Feels Like The First Time
Title: Feels Like The First Time
Pairing: YooSu
Genre: Romance, Angst
Length: Drabble
Disclaimer: I don't own DBSK :(
A/N: inspired by Yoochun's mental breakdown and Jaejoong's drunk tweets on December 21, 2010 passed midnight KST (or December 22, 2010 dawn KST?).
21.12.10 | For The First Time - The Script
Does it make you feel better if I say God loves you and he will only give the best for your life? I knew you’d scoff at my words, and you did, but when I lowered my gaze in disappointment you grabbed my chin and kissed me softly. I smiled and you blushed.
God, Su, and you still believe in that religion although it bashes the type of relationship we’re in. I swear I don’t get you most of the times, you said. I laughed and kissed you again.
Chun-ah, you’re saying nonsense. I said I believe in God, not religion. I cupped your cheek with a hand and held your hand with the other. And I believe God planned the best for you. For us.
You scoffed again, as expected, but you were fighting a smile and I knew. It had been painful to see you so pale and in bed. ‘When you’re in bead, you’re dead,’ my mind quoted the words from the book I’ve read before, Tuesdays With Morrie. I refused to believe it; you’re alive and will always be. At least in my heart you would be.
The doctor said it would be painful, especially at night. You said you saw it coming so you were not afraid, but I was terrified. I was terrified of the thought not being able to see you again. Yes, that is most terrifying. I was terrified of seeing you in pain and not being able to do anything about it. I tried to be strong around you, never cried in front of you, but I broke down whenever you’re not around.
I know you cried in your sleep and yet acted like nothing happened the next day. God, I hate you sometimes…With your condition, Jaejoong still had to drag you for a checkup or else we would never know about that lung cancer. It took the doctor to say it might be our last year together for you to confessed. I hate you, Park Yoochun, I hate the fact that I love you so much it hurts.
But I’m thankful, you said after. I have you to help me go through these hard times. Without you I would have break down and give up.
It was my turn to scoff. Corny, as always, I said even though my heart ached like hell hearing those words from you. You must have noticed as I averted my eyes from you to the windowsills because you then patted my head. What was that for? I asked innocently.
Thank you, Su-ah… And with those words I broke down. I didn’t want to lose you, no one can replace you, and there would always be a huge hole in my heart without your presence filling it. I didn’t say those, but I know you heard me anyway. Then you left when I wasn’t there, just like that. I always wanted to say ‘fuck you for leaving me’ but I didn’t get the chance. As soon as I saw you again I ran and hugged you and cried. Yah, Park Yoochun, I should have beaten you to death for making me suffer.
“What are you thinking about?” then he asked, kissing the top of my head, disturbing my chain of thoughts.
I smirked, “How I should have beaten you up when I saw you again. You deserve to die twice after what you put me through, you know.”
“Hey, I came back…” he pouted and I kissed his protests away.
“After 20 years? Yeah, thanks Chunnie…”
He chuckled, the sound I love the most in this world, then kissed my hair again. “At least we’re together now.”
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
“Corny…”
“Mood spoiler much?”
I laughed and kissed him. “Love you.”
He smiled, “Feels like the first time I saw you all over again.”
Pairing: YooSu
Genre: Romance, Angst
Length: Drabble
Disclaimer: I don't own DBSK :(
A/N: inspired by Yoochun's mental breakdown and Jaejoong's drunk tweets on December 21, 2010 passed midnight KST (or December 22, 2010 dawn KST?).
21.12.10 | For The First Time - The Script
Does it make you feel better if I say God loves you and he will only give the best for your life? I knew you’d scoff at my words, and you did, but when I lowered my gaze in disappointment you grabbed my chin and kissed me softly. I smiled and you blushed.
God, Su, and you still believe in that religion although it bashes the type of relationship we’re in. I swear I don’t get you most of the times, you said. I laughed and kissed you again.
Chun-ah, you’re saying nonsense. I said I believe in God, not religion. I cupped your cheek with a hand and held your hand with the other. And I believe God planned the best for you. For us.
You scoffed again, as expected, but you were fighting a smile and I knew. It had been painful to see you so pale and in bed. ‘When you’re in bead, you’re dead,’ my mind quoted the words from the book I’ve read before, Tuesdays With Morrie. I refused to believe it; you’re alive and will always be. At least in my heart you would be.
The doctor said it would be painful, especially at night. You said you saw it coming so you were not afraid, but I was terrified. I was terrified of the thought not being able to see you again. Yes, that is most terrifying. I was terrified of seeing you in pain and not being able to do anything about it. I tried to be strong around you, never cried in front of you, but I broke down whenever you’re not around.
I know you cried in your sleep and yet acted like nothing happened the next day. God, I hate you sometimes…With your condition, Jaejoong still had to drag you for a checkup or else we would never know about that lung cancer. It took the doctor to say it might be our last year together for you to confessed. I hate you, Park Yoochun, I hate the fact that I love you so much it hurts.
But I’m thankful, you said after. I have you to help me go through these hard times. Without you I would have break down and give up.
It was my turn to scoff. Corny, as always, I said even though my heart ached like hell hearing those words from you. You must have noticed as I averted my eyes from you to the windowsills because you then patted my head. What was that for? I asked innocently.
Thank you, Su-ah… And with those words I broke down. I didn’t want to lose you, no one can replace you, and there would always be a huge hole in my heart without your presence filling it. I didn’t say those, but I know you heard me anyway. Then you left when I wasn’t there, just like that. I always wanted to say ‘fuck you for leaving me’ but I didn’t get the chance. As soon as I saw you again I ran and hugged you and cried. Yah, Park Yoochun, I should have beaten you to death for making me suffer.
“What are you thinking about?” then he asked, kissing the top of my head, disturbing my chain of thoughts.
I smirked, “How I should have beaten you up when I saw you again. You deserve to die twice after what you put me through, you know.”
“Hey, I came back…” he pouted and I kissed his protests away.
“After 20 years? Yeah, thanks Chunnie…”
He chuckled, the sound I love the most in this world, then kissed my hair again. “At least we’re together now.”
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
“Corny…”
“Mood spoiler much?”
I laughed and kissed him. “Love you.”
He smiled, “Feels like the first time I saw you all over again.”