So Sleepy
Yes, I'm tired as hell and the past week has been very odd...
The whole Frank thing has my stomach in knots...it's hard to have a past with someone without thinking of having a future with them. Like we'd have a future...I guess thats why it's always been so comfortable...which is good and bad. I don't wanna aimlessly date people for the rest of my life, yet I don't wanna commit hardcore yet. A lot of my friends are getting married, which is cool...and they always said I'd be first...but I
m not the same person as I was with John...things change. I feel too young to commit...like my parents did at my age....it seems to end up bad in my family...so I think I'll take a step back. I wish I knew who I was supposed to be with...Mike keeps asking me to marry him....WTF? Come on...we dated for like 2 months in hs...and those are 60 days I don't remember...along witht he year with Matt and the Year+ with John. It's all a mess...then there was Joe's proposals...another WTF...I wish people would quit fucking with me...obviously if we're not together anymore it's for a reason...and we're not now...so get off it!
Matt's mom died last week...it's so sad...then there was the accusation that I "didn't belong there" which I almost fell for except for the fact that MY friends reassured me that I should be there for Matt...which I was and he said he was glad I came. We've been ok since senior year...old wounds do heal...and we were young and there were too many things going on to be sane...thats just it really. But I'm just glad I went and there was no real big scenes made...just a few unappropriate things...but what can you expect?
I worked 18 hours last week...and I had to work 5 1/2 today bc someone got fired...I'm glad I'm not on call til Weds...I can't stand being there anymore this week...it'll be a nice paycheck though...I have bills to pay...
I miss everyone, sorry I'm not around...I wanna get through the last 10 days of school and move back, get situated then I'll have plenty of time for visiting...
<3 you all...MUAH!
The whole Frank thing has my stomach in knots...it's hard to have a past with someone without thinking of having a future with them. Like we'd have a future...I guess thats why it's always been so comfortable...which is good and bad. I don't wanna aimlessly date people for the rest of my life, yet I don't wanna commit hardcore yet. A lot of my friends are getting married, which is cool...and they always said I'd be first...but I
m not the same person as I was with John...things change. I feel too young to commit...like my parents did at my age....it seems to end up bad in my family...so I think I'll take a step back. I wish I knew who I was supposed to be with...Mike keeps asking me to marry him....WTF? Come on...we dated for like 2 months in hs...and those are 60 days I don't remember...along witht he year with Matt and the Year+ with John. It's all a mess...then there was Joe's proposals...another WTF...I wish people would quit fucking with me...obviously if we're not together anymore it's for a reason...and we're not now...so get off it!
Matt's mom died last week...it's so sad...then there was the accusation that I "didn't belong there" which I almost fell for except for the fact that MY friends reassured me that I should be there for Matt...which I was and he said he was glad I came. We've been ok since senior year...old wounds do heal...and we were young and there were too many things going on to be sane...thats just it really. But I'm just glad I went and there was no real big scenes made...just a few unappropriate things...but what can you expect?
I worked 18 hours last week...and I had to work 5 1/2 today bc someone got fired...I'm glad I'm not on call til Weds...I can't stand being there anymore this week...it'll be a nice paycheck though...I have bills to pay...
I miss everyone, sorry I'm not around...I wanna get through the last 10 days of school and move back, get situated then I'll have plenty of time for visiting...
<3 you all...MUAH!