HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL ROOMMATE/*big* COUSIN HEATHER ROWE!!!!
-she has a car yet NEVER drives it to class, instead she makes ME drive her. I dont know if this stems from her phobia of parking (ever since the time she got a ticket at gus) or simply because she's scared to drive. -42 degrees out, she'll still walk to class a mile away, if im not around to drive her ass
-her complete lack of computer skills. Im talking didnt even know how to create a new folder until i showed her
-and related topic: when we were applying for jobs she listed under skills: Computer skills (PC)
-our intense spooning every night...
-she wont let me watch tv the night before she has a test and when i suggest she go into the study lounge, she scoffs at me as if i just told her to commit murder.
-when im sick she takes me to the medical center down the road
-shes so easy to embarress in public
-she randomly decides to get a car wash, then after we've been waiting in a line of cars for 20 mins, she decides shes too scared because she doesnt understand how it works, so then we drive all the way to henrietta for a carwash.
-she decorated my bed for my half-birthday, balloons, streamers and poster and all
-every tues/thurs her alarm BLASTS at 7:30, she jumps out of her bed by jumping on MY bed and thus pushing my mattress, then goes and CLICKS THE LIGHT OF GOD(aka her desk light) on, then i hear ::click click click click:: for the next 10 mins as she checks everyonesssss profile on her bl. and so yeah, i am then awake for the day.
-the light of god desk lamp deserves its own bullet!
-she supports my hair dying habit even though she makes fun of me
-i think she's partially gotten used to/accepted/come to love my obsession with sexual things
-ditto for my support of gay things
-i can get her to laugh so much she pees her pants
-she sits with me on the drunk bus when i am hiding from certain boys
-she gets embarresed by any picture i take of her in which she is eating/looking sexual/sleeping
-she does a variety of activies in her sleep: she TALKS ALOT, and also leaps (over to MY bed), EATS, and walks
-shes the best study-er i know and she saves my ass on our art history tests
-she nicknames people by calling them by THEIR REAL NAME lol
-she's the one who first told me about iron mike's
-her warm vanilla spray that smells like shit
-i once had her trim my hair and she ended up cutting off 5 inches, but it actually looked good
-she's a dip hog, averaging 2 tablespoons of dip per carrot
-she ALWAYS eats a little bit of my food, usually the piece im saving for the end to savor because its the best
-she always tells me "finished my pysch notes!" in this nerdy little voice
-shes the nicest girl on the floor...which means i have to be the bitch of the room and make enemies so people wont walk all over her
-ill come back from class and she'll have framed ANOTHER picture in one of MY frames.
-her STUPID glasses!
-whenever someone is coming to visit she goes crazy and yells at me to clean bc the room is a mess!
a mess=one sock on the floor
-she drives me around...
-she let me borrow her white coat for weeks...until i kinda ruined it.
-she goes to visit other schools and sees gay and/or drag and/or sexual posters and not only thinks of me, but steals them for me too :)
-i have to explain to her what words such as "emo" and "tossing a salad" mean
-she lets me borrow her digital camera when the stupid flash stops working on mine
-she says stuff like "Lauren, smile like a derriare!" when taking a picture of me at a party. Then gets embaressed when i call attention to what she just accidently said.
-everyone lays their problems on her, and she takes it like a champ
-speaking of champ, she is the CHAMP of funneling/shootering beer...honestly better than any of the boys.
-ill be woken up at 4am and hear her crunching on MY chips for like the next 40 mins
-she likes my jazz hands
-HER initials are HER
-she gets a 95 on a test and is depressed and almost cries
-her gpa is almost 4.0
-however she has very little common sense
-everyone on the floor borrows her car, usually at the inconvienece of herself or me, and she never yells at them...very good anger management
-she'll go days without eating anything except slim fast, celery sticks, and wilted salads from southside
-she has a giant 3ftx2ft poster of freakin Dave Matthews Band in our room
-she rips multiple pairs of jeans because she thinks she is a gymnast
-we put on Prince Ali from Aladdin and perform our 9 yr old dance class dance that she retaught to me because she rememebers it by heart
-she thinks she can comptete with the dancer girls on BET
-ill go to put on my shower flip flops and theyre missing...
-she disapears for 1 hour increments at a time, and when this happens everybody and their brother comes and askes me where she is. usually she's been over on 4N asking HL about psych
-she squels like a pig when drunk
-she loses her ID card like everyday, which means i have to swipe mine for her to eat. Amazingly however, she's actually UNDER the amt of money she's supposed to have on her card. i dont understand.
-she doesnt pee when she wakes up and usually only pees once a day around 1 or 2pm...sometimes twice a day if she's drank a lot of pop
-her going-out shirts always show AT LEAST 4 inches of cleavage...and if you make fun of her for it she gets offended and denies it
-speaking of, every weekend shell squeeze into the same white shirt and ask "does this look too tight?" and even tho i always say "no" she'll repeat the same ritual the next weekend as if she has suddenly gainned 30 lbs in one week
-she does crazy lunges and stretchs to fit into her favorite pair of jeans
-she does little things for people, like make them cheezy magic marker inspirational signs
-"can i borrow your CHEEZE WEDGE?" the pillow only cost me like $5 but she wont buy her own
-she can fall asleep with me journaling and typing
-i burned the carpet with the iron, melted plasic on the lamp and made it smoke, and accidently defrosted the fridge...and she still sweats me
-i touch her ass a lot and i think she actually kinda likes it now
-our *dates* to RJ
-we get in fun fights over things like where pressure belts in western ny come from
-she blasts dmb, and dixie chicks
-however to atone herself she also blasts sexual rap songs and 80s
-her speakers suck so whenever she plays a song i dont like i just turn my music on and blow her shitty song outta the water
-she always throws away smelly food in the garbage can by MY bed
-i once lost a hoop earring...she came back from class and told me she found it. I got excited and asked her for it and then she replied "oh its on the ground by sturges." She saw it on the ground and walked by. Yeah lets just say, i never found it.
-i download porn and turn it up really loud just because it embarresses her soooo much
-our daily Oprah addiction, which started the day that we discovered out "inner strippers" on the show
-she randomly wants us to just drink alone in the room while we wear pearls
-she lets me use her cream eye shadows
-she randomly wears retainers at night like she's 14
....I love you so much heath...
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY!!!
