Blah
So tired. I've been trying to get to sleep earlier but it hasn't helped much. Weekends help a little getting to sleep in but i stay up so late it kinda cancels it out. Grrr i'd be in bed now if i wasn't doing laundry.
Yesterday we went and picked up a free hot tub. it was a pain getting it here but hopefully putting all the parts together and getting it to work wont be too hard, just need time to try.
Also went back to the mortuary today, I got my dads cremains 2 weeks ago. But my half brother called last night wanting to know what i was going to do with them, he wants them so he can take care of them. So i went back to get a little keepsake urn for me so i can send him the other. I saw the bill while i was there, which i was wondering about since they hadn't told me anything. The total was $1,850, with 200 donated from the church. I asked the lady what was going on with the payment and she said it should all be payed by the Veterans. Theres a bunch of red tape and paperwork but hopefully in a few weeks it will be paid and I won't have to worry about it, thank goodness.
Last night i was looking through my old LJ posts and I found the one about the last time I talked to my dad. It was July of last year, reading it made me feel horrible about i let things be with him and I, i thought i was done crying over his death, but thats mostly because I've been ignoring it. I also got a message from his ex girlfriend who last year he basically told to leave him because she was too young to be with someone like him especially with his health and knowing he'd only live a few more years. I'm sure she heard something but i don't think she knows he's dead and I don't know how to tell her. She hasn't talked to him in a year, he'd cut her off just like me. So now i have to go through another awkward telling one of the few people who cared about him that he died. I'm too young for this, I hate going through this, he expected me to do everything with no guidance on what he wanted, or who to tell.
I wish he'd have let them call me the night before so i could have at least talked to him, there are so many things i wanted to say. I should have called on his birthday like i'd planned, maybe then i wouldn't feel so bad.
Yesterday we went and picked up a free hot tub. it was a pain getting it here but hopefully putting all the parts together and getting it to work wont be too hard, just need time to try.
Also went back to the mortuary today, I got my dads cremains 2 weeks ago. But my half brother called last night wanting to know what i was going to do with them, he wants them so he can take care of them. So i went back to get a little keepsake urn for me so i can send him the other. I saw the bill while i was there, which i was wondering about since they hadn't told me anything. The total was $1,850, with 200 donated from the church. I asked the lady what was going on with the payment and she said it should all be payed by the Veterans. Theres a bunch of red tape and paperwork but hopefully in a few weeks it will be paid and I won't have to worry about it, thank goodness.
Last night i was looking through my old LJ posts and I found the one about the last time I talked to my dad. It was July of last year, reading it made me feel horrible about i let things be with him and I, i thought i was done crying over his death, but thats mostly because I've been ignoring it. I also got a message from his ex girlfriend who last year he basically told to leave him because she was too young to be with someone like him especially with his health and knowing he'd only live a few more years. I'm sure she heard something but i don't think she knows he's dead and I don't know how to tell her. She hasn't talked to him in a year, he'd cut her off just like me. So now i have to go through another awkward telling one of the few people who cared about him that he died. I'm too young for this, I hate going through this, he expected me to do everything with no guidance on what he wanted, or who to tell.
I wish he'd have let them call me the night before so i could have at least talked to him, there are so many things i wanted to say. I should have called on his birthday like i'd planned, maybe then i wouldn't feel so bad.