i love it!
a couple verses that i learned out at durley from rebecca roberts:
"i will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; i will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. i will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; i will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. and i will put my spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." ezekial 36:25-27
god's promises are so amazing. i heard the most profound sermon ever this past weekend. the camp pastor, malcolm smith, made the christian life SO clear to me. he said that if we're living from rededication to rededication... that is, from committing to god, sinning, failing, feeling guilty, recommitting, sinning, failing, feeling guilty... then we're doing it wrong. we're trapped. we're miserable. and finally, we give up.
which is kinda where i was until saturday.
the last two months or so, i've just felt very weak, and thus, like an utter christian failure. the harder i tried to live out god's plan, the more i failed and felt guilty. so i wasn't rejecting god, i was just hiding because of my shame. so when rebecca called me tuesday to be a counselor at senior teen, i was extremely hesitant. who am i to lead a cabin full of high school girls when i myself haven't figured anything out?
but i went. god's a wonderful orchestrator.
and as my girls and i spent two days all struggling with these questions and feeling like failures, god gave us some real answers through malcolm. malcolm told us that jesus did not live a human life in order to give us a great EXAMPLE, because we are not to try to imitate his life. those "what would jesus do" bracelets are a joke, because we as humans can NEVER attempt to imitate jesus. we would fail everytime. we are not god. we are humans.
so instead, jesus lived his life, and then when we commit to christ, he lives his life again, THROUGH us. malcolm told us never to say "no" to temptations, because we will fall each time. rather, we are to say "yes" to jesus. and jesus IS strong enough to resist, we aren't.
we are supposed to admit we are weak and can't do it. and during a praise service saturday night, i just lifted my heart to god and said, "i can't do it anymore. i'm giving up. i don't want to try and fail. i am saying yes. if you want me, if you want my life, then you need to come and get it. come and live it through me. because i sure can't do it myself."
you wouldn't believe what a burden was lifted. i don't HAVE to be perfect! i don't even have to try!! all i have to do is keep saying "yes" to jesus, and HE will be my strength! for the first time in twenty-three years, it just all CLICKED for me!
and praise god, it also clicked for my cabin!! since we had all been struggling with these same questions and issues, we were all dumbfounded by god's goodness in answering them through malcolm. i had one girl commit to christ for the first time, and the other four all made strong committments again. they all said "YES!!" to jesus! and praise him again, he used me as a tool in those decisions! i'm so thrilled that i was ready to be used and that i obeyed! it was the best night... for all of us...
this casting crowns song sums all this up more than i ever could. but amazingly enough, i never "heard" these lyrics like i do now.
//If you ask me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If you ask me to go
Preach to a lost world that Jesus saves
I'll go, but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
Cause when I'm weak - You make me strong
When I'm blind - You shine your light on me
Cause I'll never get by
living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your truth, and I'll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
If you ask me to run
And carry your light
in to foreign land
If you ask me to fight
Deliver your people from satans hand
To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind
I'd give my last breath for Your glory//
--"IN ME" by casting crowns
oh... and those ezekiel verses i started with? my study bible says this for those verses: "no matter how impure your life is right now, god offers you a fresh start. you can have your sins washed away, receive a new heart for god, and have his spirit within you--if you accept god's promise. why try to patch up your old life when you can have a new one?"
"i will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; i will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. i will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; i will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. and i will put my spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." ezekial 36:25-27
god's promises are so amazing. i heard the most profound sermon ever this past weekend. the camp pastor, malcolm smith, made the christian life SO clear to me. he said that if we're living from rededication to rededication... that is, from committing to god, sinning, failing, feeling guilty, recommitting, sinning, failing, feeling guilty... then we're doing it wrong. we're trapped. we're miserable. and finally, we give up.
which is kinda where i was until saturday.
the last two months or so, i've just felt very weak, and thus, like an utter christian failure. the harder i tried to live out god's plan, the more i failed and felt guilty. so i wasn't rejecting god, i was just hiding because of my shame. so when rebecca called me tuesday to be a counselor at senior teen, i was extremely hesitant. who am i to lead a cabin full of high school girls when i myself haven't figured anything out?
but i went. god's a wonderful orchestrator.
and as my girls and i spent two days all struggling with these questions and feeling like failures, god gave us some real answers through malcolm. malcolm told us that jesus did not live a human life in order to give us a great EXAMPLE, because we are not to try to imitate his life. those "what would jesus do" bracelets are a joke, because we as humans can NEVER attempt to imitate jesus. we would fail everytime. we are not god. we are humans.
so instead, jesus lived his life, and then when we commit to christ, he lives his life again, THROUGH us. malcolm told us never to say "no" to temptations, because we will fall each time. rather, we are to say "yes" to jesus. and jesus IS strong enough to resist, we aren't.
we are supposed to admit we are weak and can't do it. and during a praise service saturday night, i just lifted my heart to god and said, "i can't do it anymore. i'm giving up. i don't want to try and fail. i am saying yes. if you want me, if you want my life, then you need to come and get it. come and live it through me. because i sure can't do it myself."
you wouldn't believe what a burden was lifted. i don't HAVE to be perfect! i don't even have to try!! all i have to do is keep saying "yes" to jesus, and HE will be my strength! for the first time in twenty-three years, it just all CLICKED for me!
and praise god, it also clicked for my cabin!! since we had all been struggling with these same questions and issues, we were all dumbfounded by god's goodness in answering them through malcolm. i had one girl commit to christ for the first time, and the other four all made strong committments again. they all said "YES!!" to jesus! and praise him again, he used me as a tool in those decisions! i'm so thrilled that i was ready to be used and that i obeyed! it was the best night... for all of us...
this casting crowns song sums all this up more than i ever could. but amazingly enough, i never "heard" these lyrics like i do now.
//If you ask me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If you ask me to go
Preach to a lost world that Jesus saves
I'll go, but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
Cause when I'm weak - You make me strong
When I'm blind - You shine your light on me
Cause I'll never get by
living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your truth, and I'll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
If you ask me to run
And carry your light
in to foreign land
If you ask me to fight
Deliver your people from satans hand
To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind
I'd give my last breath for Your glory//
--"IN ME" by casting crowns
oh... and those ezekiel verses i started with? my study bible says this for those verses: "no matter how impure your life is right now, god offers you a fresh start. you can have your sins washed away, receive a new heart for god, and have his spirit within you--if you accept god's promise. why try to patch up your old life when you can have a new one?"