Back to December
Title: Back to December
Author: leighabelle
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jalex
POV: Third
Summary: "This song is my way of apologizing for being an ass. Sorry I'm not as much of a hot blonde as the original singer."
Disclaimer: You know I don't own anything. I'm just a psychotic person who has nothing better to do with her life other than creating fake scenarios in her head.
Author's Notes: Should I be working on my story that I haven't updated since March? Yes. Am I? No. I really like the way this turned out for the most part. I'm iffy about the ending but I hope you guys enjoy it. Love you all.
“Okay, as I'm sure many of you know by this point, that after I play 'Remembering Sunday' I say some stupid shit and then play 'Therapy'.” Alex said into his microphone. It was just him on the stage, sitting on a wooden stool, with his acoustic guitar in his lap. “Well, lucky you, for one night only I'm switching shit up.” Alex smiled as the audience cheered back at him. “I have a question first. How many of you guys have been a total dick to someone that means a lot to you?” The crowd yelled, once again, letting Alex know he wasn't alone. He just continued to smile as he spoke again. “This song is my way of apologizing for being an ass. Sorry I'm not as much of a hot blonde as the original singer.” After that, he started to play the beginning of the song.
He was nervous, to say the least. The only person that knew he was doing this was Flyzik. The rest of the band was standing side stage, looking confused as hell. Jack walked over to their tour manager before speaking, “What the fuck is he doing?”
“Just pay attention, will you?” Matt said, glancing in the younger boy's direction before looking back out onto the stage, biting his lip ring and hoping this worked for Alex. He was tired of the stress this problem was putting on everyone. Jack rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest and turned his attention to the singer on stage as he sang the first words to the song.
“I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me, how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while.” Alex sang and the crowd screamed some more before singing along to the lyrics. The singer's eyes slipped closed as he continued to sing the words, hoping that somewhere backstage the most important person in the world was listening.
Jack walked onto the bus to see that for the first time in awhile, Alex was actually here and not off wandering around whatever city they happened to be in, flirting with girls. He scoffed as he watched the singer carry on a conversation with Vinny and Rian. “Well isn't this shocking. Alex is actually here.”
Alex stopped talking to look over at the younger boy standing in front of the closed bus door. “Fuck off, Jack.”
Vinny and Rian exchanged a glance, feeling uneasy about being in the middle of the couple's fight. Jack rolled his eyes, sitting down on the couch across from the three boys. “No. Why don't you go off and find some cheap whore to fuck?”
“Can we not do this now? I'm not in the mood to argue with you.”
“Seriously, Alex?” Jack asked, leaning forward in his seat as he stared down the older boy. “How do I know when I'll be able to talk to you next? You're never fucking around!”
“I am too!” Alex raised his voice back. Rian and Vinny subtly stood up and made their way to the back lounge, not wanting to listen to that.
“Yeah, when show time rolls around. Excuse me if I'd like to talk to my boyfriend every once in awhile. Or did you forget that you were in a relationship?”
“Dammit, Jack. You're so clingy.” Alex rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat. That comment only made Jack's blood boil.
“Alex, I don't have enough time around you to be clingy! I wish I could put you in my position and see how it feels to watch the person who says they care about you, go off with a different chick every fucking day.”
Alex didn't say anything for a minute, just sat back and absorbed Jack's words. “I do care about you. It's just... I think-”
“What, Alex?” Jack scoffed.
“I think we should break up.” Alex twisted his fingers together as he looked up at the other boy. Jack's face fell. He let his anger slip away as Alex's words sunk into his mind.
“B-break up?” Jack repeated, still sitting there and thinking about everything. Unfortunately for Alex, the more Jack thought about it, the more pissed he got. “You think that after eight months, we should break up?”
Alex bit his lip and nodded his head. “I just don't think it's fair for you to be with me when I'm not fully involved in this relationship anymore.”
“You decide to end it after you've been doing this to me since the tour started three weeks ago? Yes, thank you for being fair.” Jack shook his head as he stood up. “I sure hope all those girls love you as much as I did.”
