back together when I came home. I lost that assumption in the months I was gone but they all came rushing back when I talked to him and now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as far as what's going to happen.
Here's what I know:
- I have something pretty awesome going for me back home...er..in Sheffield.
- What I left was pretty awesome, as well.
- I still hold a candle for Pete. Honestly.
- If Hamish were to come back and tell me that he had a thing with an ex while at home for break, I'd be really hurt.
- I have little to no self control.
Ugh.