「oo1」・・・Fanfiction→Alone;
Title: Alone
Chapters: oneshot
Author: leikochan14
Genre: angst
Warnings: not beta-read.
Disclaimer:Do not own them, and i never will.
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: AoixRuki, RukixUruha.
Synopsis: “I left him once I saw them like that. I didn’t know why I did that, I guess maybe I did it to save face, or rather to save myself from the horrible thought of him being the one to leave me.”
Comments: did it on Halloween night since I didn’t go anywhere (I have no life ne). it's in Aoi-san's POV. this is my first jrock fic, but if people like this i might write more.
Anger. That’s what I felt then. When I saw him with Uruha. With that bastard. That scheming guitarist. The one that always had his eyes on my lover. Yes, my lover. Ruki. That’s his name. My lover’s name is Ruki.
Wait.
Correction: my lover’s name was Ruki.
Does that mean we’re not together anymore? Why, yes it does.
I don’t know why I loved him; maybe…maybe it was his charming smile, his great sense of style, his poetic way of being, his caring attitude, his gentleness, his powerful aura.
Whatever it was, is now gone.
Snatched away in a flash of a second when two soft pairs of soft lips (Yes, Ruki’s and Uruha’s lips are both rather soft. Don’t ask how I know about the latter’s lips. I just do.) met each other in a desperate and longing kiss.
I saw the whole thing unfold from even before Ruki became my lover. The on-stage fan service was already a big hint, but then they started….they started to “practice” their fan service off-stage, sometimes even during regular rehearsal.
When I started dating him, I got annoyed with the entire deal of practicing their fan service. Sometimes, I would confront Ruki and he would tell me that he and Uruha were just practicing to make it seem more real when their next concert came up.
Just practicing?
What kind of an idiot does he think I am?
But I of course would have that doubt wiped from my mind when I was with him, late at night, long after rehearsal was finished, when it was just the two of us. Both of us, lying in bed, him wrapped in my arms, his warm breath hitting my chest that was moving up and down rapidly as we recovered from sex.
“Aoi,” his voice, a whisper. “I love you.”
At that moment, I honestly believed he did. I did. And what’s worse is I said I loved him as well, more than once in fact.
Maybe that’s why he left. Maybe he didn’t like me saying it so often and believed I lied to him about my feelings thinking I was just saying that because I had said it once and he liked it. Or maybe it was because he didn’t love me and knew that I truly did. Maybe that’s why he left: to spare his feelings or my own.
I don’t know. I want to ask, to know, so that I can be able to sleep in peace with that knowledge.
But I won’t dare myself to ask him. No. Even if late at night I’m tossing and turning, then wake up only to see that he is not there anymore…
I left him once I saw them like that. I didn’t know why I did that, I guess maybe I did it to save face, or rather to save myself from the horrible thought of him being the one to leave me.
I don’t know. I don’t know.
Please, can’t someone explain this all to me? To make this make sense to me? To help put my mind at ease again?
I’m alone in bed again, tonight as I was last night, as I will be forever more for I can’t be with anyone but Ruki. It doesn’t feel right. I never will feel right without him.
Ruki.
Even now, as I can probably imagine Ruki is with Uruha, I want him back. I want him with me.
Too bad I can’t have everything I want.
ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ
these words just flowed through my head one night and wouldn't leave me until i wrote them. so, i'm sorry for the horrible writing.
feel free to comment or criticize~♥
Chapters: oneshot
Author: leikochan14
Genre: angst
Warnings: not beta-read.
Disclaimer:Do not own them, and i never will.
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: AoixRuki, RukixUruha.
Synopsis: “I left him once I saw them like that. I didn’t know why I did that, I guess maybe I did it to save face, or rather to save myself from the horrible thought of him being the one to leave me.”
Comments: did it on Halloween night since I didn’t go anywhere (I have no life ne). it's in Aoi-san's POV. this is my first jrock fic, but if people like this i might write more.
Anger. That’s what I felt then. When I saw him with Uruha. With that bastard. That scheming guitarist. The one that always had his eyes on my lover. Yes, my lover. Ruki. That’s his name. My lover’s name is Ruki.
Wait.
Correction: my lover’s name was Ruki.
Does that mean we’re not together anymore? Why, yes it does.
I don’t know why I loved him; maybe…maybe it was his charming smile, his great sense of style, his poetic way of being, his caring attitude, his gentleness, his powerful aura.
Whatever it was, is now gone.
Snatched away in a flash of a second when two soft pairs of soft lips (Yes, Ruki’s and Uruha’s lips are both rather soft. Don’t ask how I know about the latter’s lips. I just do.) met each other in a desperate and longing kiss.
I saw the whole thing unfold from even before Ruki became my lover. The on-stage fan service was already a big hint, but then they started….they started to “practice” their fan service off-stage, sometimes even during regular rehearsal.
When I started dating him, I got annoyed with the entire deal of practicing their fan service. Sometimes, I would confront Ruki and he would tell me that he and Uruha were just practicing to make it seem more real when their next concert came up.
Just practicing?
What kind of an idiot does he think I am?
But I of course would have that doubt wiped from my mind when I was with him, late at night, long after rehearsal was finished, when it was just the two of us. Both of us, lying in bed, him wrapped in my arms, his warm breath hitting my chest that was moving up and down rapidly as we recovered from sex.
“Aoi,” his voice, a whisper. “I love you.”
At that moment, I honestly believed he did. I did. And what’s worse is I said I loved him as well, more than once in fact.
Maybe that’s why he left. Maybe he didn’t like me saying it so often and believed I lied to him about my feelings thinking I was just saying that because I had said it once and he liked it. Or maybe it was because he didn’t love me and knew that I truly did. Maybe that’s why he left: to spare his feelings or my own.
I don’t know. I want to ask, to know, so that I can be able to sleep in peace with that knowledge.
But I won’t dare myself to ask him. No. Even if late at night I’m tossing and turning, then wake up only to see that he is not there anymore…
I left him once I saw them like that. I didn’t know why I did that, I guess maybe I did it to save face, or rather to save myself from the horrible thought of him being the one to leave me.
I don’t know. I don’t know.
Please, can’t someone explain this all to me? To make this make sense to me? To help put my mind at ease again?
I’m alone in bed again, tonight as I was last night, as I will be forever more for I can’t be with anyone but Ruki. It doesn’t feel right. I never will feel right without him.
Ruki.
Even now, as I can probably imagine Ruki is with Uruha, I want him back. I want him with me.
Too bad I can’t have everything I want.
ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ
these words just flowed through my head one night and wouldn't leave me until i wrote them. so, i'm sorry for the horrible writing.
feel free to comment or criticize~♥