Well, I know you find it hard to smile to keep your happiness in style
I guess I should update today after the entry I wrote last night. I guess you could say that hell froze over. We actually got snow today. It started about 3:30 this morning. I should know because I was still up. I think I went to sleep around 4 I can't really remember. I got woke up about 5:30 from Lynne bringing in the monitor for pawpaw. I couldn't go back to sleep after that. My aunts left about 6:15 so they could get to the airport and catch their flight. Pawpaw woke up about 7 so I got him his breakfast and everything, and gave him his morning meds. Susan got back about 8:45. I came downstairs and read some. I tried to sleep but cramps were killing me. I ended up finally going to sleep around 11 and got woke up about 2:30 when Lynne called to tell me that they made it and landed safely and everything. They were in the process of getting a rental car.
I never heard back from Lynne but I heard from my Uncle Mike once he got home that my uncle Larry was doing slightly better. By slightly better I mean that he is still completely non-responsive to anyone in a chemical induced coma, his intestines still aren't awake, and his lungs still aren't functioning but now at least his blood pressure is stabilized and his heart rate isn't going crazy like it was the day before. The day before all that was still going on only his blood pressure kept bottoming out and his heart rate was going to high. Lynne told Mike that she wouldn't have even recognized Larry is the nurses had not told her that it was him.
Also I guess I should update about the guy too. I'm not going to say his name on here even though I'm sure about half of you know who it is. Apparently during the night he took a disposable razor to his arm between his wrist and about halfway to his elbow and sliced it up. He has absolutely no memory of it at all. He has about 11 or 12 cuts on his arm. One of them he thinks was caused by his knife because it's deeper and longer than the other ones. I saw it on the web cam and it looks really bad. He didn't want to tell me for fear I'd be pissed off and think it was a suicide attempt or something, and we know my views on the suicide thing. I'm not pissed off at all more terrified. I'm so scared and last night I was so scared he was going to do something and it seems my suspicions were verified. He got sent to a psychiatrist today once they saw his arm. They told him they didn't really know what was up. Although they could definetely tell the depression thing so they put him on anti-depressants. They have no clue about the black outs and other things though. They are however ruling out schizophrenia for the time being because he doesn't hear voices or anything. I'm still really worried about him but when I talked to him tonight he did seem to be doing better. The zoloft made him hyper.
I'm so scared though about him doing that and having no memory of it. If he really was to commit suicide as well I don't know if I could handle it. I've had to many males that are important to me do that. I don't think I could handle it if another one killed themselves. I also feel somewhat responsible. I'm wondering if I somehow triggered this or made it worse. I really don't know if I'm healthy for him and it makes me feel so guilty. After I got off the phone with him I talked to Holly and Derek a little bit about whats going on. Since I got off the phone though I've been crying off and on. It's really not a very fun thing at all. I really wish I was someone else at this given moment. It would be a nice escape.
I never heard back from Lynne but I heard from my Uncle Mike once he got home that my uncle Larry was doing slightly better. By slightly better I mean that he is still completely non-responsive to anyone in a chemical induced coma, his intestines still aren't awake, and his lungs still aren't functioning but now at least his blood pressure is stabilized and his heart rate isn't going crazy like it was the day before. The day before all that was still going on only his blood pressure kept bottoming out and his heart rate was going to high. Lynne told Mike that she wouldn't have even recognized Larry is the nurses had not told her that it was him.
Also I guess I should update about the guy too. I'm not going to say his name on here even though I'm sure about half of you know who it is. Apparently during the night he took a disposable razor to his arm between his wrist and about halfway to his elbow and sliced it up. He has absolutely no memory of it at all. He has about 11 or 12 cuts on his arm. One of them he thinks was caused by his knife because it's deeper and longer than the other ones. I saw it on the web cam and it looks really bad. He didn't want to tell me for fear I'd be pissed off and think it was a suicide attempt or something, and we know my views on the suicide thing. I'm not pissed off at all more terrified. I'm so scared and last night I was so scared he was going to do something and it seems my suspicions were verified. He got sent to a psychiatrist today once they saw his arm. They told him they didn't really know what was up. Although they could definetely tell the depression thing so they put him on anti-depressants. They have no clue about the black outs and other things though. They are however ruling out schizophrenia for the time being because he doesn't hear voices or anything. I'm still really worried about him but when I talked to him tonight he did seem to be doing better. The zoloft made him hyper.
I'm so scared though about him doing that and having no memory of it. If he really was to commit suicide as well I don't know if I could handle it. I've had to many males that are important to me do that. I don't think I could handle it if another one killed themselves. I also feel somewhat responsible. I'm wondering if I somehow triggered this or made it worse. I really don't know if I'm healthy for him and it makes me feel so guilty. After I got off the phone with him I talked to Holly and Derek a little bit about whats going on. Since I got off the phone though I've been crying off and on. It's really not a very fun thing at all. I really wish I was someone else at this given moment. It would be a nice escape.