Merry Christmas
Dear LJ,
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I cannot believe that this time of year has rolled around again but it has and I wish i could say I couldn't be happier but you know whatever... I am pretty happy today :) I got more or less every material thing I wanted for Christmas which was fabulous :). I cannot wait to go shopping armed with my gift cards, in my new clothes, carrying my new purse :) haha. I sound slightly shallow but whatever.
Last night I had the opportunity to see myself in the most honest light ever. I was so tired and exhausted that every emotion was so raw and exposed and if I'd been around anyone but myself, anyone could see how vulnerable I was. But to get to the point, I realized that no matter how much I want to forget recent things or not so recent feelings, I can't just erase them no matter how hard I try. I'm not usually religious but I think that God may be able to help me get through this incredibly confusing time. I cannot be completely honest with anyone until I'm honest with myself. I'd like to bury everything that I'm not happy with but I can't and yes this REALLY bothers me. I've tried for too long to hide behind lies to my friends and to myself that I think I honestly may be forgetting that the whole situation is my own problem.
Ok so this is kind of a side note but I was reading some of my friend's livejournal entries and I think there are still some unresolved issues that I don't get? If anyone wants to explain this to a nosy person like me... feel free lol. But then again I understand if it's personal business.
so that's all for now. Merry Christmas again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Leigh
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I cannot believe that this time of year has rolled around again but it has and I wish i could say I couldn't be happier but you know whatever... I am pretty happy today :) I got more or less every material thing I wanted for Christmas which was fabulous :). I cannot wait to go shopping armed with my gift cards, in my new clothes, carrying my new purse :) haha. I sound slightly shallow but whatever.
Last night I had the opportunity to see myself in the most honest light ever. I was so tired and exhausted that every emotion was so raw and exposed and if I'd been around anyone but myself, anyone could see how vulnerable I was. But to get to the point, I realized that no matter how much I want to forget recent things or not so recent feelings, I can't just erase them no matter how hard I try. I'm not usually religious but I think that God may be able to help me get through this incredibly confusing time. I cannot be completely honest with anyone until I'm honest with myself. I'd like to bury everything that I'm not happy with but I can't and yes this REALLY bothers me. I've tried for too long to hide behind lies to my friends and to myself that I think I honestly may be forgetting that the whole situation is my own problem.
Ok so this is kind of a side note but I was reading some of my friend's livejournal entries and I think there are still some unresolved issues that I don't get? If anyone wants to explain this to a nosy person like me... feel free lol. But then again I understand if it's personal business.
so that's all for now. Merry Christmas again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Leigh