WARNING: Arachnophobics, look away. Look away now!
Imagine, if you will, it's around 2am, you're lying in bed caught somewhere between sleep and wakefulness - that place where you're not really awake, but you're peripherally aware of some external stimuli... like the fact it feels like your hair is moving. That's strange, your sleepy brain thinks... and then dismisses, 'cause you're asleep, right? The moving hair persists a little longer. You decide to move your head to see if it will go away. It does. Right across your pillow and down onto your sheets.
You are more than a little alarmed.
You throw the covers off and switch the light on. You and The Spider stare each other down until you decide you aren't willing to share your bedspace with a total stranger (one with far too many limbs for your liking). You swat madly at The Spider until you're fairly sure it's GONE.
Somewhat less sleepy now, you turn out the light, yank the covers back up and try to pretend you and The Spider didn't just meet. You turn over, find a nice comfy position on you side and slowly close your eyes. The almost-conscious part of your brain wonders what that dark spot was...
You think it's time for a colourful metaphor. You decide on one and express it. Colourfully.
Lights on; covers off. Again. So this is Round 2 with The Spider. Or Round 1 with The Spider's BFF. You start with the swatting. Again. By the time you're convinced it's GONE (again) you're completely, totally, incontrovertibly awake. Again.
Guess who doesn't want to go to bed tonight.
On a totally unrelated note:
Leonard Nimoy is on Twitter? Almost makes me want to start using my never-used account.