Movies
Saw Valentines Day last night
hmmm
Interesting perspective on some of the situations that came to be.
So I am looking at about two weeks out before I move back....
then in August I am going to try for government money so I suppose I need to take my ACT or SAT fairly soon.
Jessica does not want nor can I say that she loves me for her actions speak for louder than her words did. While she passed the time with me I gave myself to her.
So lesson to be had here
If she feels perfect go the other way
I will just focus on guitar the Porsche and college
I will go to Seville on Thursdays since it is dead on Saturday nights. From there I will get the interaction that I need.
Or perhaps I can train myself not to go there and just be content that it is possible.
Jerica and had an honest discussion between one another of making a point to keep it just as friends. She finds that she could love me but it isn't a galaxy stopping love. Keeps me from being an asshole if I substituted her for Jessica (Jessica doesn't fucking like you Michael so let the shit go). I hope the snow storm treated her well.
I must say that I am entertaining the thought of retrieving the piano I gave her back. And I could also give her back her tire from her Camaro that I fixed with my money because she did not think her father would pay the expense. So I bought her a set of tires granted they were used tires but $60 is $60. Of course I never did anything with her I never drove out to UWF and started her car for her when she called me. No I am that guy that is considered to not express his love through words or actions. Just sit in my room and listen to music.
Why do I let her words cut through me?
Why do I keep listening to her voice mail that will be gone within a short matter of time?
why do I not delete her from my phone?
To delete her would not make me forget her but it does serve as a painful reminder
I really regret that the last time we were on the phone I was yelling.
I could defend it and say I was hurt... true enough
But you know I doubt I will be able to change that and I would much rather not have me yelling as the last discussion we had. So I miss her. BFD Mom and dad discussed with me today that this probably has me thrown through a loop. And yes I was caught off-guard. But should I have been?
I am glad that revenge and exacting the hurt bestowed towards me towards her is no longer prevailant.
I would of really liked for Jessica to have been with me last night at the movies.
You know what?
Fuck this moping around soggy faced attitude
I am going to road trip to Boston when the ice melts and I am hoping she will know as I know what she means to me!!
To talk myself out of this irrational thought
If in fact she does love me but has chosen college due to pressure from financial backers like her parents I will still be shit out of luck
But if that were the case why not postpone us dating for 3 years til she gets out of college
Neither of those things happened
She either saw that I am no good for her
or that we had run our course
Either way Michael she will not have you back.
The whole fucking reason you have not gone to New Orleans yet is because you do not want see a red envelope with return to sender on it.
You are such a spineless fucking prick always taking the easy road and one of least resistance
"Hey this works for now so this is how it is"
Fucking pathetic!
Jess saw it and so she said
Honey I can't be a part of your misery
I want a man that can buy me things
make me feel special
who I don't have to lie to my parents about
Parents-#1 cause of my relationship problems
Money-#2 cause of my relationship problems
Pity#3 cause of my relationship problems
Jessica is just a notch in the belt a stepping stone to happiness
No need to entertain ideas about joining to become a monk
Move on as she is
or don't
it is that easy
motherfuck!! I am a roller coaster
Should work on that
hmmm
Interesting perspective on some of the situations that came to be.
So I am looking at about two weeks out before I move back....
then in August I am going to try for government money so I suppose I need to take my ACT or SAT fairly soon.
Jessica does not want nor can I say that she loves me for her actions speak for louder than her words did. While she passed the time with me I gave myself to her.
So lesson to be had here
If she feels perfect go the other way
I will just focus on guitar the Porsche and college
I will go to Seville on Thursdays since it is dead on Saturday nights. From there I will get the interaction that I need.
Or perhaps I can train myself not to go there and just be content that it is possible.
Jerica and had an honest discussion between one another of making a point to keep it just as friends. She finds that she could love me but it isn't a galaxy stopping love. Keeps me from being an asshole if I substituted her for Jessica (Jessica doesn't fucking like you Michael so let the shit go). I hope the snow storm treated her well.
I must say that I am entertaining the thought of retrieving the piano I gave her back. And I could also give her back her tire from her Camaro that I fixed with my money because she did not think her father would pay the expense. So I bought her a set of tires granted they were used tires but $60 is $60. Of course I never did anything with her I never drove out to UWF and started her car for her when she called me. No I am that guy that is considered to not express his love through words or actions. Just sit in my room and listen to music.
Why do I let her words cut through me?
Why do I keep listening to her voice mail that will be gone within a short matter of time?
why do I not delete her from my phone?
To delete her would not make me forget her but it does serve as a painful reminder
I really regret that the last time we were on the phone I was yelling.
I could defend it and say I was hurt... true enough
But you know I doubt I will be able to change that and I would much rather not have me yelling as the last discussion we had. So I miss her. BFD Mom and dad discussed with me today that this probably has me thrown through a loop. And yes I was caught off-guard. But should I have been?
I am glad that revenge and exacting the hurt bestowed towards me towards her is no longer prevailant.
I would of really liked for Jessica to have been with me last night at the movies.
You know what?
Fuck this moping around soggy faced attitude
I am going to road trip to Boston when the ice melts and I am hoping she will know as I know what she means to me!!
To talk myself out of this irrational thought
If in fact she does love me but has chosen college due to pressure from financial backers like her parents I will still be shit out of luck
But if that were the case why not postpone us dating for 3 years til she gets out of college
Neither of those things happened
She either saw that I am no good for her
or that we had run our course
Either way Michael she will not have you back.
The whole fucking reason you have not gone to New Orleans yet is because you do not want see a red envelope with return to sender on it.
You are such a spineless fucking prick always taking the easy road and one of least resistance
"Hey this works for now so this is how it is"
Fucking pathetic!
Jess saw it and so she said
Honey I can't be a part of your misery
I want a man that can buy me things
make me feel special
who I don't have to lie to my parents about
Parents-#1 cause of my relationship problems
Money-#2 cause of my relationship problems
Pity#3 cause of my relationship problems
Jessica is just a notch in the belt a stepping stone to happiness
No need to entertain ideas about joining to become a monk
Move on as she is
or don't
it is that easy
motherfuck!! I am a roller coaster
Should work on that