Well.. there goes my trip to CO
Bummer. Some financial issues arose and more than enough family drama than I can deal with. Things are pretty heavy right now. As for the financial biz, I think I can work it out, now that the trip is cancelled. But, oh, how the river was calling to me... *sigh* I miss it so much. I left my heart in Colorado....
I can get my angst and frustration out on here. No one really looks at this anyway. I am having a hard time adjusting to being someone's rock. During his whole divorce, I was his rock. But, it's different this time. I'm about to break down. I love him so much, but it is not only emotionally draining me, but financially draining me. He is still in college. He doesn't seem to realize that, as a college student, you are going to go through times where you have to eat Ramen and be broke ass shit. I've been there, I know. But, he has a kid, so it's equally as frustrating that he can't provide as needed for his kid, while he is in school. I get that. I can keep paying the electric bill and the gas bill and buying all of the groceries, but how can I keep him from being depressed about it? This is where my old doubt resurfaces... I love him so much. I know he loves me... but, what if, one day he decides that he doesn't (like Corbitt did)? What if he feels trapped, like he can't make it financially, alone, and stays with me for that reason alone? I am not a crazy person. But, sometimes my imagination runs away with me. What if? What if?!!! I would say, I'm being crazy, but it's happened before... I'm just leery of this I guess...
Will I ever just be able to have a carefree trust in guys, like I used to when I was young and dumb?
I can get my angst and frustration out on here. No one really looks at this anyway. I am having a hard time adjusting to being someone's rock. During his whole divorce, I was his rock. But, it's different this time. I'm about to break down. I love him so much, but it is not only emotionally draining me, but financially draining me. He is still in college. He doesn't seem to realize that, as a college student, you are going to go through times where you have to eat Ramen and be broke ass shit. I've been there, I know. But, he has a kid, so it's equally as frustrating that he can't provide as needed for his kid, while he is in school. I get that. I can keep paying the electric bill and the gas bill and buying all of the groceries, but how can I keep him from being depressed about it? This is where my old doubt resurfaces... I love him so much. I know he loves me... but, what if, one day he decides that he doesn't (like Corbitt did)? What if he feels trapped, like he can't make it financially, alone, and stays with me for that reason alone? I am not a crazy person. But, sometimes my imagination runs away with me. What if? What if?!!! I would say, I'm being crazy, but it's happened before... I'm just leery of this I guess...
Will I ever just be able to have a carefree trust in guys, like I used to when I was young and dumb?