It pained Alex to think back to how he treated Jack. He was a complete asshole and he really doesn't deserve Jack back, but that doesn't mean he's not going to try. He did his best to not think about this and just sing the song. “Realized I loved you in the fall. And then the cold came, the dark days when the fear crept into my mind. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.”
Jack didn't want to listen to Alex sing this song. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and walk away until the rest of the band had to go back onstage. But he didn't. He kept his eyes glued to the older boy and the emotion behind the lyrics.
“Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming.” Alex looked to his left where he knew the guys would be standing. He saw Jack standing right next to Flyzik. He locked eyes with the younger boy as he sang the next words. “But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right. I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't.” Alex broke the gaze and looked back out at the audience that was singing along with him. Looking into Jack's eyes just brought back all the pain he knew he'd caused him. “So if the chain is on your door I understand.”
After Jack and Alex broke up, the older boy loved the freedom he had. He could go out and do anything he wanted without having to feel guilty about leaving Jack behind. Sure, half of the crew did everything they could to avoid having a conversation with Alex, and if they did it only had to do with the show that night. He just figured Jack had told them his side of the story before he had a chance, therefore making him look like the bad guy. He didn't mind, though. No matter what anyone else thought, he still got to do whatever the fuck he wanted.
The most difficult thing he had to face was the shows. Matt had made it very clear that regardless of what happened, they had to do their best to not show it onstage. The last thing they needed was for the fans to pick up on the fact that Jack could not stand to even look at Alex, let alone joke with him every night. So, to please everyone involved, they acted normal onstage. Though, majority of the things Jack said to Alex during the show were insulting and degrading. The fans didn't think anything of it, considering they had insulted each other before. It was just more frequent now.
Once the band left the stage, it was a completely different atmosphere. Jack would go in the opposite direction of Alex wherever they were. If Alex went left, Jack went right. Alex just shrugged his shoulders and went about his usual routine of going to the bar and getting absolutely wasted. After a week and a half of Alex coming back to the bus drunk every night, the only person that would carry on an actual conversation with him was Matt, and sometimes a drunk Vinny.
After a few weeks of this, it began to take its toll on Alex. Normally, he didn't give a fuck what people thought about him, but truth be told, he missed his friends. He was tired of the crew just turning their backs on him, even if they were trying to be subtle about it. And as much as he hated to admit it, he missed Jack. He stopped drinking after every show and just stuck with going to his bunk and watching a movie before falling asleep. He was becoming very isolated and antisocial real quick. That's when Matt decided enough was enough and stepped in to try and help fix things.
“Alex, this is getting way out of hand. You need to talk to him.” Matt said, pulling Alex aside one day as they were nearing the end of the tour. “The tour is over in a week and we go overseas in two.”
“What am I supposed to say to him, huh?” Alex asked. “'Hey, I know I was a dick and dumped you but I decided that I was wrong and I want to get back together.' I'm sure that'll go over great with him.”
“I don't know. All I do know is that this thing is affecting everyone, not just you two. So, I need you, the problem creator, to be the problem solver.”
“Thanks, bro. Way to make me feel better.” Alex rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall behind him.
“Look, I just want you to try. He may not come back to you with open arms, but at least put yourself out there and apologize. If you're not gonna do it for yourself, then do it for the fans.” Matt knew if he brought up the fans, he would be more likely to persuade the older boy.
“Fine.” Alex gave in with a sigh. “I'll think of a plan of attack and get back to you.”
Matt smiled as he got what he wanted. His smile faltered, though, when he looked at Alex's face. “Don't be so pessimistic, things might go better than you expect. You never know.” And with that, the tour manager walked away and left Alex to his thoughts.
“But this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I go back to December. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I go back to December, turn around and make it alright. I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.” Alex pulled back from the mic and let the crowd sing the last line of the song. “I go back to December all the time.”
