Maybe he's not the one

Feb 13, 2012 05:38

Title: Maybe he's not the one
Author: leksi231
Pairing,Character(s): Rachel Berry/Santana Lopez friendship, mentions of Brittany Pierce and Finn Hudson
Rating: PG
Length: 2,788
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Santana is the one who helps Rachel with wedding planning; Pezberry week entry.

-

Rachel Berry was late. She didn’t know how or exactly why that was happening, but Santana’s constant angry texts now reached the number of twenty-six and she had to hurry up before she was killed; or even worse, permanently disjoined with her voice. Santana Lopez could do many things and she feared each and every one that was possible in this situation particularly. It was raining and she despised it, but the meeting was already set, she couldn’t just rearrange it for another time, even if she really, really wished that was possible. She was regretting her decision already and she couldn’t do anything about it.
So she just hurried up, making sure to come to the store before another text came. Santana was already glaring at her as she stepped into the shop and she had a sheepish look on her face as she closed the door painfully slowly. Approaching the Latin girl, she softly smiled and got only a shake of her head in return. Santana didn’t speak for a moment and then raised her finger, opened her mouth and closed it once again, thinking of what she was going to say. Rachel didn’t dare to speak at the moment.

“I was waiting for fourteen minutes,” Santana told her crossly, going to take a seat on a couch that the store offers. “I am not impressed. Why the hell are you so late, anyway? Cold feet, huh?” She asked, raising her hands and then shaking her head. “You better amaze me now or I’s be going,” she said, letting out a deep sigh and then finally letting Rachel speak. She’s annoyed, but she still wants to be there. After all, they didn’t spend the whole evening yesterday talking for nothing, this was the kind of thing that friends did, even if they didn’t get to be the bridesmaid.

Rachel took a deep breath as she closed her umbrella and put it away along with her jacket. “I am truly sorry, Santana, but, as you see, it’s raining outside and I barely managed to find my umbrella,” she said, putting her hand on her chest as she just now caught up with her breath once again since she entered the store.

“You’re picking out your wedding dress, for goodness sakes, is an umbrella really much more important than that?” Santana asked, though Rachel read her right away and just shook her head swiftly, readying herself to answer her quickly.

“I know that you’re not happy with my choice, Santana, but I am, so please respect that. You promised not to say anything about it, I’m counting on you to keep that promise,” Rachel said, glaring at Santana and then talking curtly with a shop assistant, explaining to her what kind of dress she was looking for. “I am marrying Finn, no matter what you or anyone have to say about that and if you’re not going to be here for me, then all I’m asking from you as to leave me alone and never mention this friendship fling to anyone.”

Santana stood up, crossing her arms across her chest and furrowing a brow at the diva. “So you can honestly tell me that you want to marry him, even if you’ll be in New York and he has no real chance of being there? You’re going to stand there and try to find a dress to wear on one of the most important days of your life that you’re going to spend with Finn Hudson, the guy who moved between you and Quinn as he wished and didn’t ever consider your feelings?”

What Rachel can honestly say now is that she expected this, really, but certainly not this early in the day. “Yes. Finn is the love of my life,” she said and Santana scoffed loudly, looking at her nails. “I am going to marry him. Many people our age are happily marrying each other and never growing apart. Your doubts are not justified, Santana. Finn is my boyfriend and I truly believe that he is the one. It’s simple, you can either support me or not. If you choose the latter option, I don’t need you here anymore.”

“First of all, what life? You’re not even eighteen yet,” Santana states, putting on her jacket swiftly and then continuing. “Second, many people are not you. You can deny it all you want, but you know deep down that that’s the truth, whether you like it or not. You have to think about these things, Rachel, don’t just say yes because you think he’s the only one for you; say yes because you believe in it. He’s not even there for you half of the time. You want to know what he was doing when you had to call me to come help you when your precious fish died? Playing games with Puckerman. And I know that for sure because I was ditched by Puck for Finnept.”

“No, he wasn’t,” Rachel refused to believe her, mostly because she knew that was probably the truth. She didn’t want to let go that simply, Santana couldn’t make her leave Finn now that she already accepted his proposal and was supposed to be picking out a dress. She didn’t need this now, mostly because she knew that Santana was right and she was just doing this to get a sense of security and love.

