hn.
I've been a mopey, unpleasant and selfish piece of shit, and I need to get over my immature self and deal.
First off, ever since I've gotten back from the Philippines I've been kind of unhappy... because being over there with my family made me realize how we're all over the globe now. But that's just life. If I constantly mope about it, I'll just end up being less satisfied with my situation now.
Secondly, my money situation is pretty fucking tight. I'm not fighting to make ends meet, but I don't really have the money to go out and indulge in what I want. It's making me miserable, but why? I still have a roof over my head and a full-time job. Sure, it's not the job I want or the career I'm eventually heading toward, but I'm probably moving in a few months, so there's no point in sweating it.
Lastly, I keep angsting about dealing with James' family, loudly complaining about it. Which is ridiculous, because I always told myself I would be the one to stand beside him and support him when the rest of his family took him for granted. He's trying his best to make me happy despite the situation he's found himself in, and I get mad at him for not trying more? God, I'm ridiculous.
So. With March comes Spring (well, more or less for Colorado anyway haha), and with spring comes new beginnings. I'm going to try as hard as I can to drop all of these negative feelings, this inertia, and move on to being more positive and optimistic.
...
In other news, my place is a fucking mess and needs to be cleaned. James won't be back from his stupid, pointless & needlessly long class until 5:30-6. It is only 1pm right now. Time to turn up my stereo, belt out some tunes, do some major cleaning--inside and out.
First off, ever since I've gotten back from the Philippines I've been kind of unhappy... because being over there with my family made me realize how we're all over the globe now. But that's just life. If I constantly mope about it, I'll just end up being less satisfied with my situation now.
Secondly, my money situation is pretty fucking tight. I'm not fighting to make ends meet, but I don't really have the money to go out and indulge in what I want. It's making me miserable, but why? I still have a roof over my head and a full-time job. Sure, it's not the job I want or the career I'm eventually heading toward, but I'm probably moving in a few months, so there's no point in sweating it.
Lastly, I keep angsting about dealing with James' family, loudly complaining about it. Which is ridiculous, because I always told myself I would be the one to stand beside him and support him when the rest of his family took him for granted. He's trying his best to make me happy despite the situation he's found himself in, and I get mad at him for not trying more? God, I'm ridiculous.
So. With March comes Spring (well, more or less for Colorado anyway haha), and with spring comes new beginnings. I'm going to try as hard as I can to drop all of these negative feelings, this inertia, and move on to being more positive and optimistic.
...
In other news, my place is a fucking mess and needs to be cleaned. James won't be back from his stupid, pointless & needlessly long class until 5:30-6. It is only 1pm right now. Time to turn up my stereo, belt out some tunes, do some major cleaning--inside and out.