Alex was feeling a mix of emotions as he sat on the stool with the crowd cheering and screaming up at him. He wanted nothing more than to leave the stage and go hide out in his bunk for the rest of forever. But he couldn't. He just had to keep reminding himself that they only had three songs left. And then he could hide in his bunk. He put a fake smile on his face as he leaned into the microphone and stood up. “Okay, enough of this sad shit. Let's get you people off your feet.”
Alex pulled off his acoustic guitar and handed it to Danny. The tech handed him his green guitar as the rest of the band made their way onstage. Alex avoided looking up and to his right because he could feel Jack's eyes on him and he did not want to look at the younger boy right now because knowing his luck, he would just break down and start crying and begging to be taken back in front of all these kids and he's sure nobody wanted to see that.
He survived the last three songs and at the end of 'Dear Maria', after he said, “We've been All Time Low, and you've been fucking amazing. Until next time.” he was off the stage. He grabbed a water bottle and continue power walking to the bus, already tweeting that he wasn't up to hanging outside, using vocal rest as his excuse. Again. All his thoughts were focused on stripping out of his sweat drenched clothes and into some shorts before curling up under his blankets, but Matt had other plans. Alex was so focused on how fast he was walking, that he completely missed the older man standing in his way and ran directly into him, nearly making them both fall.
“The fuck?” Alex asked until he saw it was Matt and then he just tried to walk around him.
“Where do you think you're going?” Matt asked as he blocked Alex's path.
“To the bus.” Alex said slowly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“No, you're not. You have something else to deal with.”
“Matt, I apologized. What more do you want me to do?” Alex pleaded with the tour manager.
“Make things right.” Flyzik said as he opened the door on his left and pushed Alex inside before shutting it.
Alex had stumbled into the room, muttering a 'Goddamn Matt trying to be the goddamn peacemaker all the goddamn time' before he looked up and noticed a very quiet, confused, and possibly annoyed, Jack sitting on the couch across the room. The older boy froze as he watched him and that's when it clicked. Matt was forcing them to talk. He turned around and tried to push the door open but something was blocking it on the other side. Alex glared at the door handle and started pounding on the door. “Matthew Flyzik, open this fucking door up. Now.”
“Not gonna happen, Alex. Not until you talk, at least.” he heard the man's muffled voice from the other side.
“When I get out of here I'm going to-”
“Yeah, yeah. You're going to chop my dick off and shove it down my throat. Your threats don't phase me. Now talk.” And that was it. The tour manager didn't say another word and the door was not opening.
Alex groaned quietly, turning around to look at the younger boy who was just staring at him with a blank face. Alex lifted his hand and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Um, hi?”
Jack just rolled his as he looked off to his right. “You put him up to this?”
“Why would I tell Matt to lock me in a room with someone who hates me? No, I didn't tell him to do this.” Alex crossed his arms as he sat in a chair that was on the opposite side of the room from the couch.
Jack didn't argue with what Alex said. He knew it wasn't his idea, but he still wanted to blame him for their imprisonment. “What about the song? Did Matt make you sing it?”
Alex shook his head, looking down. “My idea.”
They sat in silence for a good five minutes, taking in each other's presence. Other than being onstage, this had been the longest that they've been around each other since they broke up. Neither one of them wanted to be here, not wanting to face the inevitable conversation to come. Alex took his chance and glanced over at the younger boy and watched as he picked at his nails. Alex took a deep breath and decided he might as well talk since they're stuck in here.
“I really am sorry.” he mumbled, Jack barely able to hear him.
“Yeah, well, sorry doesn't fix things, Alex.” Jack scoffed.
“Don't you think I know that?” Alex asked. “I don't know what you want me to do, though.”
Jack narrowed his eyes. “I don't want you to do anything. What I want is to be let out of this room.”
“Well, that's not going to fucking happen so you might as well talk to me.” Alex said, getting irritated at everything as the moments passed.
“Still the same fucking asshole.” Jack laughed, then put on his mock sincere face. “I don't want to talk to you too much. Wouldn't want to come across as, what was it? Oh, right. Clingy.”
“Jack, I didn't mean that.” Alex groaned, tossing his head back. He let his eyes slipped closed, just letting the silence engulf them.
