Afterthought
I hope to hell my ex's aren't talking shit on me now.
I think of it like this: at some point in my life, I believed, whole-heartedly, that my partner was someone I could potentially love for the rest of my life. Perhaps we would... figure out how to enjoy each other's company despite each other's flaws, and we could negotiate and learn and be compatible for some time in each other's lives. Maybe forever?
Anyway, I hung out with Megan tonight, went over to her new house with two male roommates. I have a hard time with boys, but I'm learning how to look them in the face again. It's easier with boys I don't know cause there's nothing to lose. Things were going pretty well until one of her roommates started talking shit on one of his ex's. Criticizing her sexually. A particularly low blow, in my opinion.
I could sit there and not laugh (in contrast to the rest) and let it fly. Or.
"I hope she's talking as much shit on you right now."
Not quite what I meant, but it started the conversation. [I meant, "I hope to hell my ex's aren't talking shit on me the way you're talking shit on her right now."] He said a bunch of stuff after, but he missed the point -- and I missed the wording.
I think that if you choose someone at some point in your life, you choose them for life. Not literally, of course, since none of my relationships have lasted, but figuratively, yes. I don't talk shit on my ex's because I respected them when I got with them, and I respect them now. [Except maybe Ed, but rape justifies shittalk. And even in his case, I argue why I got with him in the first place.] To talk shit on your ex's is to talk shit on yourself. You're saying you didn't know shit when you got together, and it was some cosmic flaw that it happened. [And cosmic flaws do occasionally occur, as in the case of **** *******.]
And I don't know about you, but I try not to talk shit on myself. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I've learned from them, and to deny me my ignorance is to deny me my wisdom.
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Progress, men: I spoke up. I looked him in the face. I challenged him. Nobody stopped me. I didn't stop me. I wasn't necessarily graceful, but now I know what I meant, and if the situation were to arise again, I would have the right words. I'm proud of myself, and I blasted Ani DiFranco in my car on the way home. I'll be seeing these boys again, and they'll know not to diss women in front of me again.
I think of it like this: at some point in my life, I believed, whole-heartedly, that my partner was someone I could potentially love for the rest of my life. Perhaps we would... figure out how to enjoy each other's company despite each other's flaws, and we could negotiate and learn and be compatible for some time in each other's lives. Maybe forever?
Anyway, I hung out with Megan tonight, went over to her new house with two male roommates. I have a hard time with boys, but I'm learning how to look them in the face again. It's easier with boys I don't know cause there's nothing to lose. Things were going pretty well until one of her roommates started talking shit on one of his ex's. Criticizing her sexually. A particularly low blow, in my opinion.
I could sit there and not laugh (in contrast to the rest) and let it fly. Or.
"I hope she's talking as much shit on you right now."
Not quite what I meant, but it started the conversation. [I meant, "I hope to hell my ex's aren't talking shit on me the way you're talking shit on her right now."] He said a bunch of stuff after, but he missed the point -- and I missed the wording.
I think that if you choose someone at some point in your life, you choose them for life. Not literally, of course, since none of my relationships have lasted, but figuratively, yes. I don't talk shit on my ex's because I respected them when I got with them, and I respect them now. [Except maybe Ed, but rape justifies shittalk. And even in his case, I argue why I got with him in the first place.] To talk shit on your ex's is to talk shit on yourself. You're saying you didn't know shit when you got together, and it was some cosmic flaw that it happened. [And cosmic flaws do occasionally occur, as in the case of **** *******.]
And I don't know about you, but I try not to talk shit on myself. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I've learned from them, and to deny me my ignorance is to deny me my wisdom.
------------------------------------
Progress, men: I spoke up. I looked him in the face. I challenged him. Nobody stopped me. I didn't stop me. I wasn't necessarily graceful, but now I know what I meant, and if the situation were to arise again, I would have the right words. I'm proud of myself, and I blasted Ani DiFranco in my car on the way home. I'll be seeing these boys again, and they'll know not to diss women in front of me again.