Honestly...it's getting old to me
So ya...Im just getting so frustrated with myself. I just want to be happy all the time and it's honestly NOT happening. I just want everything to be ok, I don't want to keep having questions in my head, but I guess I will have to wait until I can get answers.
Really...there ARE times when im so just happy and confident and that ends when i start thinking too much. thinking about college and what could happen between me and Justin. That's pretty much it..me and Justin. And I guess I just have so much uneasiness because I really haven't talked to him in 7 days or seen him since he's been on his cruise. I just want to be happy with myself and my life. I've thought about getting some kind of tattoo to symbolize confidence and happiness but I donno if I could live with having something on me forever, I'd just REALLY have to love it lol.
but...really I just want to have fun I don't want to go out and worry about what Justin is doing or what he is thinking or any of that bullshit and it kills me more b/c he doesn't worry as much as I do. He says that's because he says he trusts me 100% and man I do too!! It's just that there can always be another girl who can swipe him off of his feet. There can! But then I think to myself that Im a great person and I am who I am. I know he loves me with all of his heart. I just hate having so many things go through my mind. I just want to be the happy Leanna like I am and I don't want to keep thinking about a lot of my friends going away to college and possibly forgetting about me. Not like forgetting, but im just nervous about going up and visiting and things being different. I dont' want that feeling of weirdness. But I guess if they are my true friends it will be ok. But whatever. I honestly just want to be a happy person. I want to smile and think happy thoughts. When I think about Justin I want to think about all the good times...not that fact that he will be out of my life Physically..you know what I mean, not seeeing him everyday. I just want to love him and live my life HAPPILY! Is that so freakin hard to ask!! And I do tell myself that im a good person and im strong and happy and that does help for the most part. I think I will be a little bit happier when I see him tomorrow. Im just nervous at how he will react! I know Im gonna be jumping and happy and running into his arms. yay! But anyways..if you have read this far thank you!
Anyways..this is me venting and getting my feelings out. If you think im pathetic..oh well. It helps me cope. Well..love you all!!! xoxo
Really...there ARE times when im so just happy and confident and that ends when i start thinking too much. thinking about college and what could happen between me and Justin. That's pretty much it..me and Justin. And I guess I just have so much uneasiness because I really haven't talked to him in 7 days or seen him since he's been on his cruise. I just want to be happy with myself and my life. I've thought about getting some kind of tattoo to symbolize confidence and happiness but I donno if I could live with having something on me forever, I'd just REALLY have to love it lol.
but...really I just want to have fun I don't want to go out and worry about what Justin is doing or what he is thinking or any of that bullshit and it kills me more b/c he doesn't worry as much as I do. He says that's because he says he trusts me 100% and man I do too!! It's just that there can always be another girl who can swipe him off of his feet. There can! But then I think to myself that Im a great person and I am who I am. I know he loves me with all of his heart. I just hate having so many things go through my mind. I just want to be the happy Leanna like I am and I don't want to keep thinking about a lot of my friends going away to college and possibly forgetting about me. Not like forgetting, but im just nervous about going up and visiting and things being different. I dont' want that feeling of weirdness. But I guess if they are my true friends it will be ok. But whatever. I honestly just want to be a happy person. I want to smile and think happy thoughts. When I think about Justin I want to think about all the good times...not that fact that he will be out of my life Physically..you know what I mean, not seeeing him everyday. I just want to love him and live my life HAPPILY! Is that so freakin hard to ask!! And I do tell myself that im a good person and im strong and happy and that does help for the most part. I think I will be a little bit happier when I see him tomorrow. Im just nervous at how he will react! I know Im gonna be jumping and happy and running into his arms. yay! But anyways..if you have read this far thank you!
Anyways..this is me venting and getting my feelings out. If you think im pathetic..oh well. It helps me cope. Well..love you all!!! xoxo