Well....
I havn't written a meaningful entry in the longest time. I havn't written in this thing for ages. For me fall is a happy time. Last fall was a stage in my life where I began to open up. Now it's happening all over again, exept I'm not completely insane and boy crazy. Well, ok. I'm insane and crazy about one boy, but that's way different. I'm enjoying the fact that there hasn't been any drama in my world for the longest time, ever. And I love it, because drama makes me want to puke.
I'm making new friends, and this is new for me because I'm usually sitting in the corner of a class not talking. Instead I've been attempting to socialize and skipping classes and doing fun shit, but I'm going to cut that out. After second period tomorrow :D Here I come, breakfast and stupendous amounts of coffee and diet coke with Aaron.
Another strange thing is that I'm really happy, but there's always something hanging over my head, and I don't know what it is. It's a bad feeling. It's kind of like I'm waiting for people to start talking shit about me, and start hating me. I wish that won't happen, but that's one of the reasons why I'm afraid of getting out there. I wish that people just don't do that. But it's inevitable. Why won't this fucking feeling go away? Well, I guess I still have a lot of things to worry about though. I have to watch out for my mom. It's her birthday on Tuesday, and I'm just worried about her. I'm also really stressed out with all of this fucking work that I have. It's been impossible to catch up after going to Australia for 2 weeks, and then being loaded with work during the week of West Side Story. I have strike tomorrow, and after that it's all over. It's a huge relief because crew just saps up your time like a sponge. I wish there was some way to perfect life, which for me would be being happy all the time. I wish I could let myself do that, but right now everything is clouded, and I can't seem to find the way out. Maybe that will come with time.
I'm making new friends, and this is new for me because I'm usually sitting in the corner of a class not talking. Instead I've been attempting to socialize and skipping classes and doing fun shit, but I'm going to cut that out. After second period tomorrow :D Here I come, breakfast and stupendous amounts of coffee and diet coke with Aaron.
Another strange thing is that I'm really happy, but there's always something hanging over my head, and I don't know what it is. It's a bad feeling. It's kind of like I'm waiting for people to start talking shit about me, and start hating me. I wish that won't happen, but that's one of the reasons why I'm afraid of getting out there. I wish that people just don't do that. But it's inevitable. Why won't this fucking feeling go away? Well, I guess I still have a lot of things to worry about though. I have to watch out for my mom. It's her birthday on Tuesday, and I'm just worried about her. I'm also really stressed out with all of this fucking work that I have. It's been impossible to catch up after going to Australia for 2 weeks, and then being loaded with work during the week of West Side Story. I have strike tomorrow, and after that it's all over. It's a huge relief because crew just saps up your time like a sponge. I wish there was some way to perfect life, which for me would be being happy all the time. I wish I could let myself do that, but right now everything is clouded, and I can't seem to find the way out. Maybe that will come with time.