“Then what exactly did you mean? Because I'm pretty sure you weren't thanking me for still staying with you. Ignoring how you never even acknowledged my existence anymore. Defending you when the others would talk about you going out all the time. I should have been the one to dum-”
“Yes, I know, I'm an asshole! I get it.” Alex shouted, standing up and pulling at his hair. “I'm sorry. I know it doesn't change anything and you don't want to hear it, but I am. I am so fucking sorry for everything I did. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I wish I was there for you and that I didn't leave. I wish I wouldn't have been such a dumb ass and realized how great you are. There's a lot of things I should have done, and I didn't. All I can do right now is tell you that I really fucking miss you and I want to be-”
“Don't. Just don't finish that sentence, please.” Jack closed his eyes as he held up his hand. “I know what you're going to say and we both know that if you say it, there's no way I'm going to walk away from you.”
Alex watched as the younger boy opened his eyes again and dropped his hand in his lap. Alex tilted his head to the side. “What's wrong with that?”
“I don't want to get back together with you just to have the same thing happen again. I'm not going to do this on again, off again shit like you and Lisa did. I can't do that.” Jack said, mumbling the last part. “I love you too much to watch you break up with me more than once.”
“It wouldn't be, I swear.” Alex said, walking towards Jack and sitting down on the coffee table in front of him. “I love you more than anything and I was too fucking stupid to realize it before. You're it, Jack. You're all I want. No one else could possibly come close to meaning what you do to me.”
Jack avoided looking at Alex, looking at everything else in the room but him. “How many times did you tell that to Lisa?”
“I didn't, Jack.” Alex bit his lip as he stared at the boy's hand that was resting on his thigh before just going for it. He held Jack's hand in his own, hoping the boy didn't pull away, which for the moment he didn't. “She was just convenience. It was always you. Even before we were together, it was you. Hell, it was probably you back in high school. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Jack, and I was an idiot to let you go.”
They sat there in silence, once again. Alex held Jack's hand, rubbing small circles into the backside with his thumb. Jack looked down at their hands, biting his lip as he thought about everything Alex said, debating on what to do. Eventually, he twisted his hand around in Alex's as he slid his hand up, slipping his fingers into the spaces between the older boy's.
“Dammit Alex, why do you do this to me?” Alex lifted his head as his face broke out into an unsure smile.
“Really?” Alex asked and Jack nodded his head. The moment Alex was forced into the room, Jack knew there was really no way he was leaving here without getting back together with him. “I swear I won't fuck up this time.”
Jack nodded his head. “But if you do, I'm done. I'm not doing it again, Alex.”
“It's not gonna happen again.” Alex said as he stood up, pulling Jack to his feet as well. He was a little hesitant but the younger boy gave his hand a subtle pull in his direction and that had Alex wrapping his arms tight around him. Alex buried his face into his chest as he felt Jack's arms around his shoulders. “I missed you, Jack.”
Jack tilted his head down, taking in the smell of Alex's hair. Even if it was damp with sweat, it still smelled exactly like him and Jack would be lying if he said he hadn't missed it. “I missed you. The real you, not the douchebag you.”
Alex smiled and nodded his head. “Yeah, I miss that me, too.” He lifted his head up from the younger boy's chest. “Come on. I dunno about you, but I'm ready to kick Matt's ass.” Alex pulled on Jack's hand and led him over to the door, trying to open it to find it still not budging. “Flyzik, open the door. Now.”
“Have you-”
“We all know you were eavesdropping throughout that entire conversation. Unless you want Alex to do worse than chop your dick off, open the goddamn door.” Jack said and within five seconds, the door was opening. They stepped out of the room and saw Matt standing across the hall, biting his lip.
“If you ever lock me in a room against my will again, I will make all your worst nightmares come true. Got that?” Alex asked, staring down the tour manager. Matt just nodded his head without saying anything, causing the couple to laugh as they walked off until they found the rest of the crew.
Evan looked up from whatever it was he was doing and frowned. “Does this mean I can't be a dick to Alex now?” The others laughed as Alex flipped the tech off.
