the azn gene

[leitarded]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE CHINESE WHEN:

You always leave your shoes at the door.
yes.

You eat all meals in the kitchen.
yes.

You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
i thought everybody does...

You have a piano in your living room.
check.

You twirl your pen around your fingers.
i actually can't. i know, i suck.

Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
the truest thing i've ever heard.

You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.
i don't bring stuff, parents do though.

The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.
actually i have packets of mild sauce from taco bell since it's good on more that tacos.

Ditto for paper napkins.
but i actually use them.

Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
NO, in fact, i hafta do all that jack.

You don't use measuring cups.
suck it up, food is art, not chemistry.

You beat eggs with chopsticks.
never touched an eggbeater in my life.

You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
NO.

You have acquired a taste for bittermelon.
actually it's more like an obsession.

You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh.
not a shrimp lover, but that's how i eat em.

You never call your parents just to say hi.
in fact, i never call anyone (unless she's hot) just to say hi.

You always cook too much.
ehhhh... when i got the time.

Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air.
yea but it's not really "hot air". it just happens to be said the same way in chinese.

You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
correcto.

You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.
course.

You never discuss your love life with your parents.
somehow true. or atleast i try not to.

Your parents are never happy with your grades.
yea... but that's not totally thier fault...

Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
cuz i never go buy new ones.

You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
who doesn't?!

You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
yea but it adds up.

You never order sweet-n-sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a Chinese restaurant.
nasty shit.

You like to eat chicken feet.
i'm not going to comment on that.

You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
no, no i actually don't suck on fish heads or fins.

You look like you are eighteen.
it's more of the 18 yearolds looking like me.

You have more than five remotes in your house.
for more than five tv's.

Your dad washes his hair four times a day, or never at all.
he has none.

You have to read all your parents' mail written in English.
they make me check it first.

You hate eating cheese.
by itself. eww.

You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
chinese past times are making food, and then eating it.

You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions.
so? go ask jews if they celebrate chanukah.

You cut your own hair… or had someone in your family do it.
been to a shop only once. considered it too expensive.

You never drank milk after eating cherries.
thats the most fuckin random thing i've ever heard.

rar.

god what a waste of time. well... it was better than having to study for finals. ~ b lei