(no subject)
OK!!!!!
So, I'm drunk!!! I've wanted to post some shite for some time but I've not been sure what to put! I Know this is "MY" livejournal. so I can put whateve I want. BUT, I'm not much of a journal person so again I'm somewhat at a loss!
I guess I've thought of this and this is what I'll put for now! some vagueness......most will prob be able to comprehend!
I'm in Love with someone that prob doesn't feel the same about me, but what am I supposed to do? YOU can't help who you fall for, it just happens. I'm Broke as a MotherFucker cause the F.O.C. is takin 60% of my paycheck for 30 days. I can barely afford to get to work. It doesn't help that my Alternator went out 2 days ago and that cost $129.00. I've been driving on the fucking mini wheel because I had a flat 2 weeks ago and I can't afford a new tire to replace it. I owe my Roomate $4500.00 for Rent and food, for allowing me to live where I do and such, and She hasn't asked me for anything. I Do whatever I Can for her and she knows I'll pay her back in some for or another but it still eats at me. When she was in Seattle I cleaned up the house, I've done ALL the yard work, And I've made plans to clean up other things but still, I feel guilty as fuck that I havn't been able to give her any money. I think(I hope) she realizes that I will do EVERYTHING i can to make up for the kindness that she has shown me. I just wish she would stop with the little guilt trips when she cooks food and I "forget" to say thank you. I feel shitty about what's going on im my life at the moment. I Miss my son terribly! I've seen him a few times now but recently I havn't had enough $ to get to work let alone drive 30+ miles to see him. I know he understands.....It's amazing how resiliant children are!! I miss him A LOT!! its only been a week. I miss some one Else(I"m sure a few can figure out who) even more and I'm not sure how to react or feel about that! I wish I could express these feeling and it would make a difference but fuck, I'm not sure what to say or do....ah well, I'll survive either way!
So, I'm drunk!!! I've wanted to post some shite for some time but I've not been sure what to put! I Know this is "MY" livejournal. so I can put whateve I want. BUT, I'm not much of a journal person so again I'm somewhat at a loss!
I guess I've thought of this and this is what I'll put for now! some vagueness......most will prob be able to comprehend!
I'm in Love with someone that prob doesn't feel the same about me, but what am I supposed to do? YOU can't help who you fall for, it just happens. I'm Broke as a MotherFucker cause the F.O.C. is takin 60% of my paycheck for 30 days. I can barely afford to get to work. It doesn't help that my Alternator went out 2 days ago and that cost $129.00. I've been driving on the fucking mini wheel because I had a flat 2 weeks ago and I can't afford a new tire to replace it. I owe my Roomate $4500.00 for Rent and food, for allowing me to live where I do and such, and She hasn't asked me for anything. I Do whatever I Can for her and she knows I'll pay her back in some for or another but it still eats at me. When she was in Seattle I cleaned up the house, I've done ALL the yard work, And I've made plans to clean up other things but still, I feel guilty as fuck that I havn't been able to give her any money. I think(I hope) she realizes that I will do EVERYTHING i can to make up for the kindness that she has shown me. I just wish she would stop with the little guilt trips when she cooks food and I "forget" to say thank you. I feel shitty about what's going on im my life at the moment. I Miss my son terribly! I've seen him a few times now but recently I havn't had enough $ to get to work let alone drive 30+ miles to see him. I know he understands.....It's amazing how resiliant children are!! I miss him A LOT!! its only been a week. I miss some one Else(I"m sure a few can figure out who) even more and I'm not sure how to react or feel about that! I wish I could express these feeling and it would make a difference but fuck, I'm not sure what to say or do....ah well, I'll survive either way!