37 Weeks
37 weeks and, surprise, sick again. Last weekend was norovirus for the FIFTH time, and this weekend it's a godawful cold. I'm so done with illness and pregnancy.
My midwife is INSISTING on counseling and wants two sessions before I give birth, despite my protestations that I doubt I can get in two visits prior to delivery, and the fact that I can't afford it. She's even going to comp the cost of the visits toward placenta encapsulation since I said the only money I have is earmarked for those pills. I am kind of mad about this. I am basically being forced into an involuntary counseling relationship under duress and unspoken threats of no home birth. What the hell will two sessions in three weeks do to fix my lifetime of shit? I won't continue going, especially not while recovering from birth. It's a waste.
She's the first person of many who've tried in the course of my life who will probably succeed in getting me into counseling (outside of my childhood counseling).
I still need to get so much done. I'm completely overwhelmed. I want to start my leave early to avoid further illness and get shit done but I know I'd regret losing the extra time with the baby, so I'm forcing myself to keep working. I've decided, though, if I make it to 41 weeks again, I'm OUTTA THERE.
My MIL is unhappy about not being invited to the birth. She and hubs had a blowout a couple weekends ago about it, along with some other things. I found out last night that one of those things was my complaint that I always feel ignored and shunned when I go over there. I talk to her but rarely get replies. There have been times I'm mid conversation with her and she just walks away to talk to others. I was surprised last night by how much she engaged me. We actually got to talk for quite a bit of the night and it was refreshing. I just hope it was genuine and not a forced attempt hoping for birth inclusion. :/
I guess I better get back to the never ending laundry. I'm about to wash all of Abigail's baby clothes and suddenly I realize ... I have nowhere to put them. We are screwed.