Deeper Meaning
Man, life has been such an experience lately, more than I can comprehend. I love that I am alive and I guess that is what I am feeling in this moment. I know it is so cliche and la-di-da-ish. But hey, life is life, you live it not matter who you are. And me, hey I decided along time ago when I was just a little thing that I would always have a smile on my face and a laugh in my heart.
I have so much to be thankful for right now. The well being of my Mother, and that her two surgeries went well. I thank god for the talents that he has bestowed on my little brother Sam, and the dedication of my loving Father in everything he does. For the great enthusiastic silliness of my little sister and the stern gentle words of my older brother. And even the patient strong heart of my beloved Tom. I am surrounded by such wonderful people in my life, and their strength shines more with everyday. I hope that they know through my actions and words that the mean the world to me.
I miss so many people right now. So many friends it feels like I am letting slip through my fingers. I tried so hard to keep in touch this summer, but it just felt like one more locked door kept closing in front of me. No matter how many times I get through, it would end up being a message and another let down. My apologies, on both behalf. The world, and its wonders sometimes blinds with its beauty, and wounds with its sharp sense of life and death. I just hope that everyone right now knows that there is more to life than just balancing your money to live another day, or getting that last book off the shelf before your classes start. Or to spend as much time to yourself gaining self gratification when you could easily share it with another and gain ten times more than you would alone. I know in my heart, I am going to make an honest effort to break out of my shell and really start to mold my personality into one that will not only benefit me but others around me too.
I guess I should give some shout outs. Since I really don't do this much I guess might as well. And before hand, if I leave anyone out, show me the love through a comment and I will show it right back. (bare with tired Jessica)
Family
Well I guess I should start with my mom. I know she doesn't read this, but I just wanted to say there is no one in this world who could ever love or care for me as much as this woman does. She has given me everything I own, and has been accredited for about everything I am today. I thank god so much that she is still on this earth and making me smile and laugh. She got through her surgery (which ended up to be two in the end) safely. She is not "out of the woods" yet, but she is doing very well. I don't know where I would be today without her and my dad. Oh! My dad, gosh, what a silly guy. Lets just say this, I can't go a day without hugging him at least once. He means the world to me and I am proud to say I am a daddy's girl. Always have been since birth and I will always be. His willing nature and endless sacrifices he makes daily humbles me to my knees. Thanks mom and dad, I love you more than I could ever express.
Sam. Man has this kid made me laugh since the day he was born. My dad would always say that I called him "my baby" due to how much time I spent with him. He said I even changed his diapers! Man I was a dedicated big sister. -laughs- But seriously, Sam has touched my life in more ways than he shall ever know. This kid may only be 17, but he is years ahead of his time in talent, mind, and heart. He can make your day flip from frowns to smiles and brownies. He is the kind of person you cry happy tears with and is someone who will never ever judge you no matter who you are. He inspires me to be me and mostly to love life and laugh, because its all about the fun!
Sydney. Crazy dysfunctional, but the sweetest prettiest thing on the block! -laughs- She is my stormy clouds that make way for the rainbow at the end of the day. She is my threshold checker on about everything...patience, anger, love...mostly patience. I mean that is what little sisters are for right? But seriously, she is the most beautiful person ever, and I really mean that. I hope that all my children inherit her genes in looks, because to me, its beauty that is from within and perfected without. I love you Syd!
Matt. I love him more than he shall ever know. I wish I could talk to him more freely, but I just can't seem to get into the right place at the right time with him. He is a hermit, but hey, I know that lifestyle way too well to put that as an excuse. He is the gentle loving concerned one, and I am glad he is a part of the family. He is by far one of the coolest people I have ever met, and am proud to call him my brother.
Tom. I know Tom is not technically my "family". But hey, he is damn near close. He is living in close proximity with everyone, and he has been a part of my heart ever since I met him. I can say this move has defiantly took a toll on both of us, mostly him. I know that this was a big step for him, and mostly all for me. I love him so much, and I guess recently I need to realize that I don't need a verbal reminder to know that love is there and real. My fears are all result of fear itself, and he is an amazing person that I am so blessed to have in my life. Time takes its wonderful course, and so in that I will open up my heart to him in time. Be patient hunny, I assure you this little 'goody-two-shoes' has a plethora of wonders hidden inside. I love you Tiger. -winks-
Friends!
Whendy. God, what a trial friendship, and one of the most fulfilling trial I have ever had the experience to have. I love her more than she will ever know(man I keep saying that alot...shows that I don't really tell people that alot...I will try to change that in time). She has made me worry like a puffy eyed parent and weep like a concerned friend, and laugh like a happy go lucky friend. She has touched my life with her personality and endless love that she always shows. I hope that her heart remains true to who she is, and not what the world expects of her. No matter what, I will be here for her, but as a friend always, true and faithful. However, like every friendship, sometimes there comes times of change that aren’t always easy, but be rest assured, I am still me, and will never stop loving her for her. I hope I get to talk to her soon!