“Yes, he was. And finally, you can call me when this all comes through your thick skull and you accept it one day. Or when he breaks your heart and you get a divorce; whatever of those two comes first. I really hope it’s the first one, Rachel. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend the rest of this day with the girl that I’m sure is my past, present and future. Goodbye Rachel,” with that, Santana left her in the middle of the store and looking around. She still needed to find a dress, no matter what Santana said.

A month passes and the wedding date is coming up soon. They haven’t spoken in the meantime, but they both wanted to. Instead, they just spent their days separately, occasionally saying their hellos because Brittany makes Santana do it. Other than that, they don’t say absolutely anything to each other. They never say it aloud, but it’s different now that they’ve both gotten used to talking to each other and not actually ignoring or insulting one another. It’s kind of funny to others, because they have never been close, but no one says a single word about it all.

Santana is a mess. She would never admit it, but she is. Brittany knows it and she’s done anything she could to cheer her up but to no avail. Her days pass on a routine; school, cheerios, Brittany’s house. It’s been like that for the whole thirty days and she has no plan of stopping any time soon. She doesn’t drink like she normally would, but anyone with eyes could see that she actually misses Rachel hanging out with her, even if their friendship was relatively new to the whole school. She just doesn’t do friendships because she fears that the same will happen with everyone.

She wants to try and talk to Rachel, but then she changes her mind as quickly as she came up with the idea. Still, she continues to find ways to trip Finn and give them a reason to postpone their wedding. She doesn’t succeed, but she can always try again. She thinks that Rachel is onto her, but only smiles sweetly at her when the diva glares in her direction. She needs to find a way to do things more subtly. Until then, she can always continue with the tactic that she has now, even if it’s still not working out the way it should be.

Brittany doesn’t want it to last, however, so the blonde tries whatever she can now to stop this. Unfortunately for her, Santana doesn’t stop and poor Finn can’t even figure it out. Oh well, at least Rachel might see how stupid he actually is and change her mind about it. Santana doesn’t count on that, but it’s still a possibility when Brittany tells her one day. She just shrugs and murmurs something undecipherable before falling asleep. She dreams of a new tactic, but there is no way she could possibly ever convince coach to lend her the cannon she has.

So Santana doesn’t find a way as the wedding day is approaching and she can’t do anything to stop it. She got her invitation already, but she tore it apart the minute she saw it in her locker after Geometry class one day. Her girlfriend insists that they have to go together but Santana refuses to listen to her when she talks about it. She has to watch everyone in Glee excited for Finn and Rachel on daily basis and the nail file has never been more of a friend to her than on these days; at least she has something to do when she’s pretending not to care about anything they’re talking of.

Rachel doesn’t tell Finn what she and Santana are fighting about. She’s afraid that all it would do is hurt his feelings, most of the time. She can’t do that to him, not when they’re supposed to be happy about their impending marriage and future life together as a couple. It just frustrates her that she won’t have Santana by her side when she takes a big step in her life. Finn tries to find out what it’s about when he sees Rachel staring at the Latina, but she just ignores him like it’s nothing and goes onto another topic that isn’t related to her.

The other reason she isn’t telling him is that maybe, just maybe, she thinks that Santana’s words from a month ago are actually true and right. She can’t break his heart like that now. She’ll wait for the phase of doubting their engagement to pass and then tell him, probably. Most likely not, but it won’t be a big deal if she unintentionally tells him one day. She just can’t get the feeling that she’s the one that’s wrong out of her head for some reason and the constant going over Santana’s speech is starting to annoy her.

She watches Santana angrily tear the invitation apart at her locker and then passes by her, trying not to show that she’s quite hurt. She glances at her and hopes to gain eye contact but Santana is too involved in ripping the letter into the tiniest pieces possible and then she’s concentrated on throwing it all in the air like it’s confetti, to which Rachel only shakes her head and continues walking and not paying attention until she’s in a classroom. She pulls out her cell phone and opens a new message, only to close it promptly and put the mobile away again.

