In honor of the olympics...
Lets give it up for the Olympics! Not only did the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens bring in record lows in Olympic attendance, and not only did the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens bring in a wave of embarrasment for its own home team as Greek athlete after Greek athlete gets stripped of its metals, but Venezuela managed to finally get a bronze medal in weightlifting. Amazingly enough, it you never hear about Venezuela in any Olympic doping scandal...
All seriousness aside though, the Summer Olympics have really played an important role in our lives... The crappy advertising has now shifted from a dumbass "presidential hopeful" offering great NetZero service or a debate between sattelite and cable to laim-ass olympic themed beer commercials. Laim-ass... now thats a great descriptive word(s).
The Olympics have also shared with me a great appreciation for the skinny atheletes on bobsledding teams. Many watch the Winter Olympics and wonder at the bravery - or seeming stupidity - at the athletes who throw themselves down one badass slide of ice at rediculous speeds. I have decided, upon great reflection of course, that I cannot, despite whatever attempts, that I cannot be a bobsledder. It isn't the horrific crashes, or the sheer speed, it is the running on ice that scares me the most... Scary is an appropriate word for such an undertaking. I can see only two outcomes for this Olympic sympathizer. One would be me doing the splits at high speed sliding on my ass/chode all the way down the ice slide, or slipping with one leg almost in the sled and racking my nuts on the side of the sled in what would no doubt be the source of tremendous internet blog and Olympic blooper reels - which is sick.
In addition to that, lets give it up to Bush Kerry. Amid the rediculous Olympic advertisements there are still the evermore rediculous and annoying campaign advertisements. How sad can our politics get? I can just see the next assault of Bush's campaign ads: "John Kerry is a friend of a man named Charlie. Charlie was also the nickname given to the Vietkong. John Kerry is Ho Chi Minh. I'm George W. Bush and Dick Cheney approved this message." Sounds stupid right? So is the bickering between grown men. Apparently the two sides could care less about the minority votes and have gone straight for the soap opera crowd. So John Kerry's Vietnam comments are being challenged right now by some military grunt workers with a catchy, cutsey name. He blames Bush for supporting the group. He then asks Bush to condemn the group and their ads. So Bush in turn asks Kerry to condemn ALL of the groups - but never actually does so himself. Wow. Does it get any better? Throw in a pregnant necrophiliac, a pretty maid with a passion for old men, and some "college students" who are involved in way to much drama and you've got yourself a pretty good Soap Operah... brought to you by Candidate NetZero who will offer cheap rates on Budwiser, the official beer of the Olympic athletes.
Damn. One day I will write this when I'm not tired... then it might be funny...
Oi!
All seriousness aside though, the Summer Olympics have really played an important role in our lives... The crappy advertising has now shifted from a dumbass "presidential hopeful" offering great NetZero service or a debate between sattelite and cable to laim-ass olympic themed beer commercials. Laim-ass... now thats a great descriptive word(s).
The Olympics have also shared with me a great appreciation for the skinny atheletes on bobsledding teams. Many watch the Winter Olympics and wonder at the bravery - or seeming stupidity - at the athletes who throw themselves down one badass slide of ice at rediculous speeds. I have decided, upon great reflection of course, that I cannot, despite whatever attempts, that I cannot be a bobsledder. It isn't the horrific crashes, or the sheer speed, it is the running on ice that scares me the most... Scary is an appropriate word for such an undertaking. I can see only two outcomes for this Olympic sympathizer. One would be me doing the splits at high speed sliding on my ass/chode all the way down the ice slide, or slipping with one leg almost in the sled and racking my nuts on the side of the sled in what would no doubt be the source of tremendous internet blog and Olympic blooper reels - which is sick.
In addition to that, lets give it up to Bush Kerry. Amid the rediculous Olympic advertisements there are still the evermore rediculous and annoying campaign advertisements. How sad can our politics get? I can just see the next assault of Bush's campaign ads: "John Kerry is a friend of a man named Charlie. Charlie was also the nickname given to the Vietkong. John Kerry is Ho Chi Minh. I'm George W. Bush and Dick Cheney approved this message." Sounds stupid right? So is the bickering between grown men. Apparently the two sides could care less about the minority votes and have gone straight for the soap opera crowd. So John Kerry's Vietnam comments are being challenged right now by some military grunt workers with a catchy, cutsey name. He blames Bush for supporting the group. He then asks Bush to condemn the group and their ads. So Bush in turn asks Kerry to condemn ALL of the groups - but never actually does so himself. Wow. Does it get any better? Throw in a pregnant necrophiliac, a pretty maid with a passion for old men, and some "college students" who are involved in way to much drama and you've got yourself a pretty good Soap Operah... brought to you by Candidate NetZero who will offer cheap rates on Budwiser, the official beer of the Olympic athletes.
Damn. One day I will write this when I'm not tired... then it might be funny...
Oi!