An Eventful Life
Belated happy birthday Koyama Keiichiro! As usual, late greetings (⊇Λ⊆) I also didn't post anything on Tumblr this time (I haven't had posts since... Feb? (IMISSTUMBLRSOMUCH). I made a quick status on Facebook but it wasn't proper to be even considered a birthday post.
But I won something in regards to his birthday! In sg_paanas Koyama-themed giveaway, I unexpectedly scored the prize. Unexpected because I was doubting then if I should join the giveaway knowing the contest is Koyama-centered; I thought I might affect Koyapaanas IN CASE i win. But nothing hurts in trying. And nothing hurts in winning! Haha, you should know. You're a Tegoshi fan :p Unexpectedly, again, it wasn't really Tegoshi who inspired my entry in the contest. It was definitely the birthday boy himself, Koyama Keiichiro.
Koyama must have a happy, eventful life, especially nowadays. His anticipated concert-on-his-birthdate finally came true. He won the hearts of fans all over again in his recent 10,000-character interview. NEWS is on the roll this 2015, and his baby niece is indeed a great blessing. I'm so happy for riida who said "I'm enveloped in a feeling of happiness so amazing I couldn't even describe..." And just like this post, which, in the next paragraphs will be about the joys of my fandom and RL state, might be overwhelming to read, hence I'm prepping to make it coherent. Good luck 'bout that. LOL xD
It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore.
There were many turning points. As early as 2013 I already had a lingering thought of 'I wouldn't lose to life for my own sake, and because I want to prove that as a Tego fan I can fight like what he does'. But a more recent (and equally powerful) turning point was in mid-March, and was Tegoshi-related too*push mo yan Tegs! xD*. The big difference though, among all these turning points, this impelled me to act. Finally♪ (As joyous as the housewives singing Ariel 7.50)
How it happened: I spent the day lazing around, so when evening came I was super busy that I didn't catch up on the ItteQ episode aired that night.
Why it was a big deal: I anticipated that episode! I even had a flail-plan days ahead--which, obviously, didn't happen.
Where's the turning point: I cried, and came to question myself in a real furious manner. "If you didn't procrastinate, you would've watched it on time... That's your problem, always been your problem. Look how procrastination brought you up. You said you're a coward and you can't do things? No you aren't. You know you're brave. Your real problem is procrastination. It's the reason your grades flunked. Why you almost got kicked out. Why your prof never had trust in you. It's what your mom always stresses whenever she scolds you. It's what everyone notices. It is what will deprive you of everything you want; a career, Tegoshi, and all..."
^ Turned out, an intense self-talk is what I really needed.
That night I found a philosophy I knew I had to stick on to. I've got to accomplish things. Big or small. Always look for stuff to work; always look forward to make stuff work. Grab opportunities. Delay worries. Damn, I never said it would be easy. But since that turning point (and with the guide of a self-help book I've sought not too long after), I felt... more invincible. Perhaps the bravery was really within me. I just had to make it come out.
These past few weeks RL's topsy-turvy. Yes, bad things still happen. If I'm gonna count them the negatives might even outnumber the positives. In spite of, I've noticed that I'm barely crying now. I got a surer hold of myself! And motivations come easily to me now~
My hairstyle's changed, my way of interacting with people has improved. My temper was stabilized. I've gotten more industrious (naks!). For the first time I cooked a complicated dish without any help. My graphics, though I rarely make one these days, significally enhanced. I learned new songs and new genres. Aah, there are a lot more I could add (but my diary's here to catch the extra leaves). Most importantly, I feel like I am going into a clear direction. A talent handler discovered me and offered to manage me!
I will continue living my life, dear LJ, and I hope I could give you updates. :) Truthfully I have many fandom projects I have not yet completed or haven't even started, sorry for that ^.^ゞ You can check my FB though and see that I'm still very active in the fandom.
In fact I've made (or I am in the process of making) personal fandom projects like fanfics and music reviews and opinion posts, etc. You know, the usual Leya juggling everything EXCEPT edits and layouts because I barely use the desktop nowadays. T_T It's mostly the fanfics I place my joy on, having completed almost 5+ fics in a span of half a year! Two fics in a year was my norm back then. If not for my new closest friend in the fandom I wouldn't be inspired as much today. Though I have yet to decide whether to finish my music reviews, which I couldn't sense anything close to finishing. Now that I remember, I made a review of MR. WHITE short film review back in March; wait I'll post it here soon~
I'll end this post with my latest cover photo in FB. An edited biased screencap from one of Tegomass no Seishun DVD promotions! Who isn't exciteeeed, we'll finally watch them again after three years. To be honest I have very high expectations from this con because their 3rd tour, Tegomass no Mahou is my undisputed fave NEWS/Tegomass concert. I think you already know that, oh well. I don't expect TMnS to excede TMnM but at least I want to get a similar feeling from both of these cons.
Tsuki no Tomodachi, be my friend too~ ◇*(◆∨◆)*◇