why is love intensified by absence?

[lemlerlovesyou]

The truth is.. as much as i wanted to believe that we would be together forever. i expected him to say goodbye. i knew it wouldn't last like we both had said it would. we're at two completely different stages in our lives right now. and as much as you want something to work, that doesn't mean it's going to. you can try everything in your power, and by the last page, it'll end. as much as it felt like a story book romance, i knew it wouldn't end like one.. mistakes were made, second chances were given, lies were told, and still, i forgave him. i loved him, and i still do. i'll probably love him for a very long time. and as much as i act like it doesn't bother me losing him, it does. i'm just mad at the fact how much he changed, and how he did like a complete 180, and i was the last to find out. i'll walk around with a smile on my face all day long, but no one will see the tears i cry at night. no one will see how much it kills me us not talking anymore. and even if we did, that'd only make it harder. so i can honestly say i'm happy i haven't broken down, and tried to talk to him. because that would only make things worse. it'll take time to heal, and try to forget, but everyone knows you can't forget a love that you once experienced. i wish i could just erase these last past 4 months out of my memory, but i know that i can't. and i know that if he ever comes running back, i'll be there, with open arms. he could feed me his sorry bullshit, and i'd eat it like a fancy dinner. i can't believe how much he's changed in not even half a year. i just wish it was all like it had been in the beginning. i'll always remember that and how it felt to be truly happy for the first time in a long time. i'll still want to call him at night, and tell him all about my day.. and when something goes wrong, i'll still want him to comfort me, and tell me it'll all be okay.. but we all know that he won't be there and it won't happen again. and if i ever find someone new, they'll never be able to replace him..

this almost made me cry..