Erica. I love you Erica! I just have to give a shout out to you, you have made me feel like the most beautiful and happy girl in the world. -laughs- Will you marry me?! Ha, yeah, how many times have you heard that from your friends...probably hundreds. But truly, you have this essence about you that is soo amazing, that you make anyone around you feel like they are the most precious thing on this world, and that your attention just exemplifies that. Thank you so much for your kind words and constant love that you always have given me. You will never know how much you have touched my life personally and how much you have changed it for the better. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Kelly, Nicola, and Zoe. The three girls that I have had the most contact with at college than anyone else. I doubt they will ever know that the times I spent with them were the most fun, and memorable I have ever had. I love them all so very much, and I hope and pray that moving to an apartment or going overseas to another place will not break the friendship that we all hold. I want to let each of them know that even though this quiet little girl may seem solitary, she spreads her wings most when around others. Thank you for letting me spread my wings, for without you I would have truly fallen. I love you all.
Lahoci. I know I haven't talked to you for quiet some time, and that you will probably not read this, but hey, just like my Mom, I do this because you mean something to me, no matter if the words never reach you. Like I said before, I really hoped that this summer I could have spent more time with my friends, but its just felt like they have been slipping through my fingers. Lahoci, I hope and pray every day that your life is wonderful and that your doing well. I hope that you know that your friendship has touched my life like no one else. You were a true friend, and in my heart I still value as that. I know busy lives consist of many trials and needs. And that you have had the time to get to know me in the beginning years as we first met, was very wonderful of you. Thank you for giving me so many countless nights of laughing till tears streamed down my face, or singing my lungs out, or singing me to sleep. No one has ever quite been like you in my life, and I am glad that I was able to experience it, even if for just a while. Thank you, and I hope to hear from you soon!
Heather, Janelle, Melissa, Nick, Kim,Jessica,Ben, Anthony, Sarah, Becca and countless other people that I know I missed, and I apologize! I love you all! Thank you so much for being my friend and thank you soo much for being the wonderful people you are. I want to just say that getting to know each and everyone one of you, no matter how little or how much, it has been so wonderful for me and I will charish each and everyone of your friendship dearly.
Well, that about raps up my post for today. Deeper meanings lay beneath these words, and I hope that they show through for each individual if they read this. Just know that there are very few things in life that last forever, and I intend to hold onto as many of those things as possible, including you!
Nighty night,
~Jessica (ZZZzzzZZzzZzzzZzzzzzz . . .)
I have so much to be thankful for right now. The well being of my Mother, and that her two surgeries went well. I thank god for the talents that he has bestowed on my little brother Sam, and the dedication of my loving Father in everything he does. For the great enthusiastic silliness of my little sister and the stern gentle words of my older brother. And even the patient strong heart of my beloved Tom. I am surrounded by such wonderful people in my life, and their strength shines more with everyday. I hope that they know through my actions and words that the mean the world to me.
I miss so many people right now. So many friends it feels like I am letting slip through my fingers. I tried so hard to keep in touch this summer, but it just felt like one more locked door kept closing in front of me. No matter how many times I get through, it would end up being a message and another let down. My apologies, on both behalf. The world, and its wonders sometimes blinds with its beauty, and wounds with its sharp sense of life and death. I just hope that everyone right now knows that there is more to life than just balancing your money to live another day, or getting that last book off the shelf before your classes start. Or to spend as much time to yourself gaining self gratification when you could easily share it with another and gain ten times more than you would alone. I know in my heart, I am going to make an honest effort to break out of my shell and really start to mold my personality into one that will not only benefit me but others around me too.
I guess I should give some shout outs. Since I really don't do this much I guess might as well. And before hand, if I leave anyone out, show me the love through a comment and I will show it right back. (bare with tired Jessica)
Family
Well I guess I should start with my mom. I know she doesn't read this, but I just wanted to say there is no one in this world who could ever love or care for me as much as this woman does. She has given me everything I own, and has been accredited for about everything I am today. I thank god so much that she is still on this earth and making me smile and laugh. She got through her surgery (which ended up to be two in the end) safely. She is not "out of the woods" yet, but she is doing very well. I don't know where I would be today without her and my dad. Oh! My dad, gosh, what a silly guy. Lets just say this, I can't go a day without hugging him at least once. He means the world to me and I am proud to say I am a daddy's girl. Always have been since birth and I will always be. His willing nature and endless sacrifices he makes daily humbles me to my knees. Thanks mom and dad, I love you more than I could ever express.
