Oh! That my young life were a lasting dream.
"I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love--
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
[...]
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we--
Of many far wiser than we--
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee."
-Poe
Who, but God and Edgar Allen Poe, do I turn to now?
Last Tuesday, Renee's urologist found blood in Renee's urine. After testing negative for any infections and ruling out other possibilities, she was informed that she likely had either a small kidney stone or some type of cancer. The doctor used the worried doctor tone of voice when speaking to Renee, and she managed to scare both of us pretty bad. Last Tuesday night Renee woke me up in the middle of the night crying because she was scared of what would happen to William if she had cancer and died. It is only the second time I have seen her cry. It has broken my heart both times.
Today, they took a CAT-scan of Renee's lower abdomen so they can figure out what the problem is. (First time we've spent 4,000 bucks in 15 minutes.) We have to wait for two days to find out the results while her doctor and the radiologist confer. After the scan, I asked the technician if he saw any masses. He didn't answer for several seconds and instead gave me the pursed lips look of "I'm not allowed to say anything." Finally, because I did not stop staring at him expectantly, he replied, "There was nothing glaring, but if I told you I saw a mass and the radiologist decided it was really nothing, that would be two days of undue stress on you." His response makes me think he saw a small mass.
Dear Lord, hear my prayer. I know you're big on the whole "giveth and taketh away" thing, but I'm begging you, with all of my soul, please don't take Renee away from me. I would survive for William's sake, but survive is all I would do. I would be a broken man. Everything that makes me who I am would leak out of my torn soul, and I would become an automaton. All my passion, all my love for anyone but William would wither. The sun would offer me no warmth; laughter would offer me no joy. If you take her, you scatter all that I am to the winds and doom William to a childhood filled with pain. Please, for the sake of the joy and beauty you created when you gave Renee and I to each other, spare her and let us live together a while longer.
In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love--
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
[...]
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we--
Of many far wiser than we--
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee."
-Poe
Who, but God and Edgar Allen Poe, do I turn to now?
Last Tuesday, Renee's urologist found blood in Renee's urine. After testing negative for any infections and ruling out other possibilities, she was informed that she likely had either a small kidney stone or some type of cancer. The doctor used the worried doctor tone of voice when speaking to Renee, and she managed to scare both of us pretty bad. Last Tuesday night Renee woke me up in the middle of the night crying because she was scared of what would happen to William if she had cancer and died. It is only the second time I have seen her cry. It has broken my heart both times.
Today, they took a CAT-scan of Renee's lower abdomen so they can figure out what the problem is. (First time we've spent 4,000 bucks in 15 minutes.) We have to wait for two days to find out the results while her doctor and the radiologist confer. After the scan, I asked the technician if he saw any masses. He didn't answer for several seconds and instead gave me the pursed lips look of "I'm not allowed to say anything." Finally, because I did not stop staring at him expectantly, he replied, "There was nothing glaring, but if I told you I saw a mass and the radiologist decided it was really nothing, that would be two days of undue stress on you." His response makes me think he saw a small mass.
Dear Lord, hear my prayer. I know you're big on the whole "giveth and taketh away" thing, but I'm begging you, with all of my soul, please don't take Renee away from me. I would survive for William's sake, but survive is all I would do. I would be a broken man. Everything that makes me who I am would leak out of my torn soul, and I would become an automaton. All my passion, all my love for anyone but William would wither. The sun would offer me no warmth; laughter would offer me no joy. If you take her, you scatter all that I am to the winds and doom William to a childhood filled with pain. Please, for the sake of the joy and beauty you created when you gave Renee and I to each other, spare her and let us live together a while longer.