Golden Globes Fashion 2016
Remember last year at the Globes, when Emma Stone wore a giant butt ruffle and Melissa McCarthy's dress was legit made out of two other ones, and Claire Danes was super excited that her dress was covered in real feathers and Kiera Knightly wore a doily? Well let's see what happened this year!
All pictures from The Fug Girls, as usual, unless otherwise noted, and these are in no particular order.
Brie Larson:
This is beige, but it's also very sparkly, and she looks great. I don't really know who she is, but she won for Room, so good for her.
Jennifer Lawrence:
I don't love this. It's not horrific, and I really dig the necklace (which might be part of the dress? Maybe?) but something about the way the top sits over the cut-out sides (why does it have cutout sides anyway?) is off-putting. I also dislike her hair.
Her Cateness:
Oh dear. Just FYI, that is all fringe, not shimmery material. She even has a tail:
The Fug Girls said it looks like it's made of My Little Pony hair, and they're not wrong. Cate, you are a queen, your hair is good, your posing is perfect, please wear something nicer to the Oscars. (Is she nominated? Are the nominations out yet? I'm going to assume she will be nominated just for being herself, if nothing else.)
Rooney Mara:
Why do people wear dresses that are more or less the same color as their skin? Even if this wasn't sort of droopy and Tragically Ruffly, I would still dislike it on color choice alone.
Jennifer Lopez:
I don't care what the Fug Girls say, I love this. Love the hair, the capelet, the necklace, the color, everything but the obligatory leg out pose (seriously, what is that? Angie's impact, right here). I am here for you J Lo, call me!
Julianne Moore:
This is just lovely. I like the sparkles, the velvet accents, the color, the cut, and her beautiful face.
Saoirse Ronan:
She looks almost sad here, like maybe this is her costume from a Greek tragedy. That's a shame, because it's a very pretty dress, even though I've seen it before. Basically, does anyone want to go see Brooklyn with me?
Amy Schumer:
This is ok, nothing to write home about. I'm just happy that it fits her, (especially in the boob-ular area) unlike what she wore to the Emmys.
Rami Malek:
Well, don't you just look adorably handsome. I don't watch Mr. Robot, but via cultural osmosis love Rami Malek for his work in it.
Olivia Wilde:
Do you think Jason Sudeikis knows how lucky he is to be engaged to a woman who looks this amazing?
Rachel McAdams:
I'm not objecting to this pattern, as much as how wrinkly it looks. Those lines under her boob and across her thighs: Are those seams or just wrinkles? The world may never know.
Kirsten Dunst:
I don't know how to feel about this. I like the velvet, her hair and makeup are selling the overall dramatic look, and she looks fabulous in the boob area, but the boob area is like, all I can look at. I'm also not crazy about the shoulders, with that bunching, and the one strap by her neck that seems to be the only thing keeping the sides up. That's a bit precarious there, Kirsten.
Jaimie Alexander:
I love her so much, and Blindspot would be 1000% better if she had more lines and Basic White Male Lead had fewer. This is funky, but not so much so that it isn't also gorgeous. Also, even with that big V there, I don't fear that her breasts will make a bid for freedom. Possibly because she told Seacrest that she was securely taped in.
Amy Adams:
This is absolutely flawless. It looked red on my TV, but somehow it's better in orange. I especially love the sequin waterfall on the side.
The Rock (and his daughter, Simone):
Not many men can work a plum-colored velvet jacket, but he can.
Maura Tierney:
This is a perfectly nice dress. I don't like her hair. Not much to say here, but she won, so it felt wrong to leave her out even though I'm not totally sure who she is.
Laverne Cox:
Has Laverne Cox ever not looked fabulous on a red carpet? No. Have I ever seen Orange is the New Black? Also no. I think she has green earrings on, and that is just the perfect finishing touch.
Uzo Aduba:
This is all right, except for the sleeves, which confuse me a little. Also, that ruching across her middle is unnecessary and unflattering. (P.S. I LOVED her in The Wiz, like, a lot. Can she be in more things please? Especially more things where she sings?)
