you cried on my shoulder begging please

[lendahand]

Oh something I forgot to mention in here earlier is the other day when Lucus and I were at the mall I saw Martin for the first time in probably at least a year or so. For those of you that don't know Martin is the guy I lost my virginity to when I was 16 and he was 19. He was my biggest mistake and at times I regret it but most of the time I really dont. Everything happens for a reason. Anyway I was him with his most current girlfriend. She is all of 17. He is 23 and will be 24 in August. That's just a little wrong in my opinion and screams pedophile. Who knows though maybe he actually found someone he loves because god knows he needs to because I don't think he's loved any of the girls he's dated which is really sad. He completely shattered my heart into about a thousand and one little pieces but I honestly think I ended up the better person because of it. I'm actually kind of happy I experienced that because in a lot of ways it made me grow up and learn always follow my instincts because I knew from the very beginning I shouldn't have dated him. Of course there's a lot more to this story and the effect than what I'm putting but a few of you know details so I'm sure you'll find it strange I'm not hating him and for the rest of you if you want more details just ask. You know I'll more than likely supply them.
My friend Richard a few weeks ago told me I was far to open with everything and I fear he's right but I don't like with holding stuff. It's not part of who I am.