Letting go
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the life that is waiting for us."
--Joseph Campbell
Let go or get dragged. Ultimately, I can change myself; that is about as far as it goes, although the ripple effect definitely filters further outwards. In a deeper sense, transforming myself transforms the world. That is why Buddha said: “When I was enlightened, all were enlightened, even the rocks and the trees.” Acceptance has its own transformative magic. Letting go means letting be, not throwing things away. Sometimes we may not know what to do. That is a good time to do nothing. When at a complete loss, some rely on a higher power for clarity, guidance, direction and await inspiration. This actually works.
Now and then, practice taking a sacred pause: breathe once and relax, calmly enjoying a moment of mindfulness and reflection before reacting -- this can dramatically increases the chances of making better choices and undertaking wiser actions. We simply have to remember to do so, again and again, until it becomes a new habit. I like to chant to myself the Buddhist slogan “Like a dream, like a fantasy, like an illusion,” when things seem claustrophobic.
Think to yourself, when something is bothering you or a disappointment arrives: how much will this matter to me next month, next year, ten years from now? Is it really a matter of life or death, as my emotional reaction seems to insist, or just ephemeral local weather conditions which will soon be replaced by other thoughts and feelings? We can’t control the wind, but we can learn how to sail better.
I like to remind myself to recite in my head Reinhold Niebuhr’s wise prayer: “May I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” If we cannot love and accept ourselves, how can we love and accept others? Carl Jung said: “The most terrifying thing in the world is to accept oneself totally.” What are we afraid of?
-- Lama Surya Das
so as to accept the life that is waiting for us."
--Joseph Campbell
Let go or get dragged. Ultimately, I can change myself; that is about as far as it goes, although the ripple effect definitely filters further outwards. In a deeper sense, transforming myself transforms the world. That is why Buddha said: “When I was enlightened, all were enlightened, even the rocks and the trees.” Acceptance has its own transformative magic. Letting go means letting be, not throwing things away. Sometimes we may not know what to do. That is a good time to do nothing. When at a complete loss, some rely on a higher power for clarity, guidance, direction and await inspiration. This actually works.
Now and then, practice taking a sacred pause: breathe once and relax, calmly enjoying a moment of mindfulness and reflection before reacting -- this can dramatically increases the chances of making better choices and undertaking wiser actions. We simply have to remember to do so, again and again, until it becomes a new habit. I like to chant to myself the Buddhist slogan “Like a dream, like a fantasy, like an illusion,” when things seem claustrophobic.
Think to yourself, when something is bothering you or a disappointment arrives: how much will this matter to me next month, next year, ten years from now? Is it really a matter of life or death, as my emotional reaction seems to insist, or just ephemeral local weather conditions which will soon be replaced by other thoughts and feelings? We can’t control the wind, but we can learn how to sail better.
I like to remind myself to recite in my head Reinhold Niebuhr’s wise prayer: “May I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” If we cannot love and accept ourselves, how can we love and accept others? Carl Jung said: “The most terrifying thing in the world is to accept oneself totally.” What are we afraid of?
-- Lama Surya Das