Katy Perry:
This is an all right color, but, as The Fug Girls rightly pointed out, it doesn't really fit her. It could also maybe be a smidge less plain. When she was presenting, I was CONVINCED that her hair was a wig, but apparently it's not. That's not a good thing.
Gina Rodriguez:
Could she be any more adorable? This looks like the princess dress every little girl dreams of wearing one day. I love it on its own, and especially on her. <3
David Oyelowo:
How is this working? Somehow it is. Bonus points for the cool-looking tie.
Viola Davis:
YES PLEASE. A+, would not change a thing.
Maggie Gyllenhaal:
This just looks sad, and I'm not even sure why. The shape of the flowers maybe? Or how the neckline seems to droop? She also doesn't look like she really wants to be there, more like "please finish taking my picture so I can go get a drink."
Queen Latifah:
What an absolutely fabulous color. And she looks like she's on the verge of saying something sassy and hilarious here, which just makes this even more perfect.
Also:
I love a good flowy cape on the carpet, and this is a GOOD flowy cape.
Bryce Dallas Howard
On the one hand, I don't love how the shape of the top makes her shoulders look twice as wide as they are. On the other hand, I like the pattern and the fabric. But what we really need to talk about is what she said on the carpet: "I just picked it up at Neiman's this week. I like having lots of options for a size six, as opposed to maybe one option, so I always go to department stores." That's right, Bryce Dallas Howard, star of Jurassic World, stunning woman, is a size six, and thus can't get a decent dress option from a designer to wear to the Golden Globes. Fuck. That. Noise.
P.S. Bryce, your character is a lot of fun to play in Lego Jurassic World. Just FYI.
Jada Pinkett Smith:
Goodness that's a beautiful color. In fact, everything here is beautiful, except maybe she needed different shoes. This reminds me that I should finish watching the first season of Gotham...
America Ferrera:
I do not care for this, and not just because I don't like that shade of yellow. The top is just not a good look for her, and she looks uncomfortable somehow, like maybe that band around her middle is too tight.
Kate Winslet:
This is basic, but when you're Kate Winslet and you look this good in something basic, that's all right.
Lady Gaga:
1. This picture isn't from TFG, because I didn't like the one they had. 2. Either her hips are padded, her waist is corseted, or both, but either way this look is stunning. 3. I have never seen American Horror Story, and I never will, but I love that she won a Golden Globe for acting. 4. How great is her hair? 5. I will always love you Gaga, keep being awesome.
Jenna Dewan-Tatum:
I just recently learned who she was, from Lip Sync Battle, and I'm a little in love with her now. Also, this dress is perfection.
Apparently people don't like Channing's hair, but I kind of dig it. Also, look at how the sparkles make a flower over her pocket (POCKET!) I love it.
Taraji P. Henson:
This is a little bland, but she looks damn good in it. And she was so excited when she won, she handed out cookies to everyone.
Gerard Butler:
Nothing remarkable here, this is just an excuse to post a picture of Gerard, who will always be the Phantom of my heart.
Regina King:
It's not the worst thing I've ever seen on a red carpet, but it's also not the best. The Fug Girls want it without the cape, and I want it without the cape and also without being so shiny. The shiny on top of that pattern is just too much.
Kate Hudson:
As we were watching the Globes, I said to Andrew, "Do you think that's a necklace, or attached to her dress? I'm afraid it's attached." Alas, I was right:
Why Kate? Was that just to ensure that the top didn't fall down? There are two better ways to accomplish that, and they are called 'straps' and 'a middle section'.
Julia Louis Dreyfus:
I am not a fan of scallop lace, so I wish the bottom of this were different. The top is super pretty though, and she seemed to have a great time at the show.
Alyssa Milano:
Was Alyssa even at the Globes? I think this is from an after party. Anyway, I'm including it because 1. This is a great color and she looks great in it, 2. This is better than anything she's ever worn on PR All Stars, and 3. PR All Stars starts soon and I want you to all be ready for the potential recaps.