Author: leighabelle
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jalex
POV: Third
Summary: "This song is my way of apologizing for being an ass. Sorry I'm not as much of a hot blonde as the original singer."
Disclaimer: You know I don't own anything. I'm just a psychotic person who has nothing better to do with her life other than creating fake scenarios in her head.
Author's Notes: Should I be working on my story that I haven't updated since March? Yes. Am I? No. I really like the way this turned out for the most part. I'm iffy about the ending but I hope you guys enjoy it. Love you all.
“Okay, as I'm sure many of you know by this point, that after I play 'Remembering Sunday' I say some stupid shit and then play 'Therapy'.” Alex said into his microphone. It was just him on the stage, sitting on a wooden stool, with his acoustic guitar in his lap. “Well, lucky you, for one night only I'm switching shit up.” Alex smiled as the audience cheered back at him. “I have a question first. How many of you guys have been a total dick to someone that means a lot to you?” The crowd yelled, once again, letting Alex know he wasn't alone. He just continued to smile as he spoke again. “This song is my way of apologizing for being an ass. Sorry I'm not as much of a hot blonde as the original singer.” After that, he started to play the beginning of the song.
He was nervous, to say the least. The only person that knew he was doing this was Flyzik. The rest of the band was standing side stage, looking confused as hell. Jack walked over to their tour manager before speaking, “What the fuck is he doing?”
“Just pay attention, will you?” Matt said, glancing in the younger boy's direction before looking back out onto the stage, biting his lip ring and hoping this worked for Alex. He was tired of the stress this problem was putting on everyone. Jack rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest and turned his attention to the singer on stage as he sang the first words to the song.
“I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me, how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while.” Alex sang and the crowd screamed some more before singing along to the lyrics. The singer's eyes slipped closed as he continued to sing the words, hoping that somewhere backstage the most important person in the world was listening.
Jack walked onto the bus to see that for the first time in awhile, Alex was actually here and not off wandering around whatever city they happened to be in, flirting with girls. He scoffed as he watched the singer carry on a conversation with Vinny and Rian. “Well isn't this shocking. Alex is actually here.”
Alex stopped talking to look over at the younger boy standing in front of the closed bus door. “Fuck off, Jack.”
Vinny and Rian exchanged a glance, feeling uneasy about being in the middle of the couple's fight. Jack rolled his eyes, sitting down on the couch across from the three boys. “No. Why don't you go off and find some cheap whore to fuck?”
“Can we not do this now? I'm not in the mood to argue with you.”
“Seriously, Alex?” Jack asked, leaning forward in his seat as he stared down the older boy. “How do I know when I'll be able to talk to you next? You're never fucking around!”
“I am too!” Alex raised his voice back. Rian and Vinny subtly stood up and made their way to the back lounge, not wanting to listen to that.
“Yeah, when show time rolls around. Excuse me if I'd like to talk to my boyfriend every once in awhile. Or did you forget that you were in a relationship?”
“Dammit, Jack. You're so clingy.” Alex rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat. That comment only made Jack's blood boil.
“Alex, I don't have enough time around you to be clingy! I wish I could put you in my position and see how it feels to watch the person who says they care about you, go off with a different chick every fucking day.”
Alex didn't say anything for a minute, just sat back and absorbed Jack's words. “I do care about you. It's just... I think-”
“What, Alex?” Jack scoffed.
“I think we should break up.” Alex twisted his fingers together as he looked up at the other boy. Jack's face fell. He let his anger slip away as Alex's words sunk into his mind.
“B-break up?” Jack repeated, still sitting there and thinking about everything. Unfortunately for Alex, the more Jack thought about it, the more pissed he got. “You think that after eight months, we should break up?”
Alex bit his lip and nodded his head. “I just don't think it's fair for you to be with me when I'm not fully involved in this relationship anymore.”
“You decide to end it after you've been doing this to me since the tour started three weeks ago? Yes, thank you for being fair.” Jack shook his head as he stood up. “I sure hope all those girls love you as much as I did.”
