(no subject)
right. I don't really know how to put this quite right. Every one is going home and they can't wait to get there. When I talk to them back in their countries all they're thinking about is Thailand. With good reason too. I mean, we've been living here for a year, and it was a totally awesome experience. Who wouldn't think about it.
I was sitting around at the river today waiting for Dakota to call me up. He never did. I don't know why. Maybe his mom was being mean again and wouldn't let him call. Maybe he fell into a sewer and is calling for ANYones help. Who in the hell knows. I've been thinking about saying good-bye to all of my friends. It's not fair really. I've met all these wonderful people and now I have to pack my things and say "adios amigos"
What I'm really going to miss is my home. I've been missing home back in Canada all year in case you haven't guessed. Yes I am a mamas girl and yes I have missed her tones. Maybe it's just knowing that I'm going to see her again which has put me at ease. I take a look around me and think "well.. I feel like I'm already home" I know this place like the back of my hand now. I don't mind not being able to travel again. I don't mind being the "lesser sex" (well, ok I still mind a little bit. I am Canadian after all) but I feel like this is my home now. Going home is going to be so strange. I'll come back to Thailand some day but it's never going to be the same. I dunno. My heart breaks a little bit inside when I think about leaving now. At first I was so excited to see my mom but now. I dunno. It's going to be GREAT seeing her again but I'll have to jump into my old skin again. I like the skin I'm in. It took me a long time to get that. I don't really wanna go out and get wasted anymore (not like I did that all the time in Canada) and I don't wanna sit around kids who are depressed and angry with the world even though they can make it better for themselves. I dunno. I'm going home a different person and I just... I just hope people accept me for that. I know when Lance came home he really hated it. He still does sometimes. People didn't like him for who he became. Am I going to be like that? Who knows. Am I going to like the people I see when I get home? Who knows!!!
I dunno. This is one hell of a year and I'm going to leave it all behind me in 15 days. (or something like that) I remember counting down until I left for Thailand and it went by in a breeze. I'm really trying to savor those last few moments here in Thailand. Just to look around an enjoy what I see.
Life is strange.
Len
I was sitting around at the river today waiting for Dakota to call me up. He never did. I don't know why. Maybe his mom was being mean again and wouldn't let him call. Maybe he fell into a sewer and is calling for ANYones help. Who in the hell knows. I've been thinking about saying good-bye to all of my friends. It's not fair really. I've met all these wonderful people and now I have to pack my things and say "adios amigos"
What I'm really going to miss is my home. I've been missing home back in Canada all year in case you haven't guessed. Yes I am a mamas girl and yes I have missed her tones. Maybe it's just knowing that I'm going to see her again which has put me at ease. I take a look around me and think "well.. I feel like I'm already home" I know this place like the back of my hand now. I don't mind not being able to travel again. I don't mind being the "lesser sex" (well, ok I still mind a little bit. I am Canadian after all) but I feel like this is my home now. Going home is going to be so strange. I'll come back to Thailand some day but it's never going to be the same. I dunno. My heart breaks a little bit inside when I think about leaving now. At first I was so excited to see my mom but now. I dunno. It's going to be GREAT seeing her again but I'll have to jump into my old skin again. I like the skin I'm in. It took me a long time to get that. I don't really wanna go out and get wasted anymore (not like I did that all the time in Canada) and I don't wanna sit around kids who are depressed and angry with the world even though they can make it better for themselves. I dunno. I'm going home a different person and I just... I just hope people accept me for that. I know when Lance came home he really hated it. He still does sometimes. People didn't like him for who he became. Am I going to be like that? Who knows. Am I going to like the people I see when I get home? Who knows!!!
I dunno. This is one hell of a year and I'm going to leave it all behind me in 15 days. (or something like that) I remember counting down until I left for Thailand and it went by in a breeze. I'm really trying to savor those last few moments here in Thailand. Just to look around an enjoy what I see.
Life is strange.
Len