something's gonna steal your carbon
Another 6AM. Conscious. Writing to put myself to sleep. I really need to get back on a regular sleep cycle.
Well, I've been thinking a lot about depression. It seems like everyone around me is going through bouts of it, myself included I suppose. I think it's just the winter term blues. There's always so much drama winter semester. I can't wait for it to be over... just 2 more weeks (of hell)!
I've also been thinking about what I'm going to do this summer. I've ruled out Africa just because I can't find a place safe enough for me to travel alone to. So instead I've been looking at an internship in Brooklyn at Afropop Worldwide, a radio station/music archive that is basically the authority on African music (and world music for that matter). It would definitely be great if I could get an internship there, though it could be fierce competition and my time to act is running out. There's also a grant I can apply to from W&L that would give me enough money to spend 10 weeks this summer doing anything that will help me with my senior thesis. Interning with Afropop would probably help me immensely. I just need to be exposed to the music, and have people to talk to about it. Even though I really like African music and I enjoy finding out about it, I still find it hard to motivate myself to spend much time actually looking for music as opposed to just articles about the music. So, just being at Afropop would give me that extra push to really immerse myself in what I'm trying to do.
If the Afropop internship/W&L grant doesn't pan out, then I will probably be home this summer in Memphis. I will try to get an internship of sorts with some of the Democratic politicians or candidates in the Memphis area. I'll also definitely do some volunteer work and study for and take the GRE. I'll also try to do some research for my senior thesis. I might try to become a bartender or something. We'll see.
So much stuff to do in these remaining two weeks: intense political philosophy paper, french 343 final paper, french 343 final performance, 3 more 2-page essays for french 280, 4,000 word french 280 website, french 280 final, poetry class chapbook, poetry class poetry reading, other shit for poetry class. All of that plus writing the Tennessee state report for Mock Convention (since I'm Tennessee State Chair) and having regular homework to do in 3 of those classes while all this other shit is weighing over me. And Muse.
And all my friends are getting engaged. But alas, it will be a while for me. I'm damn sure about Matt, but if it comforts him to wait until he's the "right" age then I'll wait. Not too long-mind you. If he can't decide by the time he's 27, after being with me for 6 years, then I might be forced to reexamine the situation. But let's hope that doesn't happen because I love Matt very much, and I know he loves me too. :)
Off to bed now.