It pained Alex to think back to how he treated Jack. He was a complete asshole and he really doesn't deserve Jack back, but that doesn't mean he's not going to try. He did his best to not think about this and just sing the song. “Realized I loved you in the fall. And then the cold came, the dark days when the fear crept into my mind. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.”
Jack didn't want to listen to Alex sing this song. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and walk away until the rest of the band had to go back onstage. But he didn't. He kept his eyes glued to the older boy and the emotion behind the lyrics.
“Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming.” Alex looked to his left where he knew the guys would be standing. He saw Jack standing right next to Flyzik. He locked eyes with the younger boy as he sang the next words. “But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right. I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't.” Alex broke the gaze and looked back out at the audience that was singing along with him. Looking into Jack's eyes just brought back all the pain he knew he'd caused him. “So if the chain is on your door I understand.”
After Jack and Alex broke up, the older boy loved the freedom he had. He could go out and do anything he wanted without having to feel guilty about leaving Jack behind. Sure, half of the crew did everything they could to avoid having a conversation with Alex, and if they did it only had to do with the show that night. He just figured Jack had told them his side of the story before he had a chance, therefore making him look like the bad guy. He didn't mind, though. No matter what anyone else thought, he still got to do whatever the fuck he wanted.
The most difficult thing he had to face was the shows. Matt had made it very clear that regardless of what happened, they had to do their best to not show it onstage. The last thing they needed was for the fans to pick up on the fact that Jack could not stand to even look at Alex, let alone joke with him every night. So, to please everyone involved, they acted normal onstage. Though, majority of the things Jack said to Alex during the show were insulting and degrading. The fans didn't think anything of it, considering they had insulted each other before. It was just more frequent now.
Once the band left the stage, it was a completely different atmosphere. Jack would go in the opposite direction of Alex wherever they were. If Alex went left, Jack went right. Alex just shrugged his shoulders and went about his usual routine of going to the bar and getting absolutely wasted. After a week and a half of Alex coming back to the bus drunk every night, the only person that would carry on an actual conversation with him was Matt, and sometimes a drunk Vinny.
After a few weeks of this, it began to take its toll on Alex. Normally, he didn't give a fuck what people thought about him, but truth be told, he missed his friends. He was tired of the crew just turning their backs on him, even if they were trying to be subtle about it. And as much as he hated to admit it, he missed Jack. He stopped drinking after every show and just stuck with going to his bunk and watching a movie before falling asleep. He was becoming very isolated and antisocial real quick. That's when Matt decided enough was enough and stepped in to try and help fix things.
“Alex, this is getting way out of hand. You need to talk to him.” Matt said, pulling Alex aside one day as they were nearing the end of the tour. “The tour is over in a week and we go overseas in two.”
“What am I supposed to say to him, huh?” Alex asked. “'Hey, I know I was a dick and dumped you but I decided that I was wrong and I want to get back together.' I'm sure that'll go over great with him.”
“I don't know. All I do know is that this thing is affecting everyone, not just you two. So, I need you, the problem creator, to be the problem solver.”
“Thanks, bro. Way to make me feel better.” Alex rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall behind him.
“Look, I just want you to try. He may not come back to you with open arms, but at least put yourself out there and apologize. If you're not gonna do it for yourself, then do it for the fans.” Matt knew if he brought up the fans, he would be more likely to persuade the older boy.
“Fine.” Alex gave in with a sigh. “I'll think of a plan of attack and get back to you.”
Matt smiled as he got what he wanted. His smile faltered, though, when he looked at Alex's face. “Don't be so pessimistic, things might go better than you expect. You never know.” And with that, the tour manager walked away and left Alex to his thoughts.
“But this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I go back to December. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I go back to December, turn around and make it alright. I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.” Alex pulled back from the mic and let the crowd sing the last line of the song. “I go back to December all the time.”
Alex was feeling a mix of emotions as he sat on the stool with the crowd cheering and screaming up at him. He wanted nothing more than to leave the stage and go hide out in his bunk for the rest of forever. But he couldn't. He just had to keep reminding himself that they only had three songs left. And then he could hide in his bunk. He put a fake smile on his face as he leaned into the microphone and stood up. “Okay, enough of this sad shit. Let's get you people off your feet.”