Jane Fonda:
Oh very dear. Starch that thing, and you could give Queen Elizabeth I a run for her collar's money. And yet, she somehow kind of pulls it off? I think it's the hair, and the fact that she's Jane Fonda.
Natalie Dormer:
Look Natalie, I love you, but what is that thing on your neck? And did you have someone style your hair, or just throw it up in a ponytail after a good shag and call it a day?
Melissa McCarthy:
Apparently she designed this herself (because if Bryce has trouble getting options for a size six, I can't imagine what poor Melissa has to go through) and I actually really dig it. I bet it's comfy as hell too.
Rachel Bloom:
This is a great shade of green, and I like everything about it except that frill on the top. I don't quite know how I feel about that frill. Thoughts?
Lily James:
Her face is so fierce here, like she's trying to convince us that she's badass enough to wear this artfully slit bodice and doesn't have to dress like Cinderella all the time. I approve of all of this, especially Cinderella, which I loved.
Lily Tomlin:
This seriously needs some accessories in the neck/waist area, but the color is quite nice.
Patricia Arquette:
Why does Patricia hate her boobs so much? What did they ever do to her to be made to suffer so? Also, BOW OMG BOW BOW BOW. Also also, Andrew heard them introduce her boyfriend (pictured here) and asked me if she wasn't married to David Arquette anymore. Bless.
Saffron Burrows:
Could she look any better? So simple, yet so perfect.
Eva Longoria:
I had to pull this from the internet, because TFG's picture was from the side and didn't show the bow detail, which is my favorite part. She is so beautiful and this dress fits her so well, with just a little bit of kookiness to add some sparkle, literally and metaphorically. Also, she appeared on Hollywood Game Night recently, and woman is COMPETITIVE. It was hilarious.
Dame Helen Mirren:
The Fug Girls' comment was that this is perfection, and they're right. Helen Mirren is an amazing treasure and a gift to us all. Nothing can top her, so that's where I'll end this post.
If you want to see even more Golden Globes fashion, especially from the after parties, check out The Fug Girls! They have it all.
All pictures from The Fug Girls, as usual, unless otherwise noted, and these are in no particular order.
Brie Larson:
This is beige, but it's also very sparkly, and she looks great. I don't really know who she is, but she won for Room, so good for her.
Jennifer Lawrence:
I don't love this. It's not horrific, and I really dig the necklace (which might be part of the dress? Maybe?) but something about the way the top sits over the cut-out sides (why does it have cutout sides anyway?) is off-putting. I also dislike her hair.
Her Cateness:
Oh dear. Just FYI, that is all fringe, not shimmery material. She even has a tail:
The Fug Girls said it looks like it's made of My Little Pony hair, and they're not wrong. Cate, you are a queen, your hair is good, your posing is perfect, please wear something nicer to the Oscars. (Is she nominated? Are the nominations out yet? I'm going to assume she will be nominated just for being herself, if nothing else.)
Rooney Mara:
Why do people wear dresses that are more or less the same color as their skin? Even if this wasn't sort of droopy and Tragically Ruffly, I would still dislike it on color choice alone.
Jennifer Lopez:
I don't care what the Fug Girls say, I love this. Love the hair, the capelet, the necklace, the color, everything but the obligatory leg out pose (seriously, what is that? Angie's impact, right here). I am here for you J Lo, call me!
Julianne Moore:
This is just lovely. I like the sparkles, the velvet accents, the color, the cut, and her beautiful face.
Saoirse Ronan:
She looks almost sad here, like maybe this is her costume from a Greek tragedy. That's a shame, because it's a very pretty dress, even though I've seen it before. Basically, does anyone want to go see Brooklyn with me?
Amy Schumer:
This is ok, nothing to write home about. I'm just happy that it fits her, (especially in the boob-ular area) unlike what she wore to the Emmys.
