Texas, Our Texas
Things I Love About Living in Texas:
1. The fact that there are only three seasons: So Hot I Am Melting (nine months of the year), Drizzle (two months - generally January and February), and Really Lovely Out! (one month total, but usually split to have two weeks sometime in March and two weeks sometime in November.)
2. How I look like a complete idiot the entire year, because when it's hot out I am carrying around a huge sweatshirt in order to stay warm in the buildings, while during Drizzle, when it actually gets a little chilly, the buildings are so warm I'm forced to wear summer clothes under a heavy winter coat.
3. The gigantic bugs. I'm not kidding.
4. The conservatives. It's not fair; I have to censor my anti-Shrub speeches when I go out in public or I might get lynched.
5. The fact that Shrub and Tom Delay are products of my state. And Tom Delay is the representative from the place I consider home (i.e. Sugar Land). And Tom Delay's daughter was in my debate class in high school. (Note to Tom Delay: You think this is a partisan sham? Three names. Ken Starr, Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton. It didn't even have anything to do with politics or leading the country. But apparently putting someone on trial for adultery is not partisan politics, while indicting someone for violating fundraising laws is. Bastard.)
6. Large winged insects.
7. How, if I ever make a stop in a small town, people look at me funny, as though they've never seen an Indian person before. Or perhaps it's that they've never seen someone who wasn't white before? Either way, I get funny looks. Especially when I start speaking. I don't know what language they expect me to use, but apparently it's not English. (Note to self: no more stops in small roadside towns when you drive to Houston)
8. TxDot. Motto: We like to tear up roads! (We're not so good at putting them back together again, though.) Roads should not be under construction for multiple years, people. Nor should they have large gaping holes.
9. OMG Hoppy Crickets.
10. Galveston beach. Where else can you swim in an oil slick?
11. The fact that if you drive across Texas, you will have driven across approximately one-third of the continental US. Seriously. Houston-El Paso is 900 miles.
12. The spiders that have taken it upon themselves to build webs in the closet where all my coats are. Just because my winter coats aren't in use right now doesn't mean that you can claim them for your own. And my destroying your webs does not give you the right to go running about my kitchen at 1:30 in the morning. The bug spray is out in the open on the counter top; fear it.
13. No matter how I leave my hair, it's guaranteed to be a mess. If I straighten it, the humidity attacks it and it becomes frizzy. If I leave it curly, the weather gets really dry and it gets frizzy. Either way, the result is frizz.
14. Mosquitoes. a.k.a. Flying Insects with Biting Thingies.
1. The fact that there are only three seasons: So Hot I Am Melting (nine months of the year), Drizzle (two months - generally January and February), and Really Lovely Out! (one month total, but usually split to have two weeks sometime in March and two weeks sometime in November.)
2. How I look like a complete idiot the entire year, because when it's hot out I am carrying around a huge sweatshirt in order to stay warm in the buildings, while during Drizzle, when it actually gets a little chilly, the buildings are so warm I'm forced to wear summer clothes under a heavy winter coat.
3. The gigantic bugs. I'm not kidding.
4. The conservatives. It's not fair; I have to censor my anti-Shrub speeches when I go out in public or I might get lynched.
5. The fact that Shrub and Tom Delay are products of my state. And Tom Delay is the representative from the place I consider home (i.e. Sugar Land). And Tom Delay's daughter was in my debate class in high school. (Note to Tom Delay: You think this is a partisan sham? Three names. Ken Starr, Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton. It didn't even have anything to do with politics or leading the country. But apparently putting someone on trial for adultery is not partisan politics, while indicting someone for violating fundraising laws is. Bastard.)
6. Large winged insects.
7. How, if I ever make a stop in a small town, people look at me funny, as though they've never seen an Indian person before. Or perhaps it's that they've never seen someone who wasn't white before? Either way, I get funny looks. Especially when I start speaking. I don't know what language they expect me to use, but apparently it's not English. (Note to self: no more stops in small roadside towns when you drive to Houston)
8. TxDot. Motto: We like to tear up roads! (We're not so good at putting them back together again, though.) Roads should not be under construction for multiple years, people. Nor should they have large gaping holes.
9. OMG Hoppy Crickets.
10. Galveston beach. Where else can you swim in an oil slick?
11. The fact that if you drive across Texas, you will have driven across approximately one-third of the continental US. Seriously. Houston-El Paso is 900 miles.
12. The spiders that have taken it upon themselves to build webs in the closet where all my coats are. Just because my winter coats aren't in use right now doesn't mean that you can claim them for your own. And my destroying your webs does not give you the right to go running about my kitchen at 1:30 in the morning. The bug spray is out in the open on the counter top; fear it.
13. No matter how I leave my hair, it's guaranteed to be a mess. If I straighten it, the humidity attacks it and it becomes frizzy. If I leave it curly, the weather gets really dry and it gets frizzy. Either way, the result is frizz.
14. Mosquitoes. a.k.a. Flying Insects with Biting Thingies.