Instant depression brought on by ATOS/DWP
I this this may be a public post, which is something I never do.
I've been "on the sick" for depression and anxiety for 4-5years, I've improved a lot over that time, learned about how to handle my condition and what I can and cannot do. I'm not a scrounger and I haven't just been sat on my arse doing nothing. I've volunteered with local projects and events and been to college. All of these things have been done with a view to improving and maintaining my mental health, so that I can move forward and hope to cope with a move into work of some sort.
A fortnight ago I got a letter from the DWP, a letter I've been dreading for years. I'm in the next batch to be reassessed for the move from Incapacity Benefit(IB) to Employment and Support Allowance(ESA). I've seen a lot of my friends go through this process and how much it affects them. I've given a lot of thought to how I will deal with it and how it'll affect me. There has been a lot of discussion on the net about the fairness(or lack of) of the Work Capability Assessment(WCA) but I'm currently more concerned about how the process is going to directly affect my mental state.
Actually, it is already having an effect. Today I got an envelope from ATOS, I saw the return address and just flipped. I started crying and couldn't stop, was very close to having a full on panic attack. In that head-state, self-harm seems logical and I don't know how long I can resist the urge.
I really, really do not want to go through this process. Part of me is wondering if I could just ask them to put me on JSA, in the hopes that signing on and applying for jobs I can't/won't get would be less harmful. But I'd probably end up back here again in short order, so it'd be a temporary measure at best.
So, a list of things to be done
I've been "on the sick" for depression and anxiety for 4-5years, I've improved a lot over that time, learned about how to handle my condition and what I can and cannot do. I'm not a scrounger and I haven't just been sat on my arse doing nothing. I've volunteered with local projects and events and been to college. All of these things have been done with a view to improving and maintaining my mental health, so that I can move forward and hope to cope with a move into work of some sort.
A fortnight ago I got a letter from the DWP, a letter I've been dreading for years. I'm in the next batch to be reassessed for the move from Incapacity Benefit(IB) to Employment and Support Allowance(ESA). I've seen a lot of my friends go through this process and how much it affects them. I've given a lot of thought to how I will deal with it and how it'll affect me. There has been a lot of discussion on the net about the fairness(or lack of) of the Work Capability Assessment(WCA) but I'm currently more concerned about how the process is going to directly affect my mental state.
Actually, it is already having an effect. Today I got an envelope from ATOS, I saw the return address and just flipped. I started crying and couldn't stop, was very close to having a full on panic attack. In that head-state, self-harm seems logical and I don't know how long I can resist the urge.
I really, really do not want to go through this process. Part of me is wondering if I could just ask them to put me on JSA, in the hopes that signing on and applying for jobs I can't/won't get would be less harmful. But I'd probably end up back here again in short order, so it'd be a temporary measure at best.
So, a list of things to be done
- Fill in and return the form before Sept 19th.
- Step up my self care.
- Speak to Granton Information Centre about support and/or representation.
- Possibly write my MP, MSP, Cooncilors