Rami Malek:
Well, don't you just look adorably handsome. I don't watch Mr. Robot, but via cultural osmosis love Rami Malek for his work in it.
Olivia Wilde:
Do you think Jason Sudeikis knows how lucky he is to be engaged to a woman who looks this amazing?
Rachel McAdams:
I'm not objecting to this pattern, as much as how wrinkly it looks. Those lines under her boob and across her thighs: Are those seams or just wrinkles? The world may never know.
Kirsten Dunst:
I don't know how to feel about this. I like the velvet, her hair and makeup are selling the overall dramatic look, and she looks fabulous in the boob area, but the boob area is like, all I can look at. I'm also not crazy about the shoulders, with that bunching, and the one strap by her neck that seems to be the only thing keeping the sides up. That's a bit precarious there, Kirsten.
Jaimie Alexander:
I love her so much, and Blindspot would be 1000% better if she had more lines and Basic White Male Lead had fewer. This is funky, but not so much so that it isn't also gorgeous. Also, even with that big V there, I don't fear that her breasts will make a bid for freedom. Possibly because she told Seacrest that she was securely taped in.
Amy Adams:
This is absolutely flawless. It looked red on my TV, but somehow it's better in orange. I especially love the sequin waterfall on the side.
The Rock (and his daughter, Simone):
Not many men can work a plum-colored velvet jacket, but he can.
Maura Tierney:
This is a perfectly nice dress. I don't like her hair. Not much to say here, but she won, so it felt wrong to leave her out even though I'm not totally sure who she is.
Laverne Cox:
Has Laverne Cox ever not looked fabulous on a red carpet? No. Have I ever seen Orange is the New Black? Also no. I think she has green earrings on, and that is just the perfect finishing touch.
Uzo Aduba:
This is all right, except for the sleeves, which confuse me a little. Also, that ruching across her middle is unnecessary and unflattering. (P.S. I LOVED her in The Wiz, like, a lot. Can she be in more things please? Especially more things where she sings?)
Katy Perry:
This is an all right color, but, as The Fug Girls rightly pointed out, it doesn't really fit her. It could also maybe be a smidge less plain. When she was presenting, I was CONVINCED that her hair was a wig, but apparently it's not. That's not a good thing.
Gina Rodriguez:
Could she be any more adorable? This looks like the princess dress every little girl dreams of wearing one day. I love it on its own, and especially on her. <3
David Oyelowo:
How is this working? Somehow it is. Bonus points for the cool-looking tie.
Viola Davis:
YES PLEASE. A+, would not change a thing.
Maggie Gyllenhaal:
This just looks sad, and I'm not even sure why. The shape of the flowers maybe? Or how the neckline seems to droop? She also doesn't look like she really wants to be there, more like "please finish taking my picture so I can go get a drink."
Queen Latifah:
What an absolutely fabulous color. And she looks like she's on the verge of saying something sassy and hilarious here, which just makes this even more perfect.
Also:
I love a good flowy cape on the carpet, and this is a GOOD flowy cape.
Bryce Dallas Howard
On the one hand, I don't love how the shape of the top makes her shoulders look twice as wide as they are. On the other hand, I like the pattern and the fabric. But what we really need to talk about is what she said on the carpet: "I just picked it up at Neiman's this week. I like having lots of options for a size six, as opposed to maybe one option, so I always go to department stores." That's right, Bryce Dallas Howard, star of Jurassic World, stunning woman, is a size six, and thus can't get a decent dress option from a designer to wear to the Golden Globes. Fuck. That. Noise.
P.S. Bryce, your character is a lot of fun to play in Lego Jurassic World. Just FYI.
Jada Pinkett Smith:
Goodness that's a beautiful color. In fact, everything here is beautiful, except maybe she needed different shoes. This reminds me that I should finish watching the first season of Gotham...
America Ferrera:
I do not care for this, and not just because I don't like that shade of yellow. The top is just not a good look for her, and she looks uncomfortable somehow, like maybe that band around her middle is too tight.
