(no subject)
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
yeah, i guess its just impossible for me to have an ACTUAL friend. haha. riiiiiiight. and i dunno what it is you actually told me, so i dunno what really would happen would every single person just leaves me in the dark because of something YOU think.
i HAD a decent attitude about all of this. despite the bullshit. breaking up is never good, or it wouldnt fucking happen. i tried to make the best of the situation and keep some sort of bond there, but fuck that. and i DO have that 'fuck you' attitude because if i didnt have it i'd let people like you walk all over for the rest of my life. and i'm tired of that.
i got people who do things for me now. and want to hang out with me BECAUSE OF WHO I AM, and not because i'm a fucking girl. i think that just pisses you off that GOD FORBID theres someone else who actually cares about me.
i really wanted to be adult about this but you keep making it impossible. i do not talk down on you one bit. and its bullshit that you go around doing just that. i'll tell you now, nothing you or anyone that you will EVER know will say will EVER bring me down. because i'm sick of the world tryin to make me out into someone else. i wanted some common ground, where we met halfway. theres no doing that. you have to feel like YOU finished it. because you cant tackle rejection and thats just the person you are.
this is the last time ill ever let anything you say invoke some kinda response at ALL. i tried to make it simple. but if you wanna bitch about being adolescent about it and then post all sorts of bullshit about how 'the last 235235 amount of your time was a waste'. then fuck you. because i don't care. my feelings are not hurt. and thats what surprises me most. you could say our whole relationship was a joke, but i STILL know the jokes on you.
i thought you knew me, but i was wrong. not disappointed, thats not the first time this has happened. but thanks to you i question everything anyone ever says to me. i doubt people. i keep them at arms length just incase i'll be disappointed. fuck that. i should not feel this way. i thought we had enough going that we could keep some sort of friendship going. you can never love someone too much to be their friend, if thats how you feel, we were never friends/you never loved me at all.
i know who i am, and the people around me everynight know who i am. and they know that i stick my neck out there no matter fucking WHO you are. and i let people get the best of me when i shouldnt. and im learning not to do that. these people wont leave me hanging like you did a lot of times. they are here for me every fucking time. theres no way you will ever make me feel alone.