(no subject)
Ok so I thought I should update.
Camp was really great this year. We had a lot of fun and it was so much easier to just relax and have fun since I wasn't sick. Everything seemed so much easier this time around. I deffinatly felt much more like a counselor than a camper this year. I did hate some of the usual counselor social aspects but ehhh just got to remember why we are there- for the kids. And Lauren was of course an awesome friend.
Lately life has been full of all kinds of things I don't want to think about. Like Western suddenly realized they didn't have one of my transcripts and because it was from community college where life does not make sense, they can't get it for three weeks. And then there is all the doctors appointments I need to make and the fact that I can't register for classes until they get that stupid transcript in. and my mother has all these things I need to do and they keep changing and she keeps yelling at me for them even though either I can't do anything about them or I can't do anything about them at the time she decides to mention them. Thinking about these things makes me such an anxious mess that I become incapable of doing anything about them. They upset me so much the other day I had to go to the valium. I thought I was done with the valium but luckily I save my perscriptions! So I try not the think about it. Which also means things don't get done. Oh well.
And there is also the whole life change thing that will happen here in a couple of weeks. Case moving seems like something that might eventually happen but the reality of not seeing him for almost two months has not set in.
My moving seems like something that will happen in another dimension. I think about things I will do in my new apartment and save recipes I anticipate cooking. Something creepy is my apartment is sitting down there waiting for me completely ready and I am pretending like I'm not going there in a couple of weeks. I could move in now if I wanted. But I haven't even called the utilities people.
I also feel like I've been neglecting my friends. I haven't talked to Debra in forever which I suppose I do need to talk to her about alot of things. But that makes me face the moving reality which I would prefer to ignore right now. It's just nice to pretend that my days will continue very much like they are now. Doing very little except hanging out with case, or hanging out with my family, or occasionally working- it's so empty but it seems so nice. I'm not sure I'm ready to go back to being busy constantly.
But daily, life is great! I know I'm sort of bi polar about these things but I don't spend very much time on the nerve wrecking part and mostly on the hanging out with my great boyfriend part!
Camp was really great this year. We had a lot of fun and it was so much easier to just relax and have fun since I wasn't sick. Everything seemed so much easier this time around. I deffinatly felt much more like a counselor than a camper this year. I did hate some of the usual counselor social aspects but ehhh just got to remember why we are there- for the kids. And Lauren was of course an awesome friend.
Lately life has been full of all kinds of things I don't want to think about. Like Western suddenly realized they didn't have one of my transcripts and because it was from community college where life does not make sense, they can't get it for three weeks. And then there is all the doctors appointments I need to make and the fact that I can't register for classes until they get that stupid transcript in. and my mother has all these things I need to do and they keep changing and she keeps yelling at me for them even though either I can't do anything about them or I can't do anything about them at the time she decides to mention them. Thinking about these things makes me such an anxious mess that I become incapable of doing anything about them. They upset me so much the other day I had to go to the valium. I thought I was done with the valium but luckily I save my perscriptions! So I try not the think about it. Which also means things don't get done. Oh well.
And there is also the whole life change thing that will happen here in a couple of weeks. Case moving seems like something that might eventually happen but the reality of not seeing him for almost two months has not set in.
My moving seems like something that will happen in another dimension. I think about things I will do in my new apartment and save recipes I anticipate cooking. Something creepy is my apartment is sitting down there waiting for me completely ready and I am pretending like I'm not going there in a couple of weeks. I could move in now if I wanted. But I haven't even called the utilities people.
I also feel like I've been neglecting my friends. I haven't talked to Debra in forever which I suppose I do need to talk to her about alot of things. But that makes me face the moving reality which I would prefer to ignore right now. It's just nice to pretend that my days will continue very much like they are now. Doing very little except hanging out with case, or hanging out with my family, or occasionally working- it's so empty but it seems so nice. I'm not sure I'm ready to go back to being busy constantly.
But daily, life is great! I know I'm sort of bi polar about these things but I don't spend very much time on the nerve wrecking part and mostly on the hanging out with my great boyfriend part!