She’ll text her some other time, she has French to learn right now and maybe she needs to give Santana some time to forget about everything before trying. It absolutely has no connection with the fact that she might end up telling her that she was right and regretting the fact that she gave Finn a premature yes as an answer; none at all, really. She just needs to give her time now and that’s what she’ll do and maybe Brittany manages to help her someday, but definitely not yet or at least not today.

Rachel wants nothing more than to be friends with Santana again, but she knows that she can’t really go against herself in this particular situation and the other girl needs to come to her sooner or later. Santana wants the same thing, only she is too stubborn to approach Rachel right now after what she has told her. So they both wait as long as they can for the one that’s going to crack first. Habitually, it’s Rachel.

The diva is in the middle of trying to choose the flowers when Finn suggests gardenias over a text and she breaks down. She doesn’t know what to do and everything tells her to just forget her pride and just call Santana, even if there is a big chance that she won’t answer her even if she tries a couple of times. Somehow, she manages to find Santana’s phone number and somehow, the girl actually answers her phone.

“Uh, Santana speaking, who is it?” Rachel hears her talk and she guesses that she is tired from something, but she is far too busy to overanalyze the possibilities.

“S- San,” She manages to stutter out slowly and she can hear shifting around from the other side of the line. Santana is asking someone where her shirt is and oh God, Rachel just got it now; she’s with Brittany and she interrupted them. If it were possible, she would feel much more awful that she does now.

“You’re home, right? I’m going to be there in… I’m going to be there soon,” Santana tells her quickly, consulting with Brittany quietly as Rachel finds her voice again and answers.

“Yeah, uh huh,” Rachel answers and the line goes black and she is left alone on her bed.

Santana can’t put into words how grateful she is that Brittany is her girlfriend. The blonde knows right away what must have happened and Santana telling her just confirmed her suspicions. She lets Santana go as soon as possible and doesn’t even get the slightest bit mad that Rachel interrupted their post-sex cuddling session. The Latina kisses her on the lips and says goodbye quickly, going out of the house.

She gets to Rachel’s house in record time and when she rings the doorbell it’s Hiram who answers her. He seems confused to see her but lets her in anyway and directs her to Rachel’s room promptly. She knocks politely but doesn’t wait for the response because she’s sure that she isn’t going to get it any time soon.

Santana doesn’t speak for a long moment after entering the room and sitting down on the edge of the bed. She doesn’t really need to, because Rachel says something that is muffled by the pillow that her head is on at the moment. The Latina waits patiently because she knows that something else will come soon.

“I can’t do this,” Rachel tells her after some time. She turns around, sitting up at one point and then putting her head in her hands. She sighs, not knowing what more to say to Santana and not even looking at her, assuming that she already has a smirk set on her face. That’s not right, though, because Santana is concentrated on helping her more than rubbing it in her nose that she was right before. She’s saving that for later, but Rachel doesn’t need to know that right now and Santana knows that very well.

“I know,” Santana simply says. She doesn’t say anything else; she just rubs Rachel’s back comfortingly and assures her that everything is going to be okay and that she’s too young to make mistakes. She even hugs Rachel carefully when she deems it necessary at one moment.

Kurt joins them later in the day and he can’t stay silent and tells Rachel that he’s glad that Santana was right and she wasn’t too stubborn to admit it on time. Rachel doesn’t say anything in response to that, but they all know that she is glad that that was the case, too.

Telling Finn is a hard thing to do, but Rachel handles it pretty well, mostly. Sure, there could be a far better place than a classroom full of kickable chairs, but everything is sorted out by the end of their talk. If by well could be filed a break up and some insults thrown around, that is. All in all, Rachel considers it a start of her new life; a more confident one, that’s for sure. She has to remember to thank Santana in her speech one day when she wins her first inevitable award as a Broadway starlet.
She doesn’t have anyone now, but that doesn’t mean that her friends aren’t enough at the moment. Sure, she may not have seen it before, but it’s good that she does now. She doesn’t need Finn to be an anchor from her past, as Quinn would say. She doesn’t need to drag him along when it is clear that it may not work out. Maybe one day she can find her own Santana, like Brittany had luck to find now; maybe then it’d be for sure.

-

fandom: glee, rating: pg, pairing: rachel/santana, length: 1000+

Previous post
Up