Alex pulled off his acoustic guitar and handed it to Danny. The tech handed him his green guitar as the rest of the band made their way onstage. Alex avoided looking up and to his right because he could feel Jack's eyes on him and he did not want to look at the younger boy right now because knowing his luck, he would just break down and start crying and begging to be taken back in front of all these kids and he's sure nobody wanted to see that.
He survived the last three songs and at the end of 'Dear Maria', after he said, “We've been All Time Low, and you've been fucking amazing. Until next time.” he was off the stage. He grabbed a water bottle and continue power walking to the bus, already tweeting that he wasn't up to hanging outside, using vocal rest as his excuse. Again. All his thoughts were focused on stripping out of his sweat drenched clothes and into some shorts before curling up under his blankets, but Matt had other plans. Alex was so focused on how fast he was walking, that he completely missed the older man standing in his way and ran directly into him, nearly making them both fall.
“The fuck?” Alex asked until he saw it was Matt and then he just tried to walk around him.
“Where do you think you're going?” Matt asked as he blocked Alex's path.
“To the bus.” Alex said slowly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“No, you're not. You have something else to deal with.”
“Matt, I apologized. What more do you want me to do?” Alex pleaded with the tour manager.
“Make things right.” Flyzik said as he opened the door on his left and pushed Alex inside before shutting it.
Alex had stumbled into the room, muttering a 'Goddamn Matt trying to be the goddamn peacemaker all the goddamn time' before he looked up and noticed a very quiet, confused, and possibly annoyed, Jack sitting on the couch across the room. The older boy froze as he watched him and that's when it clicked. Matt was forcing them to talk. He turned around and tried to push the door open but something was blocking it on the other side. Alex glared at the door handle and started pounding on the door. “Matthew Flyzik, open this fucking door up. Now.”
“Not gonna happen, Alex. Not until you talk, at least.” he heard the man's muffled voice from the other side.
“When I get out of here I'm going to-”
“Yeah, yeah. You're going to chop my dick off and shove it down my throat. Your threats don't phase me. Now talk.” And that was it. The tour manager didn't say another word and the door was not opening.
Alex groaned quietly, turning around to look at the younger boy who was just staring at him with a blank face. Alex lifted his hand and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Um, hi?”
Jack just rolled his as he looked off to his right. “You put him up to this?”
“Why would I tell Matt to lock me in a room with someone who hates me? No, I didn't tell him to do this.” Alex crossed his arms as he sat in a chair that was on the opposite side of the room from the couch.
Jack didn't argue with what Alex said. He knew it wasn't his idea, but he still wanted to blame him for their imprisonment. “What about the song? Did Matt make you sing it?”
Alex shook his head, looking down. “My idea.”
They sat in silence for a good five minutes, taking in each other's presence. Other than being onstage, this had been the longest that they've been around each other since they broke up. Neither one of them wanted to be here, not wanting to face the inevitable conversation to come. Alex took his chance and glanced over at the younger boy and watched as he picked at his nails. Alex took a deep breath and decided he might as well talk since they're stuck in here.
“I really am sorry.” he mumbled, Jack barely able to hear him.
“Yeah, well, sorry doesn't fix things, Alex.” Jack scoffed.
“Don't you think I know that?” Alex asked. “I don't know what you want me to do, though.”
Jack narrowed his eyes. “I don't want you to do anything. What I want is to be let out of this room.”
“Well, that's not going to fucking happen so you might as well talk to me.” Alex said, getting irritated at everything as the moments passed.
“Still the same fucking asshole.” Jack laughed, then put on his mock sincere face. “I don't want to talk to you too much. Wouldn't want to come across as, what was it? Oh, right. Clingy.”
“Jack, I didn't mean that.” Alex groaned, tossing his head back. He let his eyes slipped closed, just letting the silence engulf them.
