(no subject)
did i mention that i started my period this month on justin timberlake's birthday which i am pretty sure is a sign from god if you know how to read signs and all. which i don't because when you turn onto oncoming traffic in the pouring rain it is actually one of the 12 big signs of illiteracy not to mention idiocy. other signs include slamming into curbs (me), swerving in two different lanes at once (me), and chit chatting on the phone about how awesome you are while simultaneously skidding off the road (me).
the only thing worse than mardi gras traffic is mardi gras boobies that are way past their prime. pull those things up and put them away, grandma.
today the oversized mongoloid that i reside with said "hurr hurrr hurr rayfield rae you're gonna get diabetes cuz you drink all dem cokes" and my mom got mad when I sucker punched him right in the fucking eyeball. gosh mom, you can't raise me to hate my own father and then expect me to show kindness to those who pretend to be him! have we not watched enough julia roberts movies to know this yet?
if one more loser quotes napolean dynamite again i'm going to tear open their spleen with my teeth and plant a digital device inside created by the chinese mafia which will send electric shock waves through their nervous system every time they say something remotely close about how they're voting for pedro sanchez or have been scoring with babes online all day. it is not funny when you repeat it fifty thousand times, guys. awkward was hip two years ago, get the fuck with the program!
furthermore, haylie duff is going to steal amber tamblyn's boyfriend on next week's episode of joan of arcadia. who needs drugs or boys when you've got god, am i right ladies?
the only thing worse than mardi gras traffic is mardi gras boobies that are way past their prime. pull those things up and put them away, grandma.
today the oversized mongoloid that i reside with said "hurr hurrr hurr rayfield rae you're gonna get diabetes cuz you drink all dem cokes" and my mom got mad when I sucker punched him right in the fucking eyeball. gosh mom, you can't raise me to hate my own father and then expect me to show kindness to those who pretend to be him! have we not watched enough julia roberts movies to know this yet?
if one more loser quotes napolean dynamite again i'm going to tear open their spleen with my teeth and plant a digital device inside created by the chinese mafia which will send electric shock waves through their nervous system every time they say something remotely close about how they're voting for pedro sanchez or have been scoring with babes online all day. it is not funny when you repeat it fifty thousand times, guys. awkward was hip two years ago, get the fuck with the program!
furthermore, haylie duff is going to steal amber tamblyn's boyfriend on next week's episode of joan of arcadia. who needs drugs or boys when you've got god, am i right ladies?