(no subject)
...man i walked outside today to go to work and smelled the smell of grass and fresh air and whatev and it made me remember how back in the day when i was a kid i smelled that everyday and it was the best smell ever...because me and all my friends(well some not friends) would all get together and play football in somebodys yard or baseball depending on what season it was and it was the funnest thing ever just playing tackle football in some kids yard even if it was wet outside and you got mud all over yourself after getting tackled it didnt matter...nothing mattered, it was just you and kids just doing something fun without having to worry about anything except trying to win and what time you had to be home just so you could do some stuff and play again the next day...and it was actually awesome because i was really good and could run fast as crap and catch and throw just as good as dillon rogers (yes he lived in my neighborhood) i didnt have to worry about school because it was soooo easy to me i made straight a's without trying and i didnt have to work and i didnt have to worry about girls because i didnt see them outside of school and i didnt have to worry about parents pressuring me to go to college telling me to try hard in school just to make them proud and i didnt have to worry about not sleeping i was actually able to wake up at 7 to go to school then ride my bike with a friend or two 2 miles down moody road and go to school and at school i actually wasnt tired and i payed attention and we had recess and there we played more football and i was happy all the time all i had to worry about was can i jump higher than this kid and make this catch or oh crap this big kid is gonna hit me...now i dont really have time for friends..and if i do its not much and not as fun as it used to be.../sigh..but i guess life goes on now i have to worry about trying to get into a good college and whether or not im gonna play football next year..or how good im gonna be in baseball this year..or am i gonna hurt my back again and not ever play because its ruined..or i gotta go to work...or my girlfriend...or how come i dont ever want to sleep and when i do its not very good...and why dont i care about anything anymore...and why does playing xbox relieve stress for me, and why am i always so stressed out..and why does my mom drink all the time..and why does she and my stepdad take pills for stress and why does my dad take pills for stress and why is everyone so stressed esp in my family and why am i depressed on and off ahhhhh everything is so effed now in my life its like i dont even care anymore and i dont try to fix anything i just put everything off and pretend its not real and i put everything that stresses me in and just build it up and one day it might just come out idk...im gonna go...me and jason have some stress to relieve haha