****ARGH****

[leigh57]

So. I have spent the entire day dealing with an incredibly sick kid (I will spare you any more details than that) and watching pretty much every terrifying made-for-the-tween-set movie that's been released in the last uh, decade? Spy Kids? The Drake and Josh movie? The Garfield movie? Saw 'em. (Although Robert Patrick is just hot, even in Spy Kids

Comments

[sparkles_mouse]

Porn battle scares me. It's like endless fics of nothing but skank. I'm like ...

Which kid? S or N? I hope he feels better soon!!!

[leigh57]

Porn battle is scary as fuck, not gonna lie. But it's also kinda awesome and hilarious, and I think it's fun to try to write something that's JUST porny. Not that I have actually achieved this? Ahahahahaha. But the idea is in theory a good one I think. And as paladin24 said below, it's hilarious to see what people come up with for prompts. It will definitely serve to make you see how impoverished your own imagination is;)

S. He was so sick, argh, and now I'm just like ugh blah are the rest of us going to get it too? At least he's feeling better, although of course he's home from school today, which means another day of being exposed to some of the worst TV programming ever created.

[sparkles_mouse]

I think there were like 15 porn stories last week and now that this has started I'm like Oh Jesus, I can't even imagine. I'm actually terrified to see the amount of stuff that is going to be produced over the next week. Maybe this makes me lame but sometimes I prefer ACTUAL stories, lol. I can't write them, though. I have enough trouble doing it in one-shots, let alone JUST porn. I leave it to the pros.

Oh God, I hope none of you get it. I know that's probably wishful thinking, but still. At least he's feeling a bit better today though. Make him watch Fantastic Mr. Fox. Mmmm Clooney.

[leigh57]

Oh, I prefer actual stories myself, believe me. I'm saying that in a strange way it's a challenge, like the 100 word drabbles. Can I write something that basically doesn't have a plot? So far the answer is no, although I've written plenty of porn. But it's always in the context of something bigger. I tried Porn Battle once and like, yeah it was so funny.

Ugh, given my exposure yesterday I can't imagine that I'm not next, but I'll hope for the best and live through it no matter what. I'm not one to look on the bright side in these matters, but for some reason kids almost always get stomach viruses in the middle of the night, and at least this started in the daytime! Geez.

I wish I could get the twerp to watch Tangled. I should just make him.

[sparkles_mouse]

YES. I can't write just straight porn without plot. The other thing is, when I was in SVU I wrote a lot of stories that had sex. I didn't read a lot so I was like okay, whatever. There are good sex writers, but I'll suffer through this and do mine. But then I didn't write for so long that I forgot how to write that crap and in Castle, omg, people write it SO WELL. Like there is a group of maybe 3-4 girls who must be wildcats in bed because they are dirty and hot and I'm just like UH NO THANKS. I'll stay in my corner and write a cheesy love story.

Just make him watch it. You're the mom.

[leigh57]

I'm so envious of you for having a fandom where people who are not you actually write things. For the most part, if I want something, I have to write it myself or commission it from A. I mean I get lucky (no pun intended, per the content of this conversational thread) every now and then, but overall that's how it works.

I agree that sex is one of the hardest things to do well. I'm more one of those people who likes the mostly subtle, maybe with a couple WOAH lines mixed in there for flavor. But it's so hard to write sex that's even readable. And then it's always like, from whose POV? What's the tone? How tab A slot B are we here? HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS CAN YOU WRITE A PENIS GOING INTO A VAGINA?

Ahahahaha. I am so like, ludicrous today. Even moreso than usual. I'm approaching delirium from being housebound.

[sparkles_mouse]

Sometimes - and this sounds terrible - I wish people wrote less. Right now I am addicted to reading but I also think all the reading has made me not write my own because it's that constant, Why bother, they're so much better and it really does put a damper on the writing. But there's this one girl who I think last week alone wrote 4 porn stories and they were all different and sexy and I...am baffled. Because I just cannot do it. It's always hot and always somehow a different position or whatever and I'm like you, seriously with the how many ways does a penis go in? I mean COME ON. So for the moment, fic and I are done. The good thing about writing a script is that Castle and Beckett aren't having sex on TV yet. When writing a script for them I consider this a giant win.