Kate Winslet:
This is basic, but when you're Kate Winslet and you look this good in something basic, that's all right.
Lady Gaga:
1. This picture isn't from TFG, because I didn't like the one they had. 2. Either her hips are padded, her waist is corseted, or both, but either way this look is stunning. 3. I have never seen American Horror Story, and I never will, but I love that she won a Golden Globe for acting. 4. How great is her hair? 5. I will always love you Gaga, keep being awesome.
Jenna Dewan-Tatum:
I just recently learned who she was, from Lip Sync Battle, and I'm a little in love with her now. Also, this dress is perfection.
Apparently people don't like Channing's hair, but I kind of dig it. Also, look at how the sparkles make a flower over her pocket (POCKET!) I love it.
Taraji P. Henson:
This is a little bland, but she looks damn good in it. And she was so excited when she won, she handed out cookies to everyone.
Gerard Butler:
Nothing remarkable here, this is just an excuse to post a picture of Gerard, who will always be the Phantom of my heart.
Regina King:
It's not the worst thing I've ever seen on a red carpet, but it's also not the best. The Fug Girls want it without the cape, and I want it without the cape and also without being so shiny. The shiny on top of that pattern is just too much.
Kate Hudson:
As we were watching the Globes, I said to Andrew, "Do you think that's a necklace, or attached to her dress? I'm afraid it's attached." Alas, I was right:
Why Kate? Was that just to ensure that the top didn't fall down? There are two better ways to accomplish that, and they are called 'straps' and 'a middle section'.
Julia Louis Dreyfus:
I am not a fan of scallop lace, so I wish the bottom of this were different. The top is super pretty though, and she seemed to have a great time at the show.
Alyssa Milano:
Was Alyssa even at the Globes? I think this is from an after party. Anyway, I'm including it because 1. This is a great color and she looks great in it, 2. This is better than anything she's ever worn on PR All Stars, and 3. PR All Stars starts soon and I want you to all be ready for the potential recaps.
Jane Fonda:
Oh very dear. Starch that thing, and you could give Queen Elizabeth I a run for her collar's money. And yet, she somehow kind of pulls it off? I think it's the hair, and the fact that she's Jane Fonda.
Natalie Dormer:
Look Natalie, I love you, but what is that thing on your neck? And did you have someone style your hair, or just throw it up in a ponytail after a good shag and call it a day?
Melissa McCarthy:
Apparently she designed this herself (because if Bryce has trouble getting options for a size six, I can't imagine what poor Melissa has to go through) and I actually really dig it. I bet it's comfy as hell too.
Rachel Bloom:
This is a great shade of green, and I like everything about it except that frill on the top. I don't quite know how I feel about that frill. Thoughts?
Lily James:
Her face is so fierce here, like she's trying to convince us that she's badass enough to wear this artfully slit bodice and doesn't have to dress like Cinderella all the time. I approve of all of this, especially Cinderella, which I loved.
Lily Tomlin:
This seriously needs some accessories in the neck/waist area, but the color is quite nice.
Patricia Arquette:
Why does Patricia hate her boobs so much? What did they ever do to her to be made to suffer so? Also, BOW OMG BOW BOW BOW. Also also, Andrew heard them introduce her boyfriend (pictured here) and asked me if she wasn't married to David Arquette anymore. Bless.
Saffron Burrows:
Could she look any better? So simple, yet so perfect.
Eva Longoria:
I had to pull this from the internet, because TFG's picture was from the side and didn't show the bow detail, which is my favorite part. She is so beautiful and this dress fits her so well, with just a little bit of kookiness to add some sparkle, literally and metaphorically. Also, she appeared on Hollywood Game Night recently, and woman is COMPETITIVE. It was hilarious.
Dame Helen Mirren:
The Fug Girls' comment was that this is perfection, and they're right. Helen Mirren is an amazing treasure and a gift to us all. Nothing can top her, so that's where I'll end this post.
If you want to see even more Golden Globes fashion, especially from the after parties, check out The Fug Girls! They have it all.