Okay, too much going on in life for a meaningful post.
So what do I decide to post?
Pure literary WTFery, that's what!
Go, ye readers and writers ye, and look upon that which shall forever be stamped on my brain as
The Worst Description EVAR.
(and/ or a cautionary tale about simile and metaphor.)
As I saw in a reply there: CANNOT UNSEE!
I think the best way to describe this would be to say imagine a thesaurus was raped, and the union was fruitful, but oh, so unholy.
This would be that resultant tome.