Fic: yes the heart should always go one step too far

[leigh57]

title: yes the heart should always go one step too far
word count: 499
disclaimer: By now, you guys all know that my mind on Jack and Renee is the poor egg on drugs (work with me). 'Nuf said.
warnings: show spoilers, references to suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This is for you, ws_scribe, with Christmas love and wishes for deployment that's as good as it

Comments

[lauridsen09]

I miss your old layout.

Also, hi. *waves*

I feel like we need to set up a prayer circle or burn some incense something so LJ will get its life together.

[leigh57]

I miss my old layout too, like . . . in a really ridiculous way. I'm not lying when I say that really, I changed it only to give myself something to look forward to when my favorite season is over. I LOVE THAT LAYOUT SO MUCH. Also, giggling that in two of the three comments here, it's like, "Where is your old layout?"

Hi! *waves back*

Oh LJ. The thing that makes me so sad is that I know their tech people work their butts off. It's just all the assholes in the world who have this relentless desire to screw it up. Meh.

[lauridsen09]

Oh, I agree. I feel badly for the LJ tech peeps for sure, it's just been so much downtime the past few months.

[leigh57]

Sometimes I wonder if it's just me who's like, "Wait, is it actually going down every couple days?" I do feel as if the outages are generally becoming shorter. *knocks so much wood*

But yeah, it's frustrating, especially when you're super OCD like me and hate having stuff in your inbox to which you haven't replied. I'm like, DUDE, I JUST NEED TO COMMENT RESPOND. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? /freak

[sparkles_mouse]

I'm supposed to be researching for 100 words but this seems better. And I don't work so yeah.

A walking checklist of therapist-pleasing perfection. - I love this line.

It’s pathetic as fuck and she knows it, but she can’t think of a single reason to smile.- Renee-Nay!!! Someone needs a unicorn this Christmas!

His voice feels like a fresh-from-the-dryer down comforter after you’ve been standing in a blizzard wearing shorts and a t-shirt. - I have so much love for this sentence I can't stand it.

Mmmm Jack. Sometimes you get me addicted to things I never asked for. Love you.

[leigh57]

Nay-Nay totally needs a unicorn! I get guilty for writing her like this every now and then, like I'm betraying my inner feminist, but 1) I love her so hard it doesn't matter how she is and 2) it's canon, so whatever.

And aw, thanks so much for commenting on specific stuff you like. I know I'm sacrificing quality for quantity when I try to post this much stuff so quickly (and I also know I'll eventually fall behind), but anyway. It is what it is!

I'm so proud when I get you addicted to things you didn't ask for;) Love you, too.

[sparkles_mouse]

You should be proud. Also, one of my clients looks so much like Annie. It freaks me out.

[leigh57]

Which client? I mean would I know this person at all? There's a girl at the high school here who looks exactly like Anna Torv's teenage sister. It's so damn freaky.

[ws_scribe]

OMG! I loved this!

I'm sitting in the self-help laundry place (because, apparently, I can't walk and drink coffee at the same time - all over my sweatshirt) and I was trolling LJ for suitable distractions and I find...THIS! This absolutely PERFECT portrayal of Renee. And Jack. Just...I can't even.

And he doesn’t say, I’ve called you seven times. Why the hell didn’t you pick up? or, That wasn’t quite what I meant by ‘Try and make choices you can live with.’

He's just so damn happy she called. And of course, she calls him during the ONE thing he can't really postpone. But he makes her smile and that's what she's been waiting for.

God. Just...you kill me!

And look at that, on Dec 2. You're amazing! Oh, and since I've been SO disconnected from LJ...can I just say that I love your Xmas layout, but I can't wait til you put up the old one. Cuz, that. That is pure Jack/Renee love and devotion.

[leigh57]

Yay that you loved it! I know it's super short, but a lot of these are going to have to be if I plan to keep up. I keep having this inner debate. Like, just screw it and keep messing with them forever, finishing all the fic in September, or to some degree attempt to keep up and realize that it won't all be my best work. I may change my mind anytime. LOL.

I'm so glad this made you happy though, because it's for you and you're all away and deployed over the holidays, so if fic cheers you up, I want to do what I can to provide.

See above comment about the layout. I miss it like a cut-off limb, to be honest. It's like, fannish me, IN A GRAPHIC:)

[ws_scribe]

I keep having this inner debate. Like, just screw it and keep messing with them forever, finishing all the fic in September, or to some degree attempt to keep up and realize that it won't all be my best work.

Agreed. But, if you feel the need to write superbly and want to bestow that on someone...I'm just sayin.

Any and all fic from you, ANYTIME, is a treat. But over here, in the land of dust, dirt, and everything tan...this added a touch of home. THANK YOU!

[ws_scribe]

Also, totally unrelated.

I just started S7. It makes me all squeaky and excited...but you're the only one who gets that. Well, you and adrenalin211.

[marinw]

His voice feels like a fresh-from-the-dryer down comforter after you’ve been standing in a blizzard wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

*Thud*

I am loving these AU's where Renee answers the phone! This means that Day 8 happens differently? Please?

[leigh57]

Thanks! See, I'd have a good answer for you about Day 8 but here is the thing. Ever since they killed Renee in canon, I have legit like 12 different AUs that exist in my head. It's quite hilarious. So probably for most of the Christmas fic I won't even bother to specify when it's set or what's different. I just go for it and hope everybody else is willing to suspend disbelief with me for a few hundred words.

[sardonicynic]

This is -

You know, S, I don't even have adequate words for what this is.

Amazing-gutting-visceral almost says it.

Today, you were so beyond kind to say that some of my stuff is a paragon of economy. (Which, by the way, I am still all a-wibble, I'm not even kidding.) Well, this is that. And yet more. I love each and every word, weighted with impact; every line resonates like a landmine.

As much as I adore every detail you've woven in here, this closes an iron fist around my heart:

She's still stuck in the middle.

Because being caught in that awful fugue, mired in mental and emotional quicksand, is just awful.

Oh, Renee.

And you. Jay-eff-cee.

Lovely and cutting and perfect, through and through.

[adrenalin211]

Do you know that this comment made my day? Because it's exactly how *I* feel except you put good words to it. So THANK you for that.

Isn't this like... so frakking amazing? I have no idea how you guys both seem to be able to make every WORD pack a punch!

[sardonicynic]

Ahahahaha, but I still feel like I didn't say it as well as it could be said! Or something.

Just.

[ Insert windmilling T-Rex arms here as I laugh! ]

But you know something else? I love that this takes such heavy subject matter and doesn't reduce it to histrionics, which it SO EASILY could be.

But it's not, because it's Shana, and she is so deft and honest here with how this shit works - you keep getting up in the morning, and you shower, and you put on mascara, even if you stay in all damn day - and it's a slow grind to sanity. It's not all crying jags and the rending of garments; it's bran flakes and a trip to the pharmacy because you're out of the good tampons.

So, you know. I appreciate that kind of attention to detail more than words can say.

Yep.

ALL THE HEARTS.

[adrenalin211]

I love that this takes such heavy subject matter and doesn't reduce it to histrionics

YES!!! See what I mean about how I can't put it into words! Those are the words! Hahaha.

I know, it's like... raw headspace that doesn't sulk or draw attention to itself. It's just so RENEE, and then there's Jack not at all commenting that she didn't call, but that she did and how it makes him glad and all cutely laughing his disbelief away.

Also, I can't believe you MADE that epic cheesecake.