My dilema
So there is this boy, I have been in a relationship with him for a year. Previously we had known each other and dated. We are virtually a perfect match. However about a two months ago we had issues arguing, I would always want him to see my side of the argument before it could be all over, we are both super argumenatative. Anywho, he kept almost breaking up with me because of this fact so finally we both decided that I would just fess up and say ok, Im sorry whenever we have and fight. (Because naturally everything is my fault, Im the moody bitchy self centered one who rarely ever thinks of someone other than herself)Anywho, so this method was working out for a while. I would just always okay sorry and the argument was done. Well lately I get so angry and so quickly is insane! I mean Its really not too bad, Im not slamming doors or cussing at him or even yelling. I just get up throw my pencil down and walk out of the room. But today, I explode, I had finally had it. I finally told him how I felt.
Basicly that I was always the person that was wrong and even if I was mad first at somthing that he did, I was wrong for being so upset about it!!!!!! I told him, that I didnt know how to tell him. It was all wrong. So now he is mega upset with me. He wants me to come up with a solution, AND he tells me that he cannot ever be fully truthful with me again because of how badly I react. Now tell me why is this suddenly my fault again for telling him how I feel. But telling him this makes him even more upset, and so he goes and leaves for the night.
See Im now sitting here wondering. What the heck am I doing??? I didnt want a relationship in the first place. I told him no several times and he kept coming after me until I finally said yes. And heck it has been good and a lot of fun times. But now Im always upset unless we are doing somthing fun. And to top it off Im leaving. For Spain in less than 3 monthes! Do I really need to care about this relationship? I mean I love him, I know this. But is it worth putting all this effort into a relationship? Especially right now. The only real thing that haunts me is that he says he will never talk to me again if I break up with him. (and I cant believe he had the nerve to say that). I think the relationship is going out of control.
When we arent fighting he is a total sweetheart always being there for me, giving me massages and kissing me on the check, telling me everything is going to be okay. He will even let me sit there and punch him. But all this aside I am soooo torn. Anyone have any ideas. Im seriously going crazy...
Basicly that I was always the person that was wrong and even if I was mad first at somthing that he did, I was wrong for being so upset about it!!!!!! I told him, that I didnt know how to tell him. It was all wrong. So now he is mega upset with me. He wants me to come up with a solution, AND he tells me that he cannot ever be fully truthful with me again because of how badly I react. Now tell me why is this suddenly my fault again for telling him how I feel. But telling him this makes him even more upset, and so he goes and leaves for the night.
See Im now sitting here wondering. What the heck am I doing??? I didnt want a relationship in the first place. I told him no several times and he kept coming after me until I finally said yes. And heck it has been good and a lot of fun times. But now Im always upset unless we are doing somthing fun. And to top it off Im leaving. For Spain in less than 3 monthes! Do I really need to care about this relationship? I mean I love him, I know this. But is it worth putting all this effort into a relationship? Especially right now. The only real thing that haunts me is that he says he will never talk to me again if I break up with him. (and I cant believe he had the nerve to say that). I think the relationship is going out of control.
When we arent fighting he is a total sweetheart always being there for me, giving me massages and kissing me on the check, telling me everything is going to be okay. He will even let me sit there and punch him. But all this aside I am soooo torn. Anyone have any ideas. Im seriously going crazy...