(no subject)
"i look down at the blade, the blade looks back at me. you can't blame them for this, oh well, slit, slit, slit. They drink away their pain, I bleed away all mine." ~MLW
"silence, something about silence makes me sick, because silence can be violent, sorta like a slit wrist." ~ZDLR
in my opinoin those are two good sayings, quotes, poems, whatever you want to call them. the first is from a friend of mine, she wrote it in another friends journal but i changed it a little bit, the other i took off of a website promoting the band of some kids from my school. what can i say, they are the BEST AND EXACT way to describe what i'm feeling right now. i feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into nothingness. these last few weeks i find myself alone, not by choice but b/c it seems that everyone has become too busy for me. i hear the voices of people, my friends and family, echo in my head, they speak of my failures and my other general screw ups. Everyday i find something else to mess up. my dad tells me that basically, i'm lazy and useless, despite the fact that i spend half of my day at school, and most of the rest of it i spend cleaning the house he does nothing to clean. no i take that back, he does one thing to help clean the house, he tells me what i need to clean. my older sister tells me that in her eyes i'm not good enough, for what i'm not sure, maybe i'm not good enough to BE. i'm not good enough b/c i don't look like a barbie doll everyday as i leave for school, i didn't know that i had to be beautiful to get an education. mike says i'm too good for him, but i think i wasn't good enough, b/c if i was good enough i would have known better, i would have known what to do, what to say, but i didn't and that's one more thing i've lost. I talked to mike last night (8/16) he apologized for leaving me and said that he stopped being mad at me five minutes after he left but he was too stubborn to come back and too stubborn to call. he said that he wont try to get back together with me b/c he knows that he'll just hurt me some way some how and he feels i deserve better than that. lastly i see my best friend slowly fading away, it's nothing she's doing intentionally, i know her better than that, but i only see her at school, and we've only got 1 class and lunch together, so while i do see her it's not that often. she comes over on most wednesday nights, but they're usually so busy. she spends most of her weekends at home, with her boyfriend, they're so happy together and they're very much in love, so it's understandable. i feel my self slowly slipping away into the nothingness that i've come to know so well. what do i have left? a few fading memories and some pictures to remember what life was like, before i lost everything i loved.
"silence, something about silence makes me sick because silence can be violent sorta like a slit wrist" ~ZDLR
"I look down at the blade, the blade looks back at me. You can't blame them for this, Oh well, slit, slit, slit. they drink away their pain, i bleed away all mine.
"silence, something about silence makes me sick, because silence can be violent, sorta like a slit wrist." ~ZDLR
in my opinoin those are two good sayings, quotes, poems, whatever you want to call them. the first is from a friend of mine, she wrote it in another friends journal but i changed it a little bit, the other i took off of a website promoting the band of some kids from my school. what can i say, they are the BEST AND EXACT way to describe what i'm feeling right now. i feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into nothingness. these last few weeks i find myself alone, not by choice but b/c it seems that everyone has become too busy for me. i hear the voices of people, my friends and family, echo in my head, they speak of my failures and my other general screw ups. Everyday i find something else to mess up. my dad tells me that basically, i'm lazy and useless, despite the fact that i spend half of my day at school, and most of the rest of it i spend cleaning the house he does nothing to clean. no i take that back, he does one thing to help clean the house, he tells me what i need to clean. my older sister tells me that in her eyes i'm not good enough, for what i'm not sure, maybe i'm not good enough to BE. i'm not good enough b/c i don't look like a barbie doll everyday as i leave for school, i didn't know that i had to be beautiful to get an education. mike says i'm too good for him, but i think i wasn't good enough, b/c if i was good enough i would have known better, i would have known what to do, what to say, but i didn't and that's one more thing i've lost. I talked to mike last night (8/16) he apologized for leaving me and said that he stopped being mad at me five minutes after he left but he was too stubborn to come back and too stubborn to call. he said that he wont try to get back together with me b/c he knows that he'll just hurt me some way some how and he feels i deserve better than that. lastly i see my best friend slowly fading away, it's nothing she's doing intentionally, i know her better than that, but i only see her at school, and we've only got 1 class and lunch together, so while i do see her it's not that often. she comes over on most wednesday nights, but they're usually so busy. she spends most of her weekends at home, with her boyfriend, they're so happy together and they're very much in love, so it's understandable. i feel my self slowly slipping away into the nothingness that i've come to know so well. what do i have left? a few fading memories and some pictures to remember what life was like, before i lost everything i loved.
"silence, something about silence makes me sick because silence can be violent sorta like a slit wrist" ~ZDLR
"I look down at the blade, the blade looks back at me. You can't blame them for this, Oh well, slit, slit, slit. they drink away their pain, i bleed away all mine.