“Then what exactly did you mean? Because I'm pretty sure you weren't thanking me for still staying with you. Ignoring how you never even acknowledged my existence anymore. Defending you when the others would talk about you going out all the time. I should have been the one to dum-”
“Yes, I know, I'm an asshole! I get it.” Alex shouted, standing up and pulling at his hair. “I'm sorry. I know it doesn't change anything and you don't want to hear it, but I am. I am so fucking sorry for everything I did. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I wish I was there for you and that I didn't leave. I wish I wouldn't have been such a dumb ass and realized how great you are. There's a lot of things I should have done, and I didn't. All I can do right now is tell you that I really fucking miss you and I want to be-”
“Don't. Just don't finish that sentence, please.” Jack closed his eyes as he held up his hand. “I know what you're going to say and we both know that if you say it, there's no way I'm going to walk away from you.”
Alex watched as the younger boy opened his eyes again and dropped his hand in his lap. Alex tilted his head to the side. “What's wrong with that?”
“I don't want to get back together with you just to have the same thing happen again. I'm not going to do this on again, off again shit like you and Lisa did. I can't do that.” Jack said, mumbling the last part. “I love you too much to watch you break up with me more than once.”
“It wouldn't be, I swear.” Alex said, walking towards Jack and sitting down on the coffee table in front of him. “I love you more than anything and I was too fucking stupid to realize it before. You're it, Jack. You're all I want. No one else could possibly come close to meaning what you do to me.”
Jack avoided looking at Alex, looking at everything else in the room but him. “How many times did you tell that to Lisa?”
“I didn't, Jack.” Alex bit his lip as he stared at the boy's hand that was resting on his thigh before just going for it. He held Jack's hand in his own, hoping the boy didn't pull away, which for the moment he didn't. “She was just convenience. It was always you. Even before we were together, it was you. Hell, it was probably you back in high school. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Jack, and I was an idiot to let you go.”
They sat there in silence, once again. Alex held Jack's hand, rubbing small circles into the backside with his thumb. Jack looked down at their hands, biting his lip as he thought about everything Alex said, debating on what to do. Eventually, he twisted his hand around in Alex's as he slid his hand up, slipping his fingers into the spaces between the older boy's.
“Dammit Alex, why do you do this to me?” Alex lifted his head as his face broke out into an unsure smile.
“Really?” Alex asked and Jack nodded his head. The moment Alex was forced into the room, Jack knew there was really no way he was leaving here without getting back together with him. “I swear I won't fuck up this time.”
Jack nodded his head. “But if you do, I'm done. I'm not doing it again, Alex.”
“It's not gonna happen again.” Alex said as he stood up, pulling Jack to his feet as well. He was a little hesitant but the younger boy gave his hand a subtle pull in his direction and that had Alex wrapping his arms tight around him. Alex buried his face into his chest as he felt Jack's arms around his shoulders. “I missed you, Jack.”
Jack tilted his head down, taking in the smell of Alex's hair. Even if it was damp with sweat, it still smelled exactly like him and Jack would be lying if he said he hadn't missed it. “I missed you. The real you, not the douchebag you.”
Alex smiled and nodded his head. “Yeah, I miss that me, too.” He lifted his head up from the younger boy's chest. “Come on. I dunno about you, but I'm ready to kick Matt's ass.” Alex pulled on Jack's hand and led him over to the door, trying to open it to find it still not budging. “Flyzik, open the door. Now.”
“Have you-”
“We all know you were eavesdropping throughout that entire conversation. Unless you want Alex to do worse than chop your dick off, open the goddamn door.” Jack said and within five seconds, the door was opening. They stepped out of the room and saw Matt standing across the hall, biting his lip.
“If you ever lock me in a room against my will again, I will make all your worst nightmares come true. Got that?” Alex asked, staring down the tour manager. Matt just nodded his head without saying anything, causing the couple to laugh as they walked off until they found the rest of the crew.
Evan looked up from whatever it was he was doing and frowned. “Does this mean I can't be a dick to Alex now?” The others laughed as Alex flipped the tech off.