Sam. Man has this kid made me laugh since the day he was born. My dad would always say that I called him "my baby" due to how much time I spent with him. He said I even changed his diapers! Man I was a dedicated big sister. -laughs- But seriously, Sam has touched my life in more ways than he shall ever know. This kid may only be 17, but he is years ahead of his time in talent, mind, and heart. He can make your day flip from frowns to smiles and brownies. He is the kind of person you cry happy tears with and is someone who will never ever judge you no matter who you are. He inspires me to be me and mostly to love life and laugh, because its all about the fun!
Sydney. Crazy dysfunctional, but the sweetest prettiest thing on the block! -laughs- She is my stormy clouds that make way for the rainbow at the end of the day. She is my threshold checker on about everything...patience, anger, love...mostly patience. I mean that is what little sisters are for right? But seriously, she is the most beautiful person ever, and I really mean that. I hope that all my children inherit her genes in looks, because to me, its beauty that is from within and perfected without. I love you Syd!
Matt. I love him more than he shall ever know. I wish I could talk to him more freely, but I just can't seem to get into the right place at the right time with him. He is a hermit, but hey, I know that lifestyle way too well to put that as an excuse. He is the gentle loving concerned one, and I am glad he is a part of the family. He is by far one of the coolest people I have ever met, and am proud to call him my brother.
Tom. I know Tom is not technically my "family". But hey, he is damn near close. He is living in close proximity with everyone, and he has been a part of my heart ever since I met him. I can say this move has defiantly took a toll on both of us, mostly him. I know that this was a big step for him, and mostly all for me. I love him so much, and I guess recently I need to realize that I don't need a verbal reminder to know that love is there and real. My fears are all result of fear itself, and he is an amazing person that I am so blessed to have in my life. Time takes its wonderful course, and so in that I will open up my heart to him in time. Be patient hunny, I assure you this little 'goody-two-shoes' has a plethora of wonders hidden inside. I love you Tiger. -winks-
Friends!
Whendy. God, what a trial friendship, and one of the most fulfilling trial I have ever had the experience to have. I love her more than she will ever know(man I keep saying that alot...shows that I don't really tell people that alot...I will try to change that in time). She has made me worry like a puffy eyed parent and weep like a concerned friend, and laugh like a happy go lucky friend. She has touched my life with her personality and endless love that she always shows. I hope that her heart remains true to who she is, and not what the world expects of her. No matter what, I will be here for her, but as a friend always, true and faithful. However, like every friendship, sometimes there comes times of change that aren’t always easy, but be rest assured, I am still me, and will never stop loving her for her. I hope I get to talk to her soon!
Erica. I love you Erica! I just have to give a shout out to you, you have made me feel like the most beautiful and happy girl in the world. -laughs- Will you marry me?! Ha, yeah, how many times have you heard that from your friends...probably hundreds. But truly, you have this essence about you that is soo amazing, that you make anyone around you feel like they are the most precious thing on this world, and that your attention just exemplifies that. Thank you so much for your kind words and constant love that you always have given me. You will never know how much you have touched my life personally and how much you have changed it for the better. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Kelly, Nicola, and Zoe. The three girls that I have had the most contact with at college than anyone else. I doubt they will ever know that the times I spent with them were the most fun, and memorable I have ever had. I love them all so very much, and I hope and pray that moving to an apartment or going overseas to another place will not break the friendship that we all hold. I want to let each of them know that even though this quiet little girl may seem solitary, she spreads her wings most when around others. Thank you for letting me spread my wings, for without you I would have truly fallen. I love you all.
Lahoci. I know I haven't talked to you for quiet some time, and that you will probably not read this, but hey, just like my Mom, I do this because you mean something to me, no matter if the words never reach you. Like I said before, I really hoped that this summer I could have spent more time with my friends, but its just felt like they have been slipping through my fingers. Lahoci, I hope and pray every day that your life is wonderful and that your doing well. I hope that you know that your friendship has touched my life like no one else. You were a true friend, and in my heart I still value as that. I know busy lives consist of many trials and needs. And that you have had the time to get to know me in the beginning years as we first met, was very wonderful of you. Thank you for giving me so many countless nights of laughing till tears streamed down my face, or singing my lungs out, or singing me to sleep. No one has ever quite been like you in my life, and I am glad that I was able to experience it, even if for just a while. Thank you, and I hope to hear from you soon!
Heather, Janelle, Melissa, Nick, Kim,Jessica,Ben, Anthony, Sarah, Becca and countless other people that I know I missed, and I apologize! I love you all! Thank you so much for being my friend and thank you soo much for being the wonderful people you are. I want to just say that getting to know each and everyone one of you, no matter how little or how much, it has been so wonderful for me and I will charish each and everyone of your friendship dearly.
Well, that about raps up my post for today. Deeper meanings lay beneath these words, and I hope that they show through for each individual if they read this. Just know that there are very few things in life that last forever, and I intend to hold onto as many of those things as possible, including you!
Nighty night,
~Jessica (ZZZzzzZZzzZzzzZzzzzzz . . .)