(no subject)
I am so over this town, this place, these people. The only thing I feel right now is let down. I knew things would be different coming home from college, but not as bad as it's been. Someone I consider my best friend has hardly given me the time of day, or at least it seems that way.
Last night is when basically the realities of my situation here in KoP (not my home, SU is home) hit me. I came home from babysitting after 10 sometime last night. There were a ton of people here: kriston, dion, ben, katie k., carolyn, etc...I don't know why they came over without telling me, but initially it was a nice surprise, until after 5 minutes, they decide to go to chili's, which I wasn't up for. I had just gone to chili's the day before, and was tired of spending money on food, when I need to be saving as much as possible. They all left. I was looking forward to just chilling out with everyone. Allison was still here, but she was hanging out with my sister, and they got up and did their own thing without me. So another night was spent watching a movie with my mom. I love my mom, and I enjoy spending time with her, but sometimes I just want to be with friends, talk, and catch up without actually having to go out somewhere. I used to be so close with Allison, but now she and my sister are practically best friends...I don't know really when or how it happened...but it did. Katie...I've tried to hang out with her, but the past few times she's been busy (no doubt with her boy, but I'm only here another week...). Basically, I've been the one trying to reach out to people in these past few weeks, trying to see people before I go to camp. But I've noticed that hardly anyone has made the effort to see me, with the exception of Jason, and I've been grateful for him.
But ultimately, I'm tired of putting up a front, and I'm tired of trying to figure people out, and I'm tired of being pushed aside. Thank God (literally) for camp next week. I've always said it's the one place where I'm completely accepted by people. This summer is going to be so worth it. I'm so glad to have Lindsay with me there, because she's the one single person I can count on from home.
After camp, I'll only have to deal with one more week of this place before I'm back at Susquehanna with my true loves of my life. Hopefully my plans to visit Sarah this week won't fall through. We've been planning on going to Baltimore, walking around inner-harbor, shopping, and of course: going to the aquarium!!! I can't wait. I miss that girl like whoa. And Jackie too...if only she didn't live in Connecticut.
So this entire entry is totally pathetic sounding, but I don't really care. I've been holding this in for so long now, and if I'm overreacting, you'll get over it. Because I'm already over it, all I need is camp....
"Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
La la la la la
All we need's a harmony and we'll convince the world to sing
La la la la la
Throw your arms around someone
Maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I'm a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug
All we need is love and beer
And old school metal and holiday cheer
To be happy
All you need is someone near
Like Ben and Jerry
To hold you close and pretend that they care"
~bowling for soup~
Last night is when basically the realities of my situation here in KoP (not my home, SU is home) hit me. I came home from babysitting after 10 sometime last night. There were a ton of people here: kriston, dion, ben, katie k., carolyn, etc...I don't know why they came over without telling me, but initially it was a nice surprise, until after 5 minutes, they decide to go to chili's, which I wasn't up for. I had just gone to chili's the day before, and was tired of spending money on food, when I need to be saving as much as possible. They all left. I was looking forward to just chilling out with everyone. Allison was still here, but she was hanging out with my sister, and they got up and did their own thing without me. So another night was spent watching a movie with my mom. I love my mom, and I enjoy spending time with her, but sometimes I just want to be with friends, talk, and catch up without actually having to go out somewhere. I used to be so close with Allison, but now she and my sister are practically best friends...I don't know really when or how it happened...but it did. Katie...I've tried to hang out with her, but the past few times she's been busy (no doubt with her boy, but I'm only here another week...). Basically, I've been the one trying to reach out to people in these past few weeks, trying to see people before I go to camp. But I've noticed that hardly anyone has made the effort to see me, with the exception of Jason, and I've been grateful for him.
But ultimately, I'm tired of putting up a front, and I'm tired of trying to figure people out, and I'm tired of being pushed aside. Thank God (literally) for camp next week. I've always said it's the one place where I'm completely accepted by people. This summer is going to be so worth it. I'm so glad to have Lindsay with me there, because she's the one single person I can count on from home.
After camp, I'll only have to deal with one more week of this place before I'm back at Susquehanna with my true loves of my life. Hopefully my plans to visit Sarah this week won't fall through. We've been planning on going to Baltimore, walking around inner-harbor, shopping, and of course: going to the aquarium!!! I can't wait. I miss that girl like whoa. And Jackie too...if only she didn't live in Connecticut.
So this entire entry is totally pathetic sounding, but I don't really care. I've been holding this in for so long now, and if I'm overreacting, you'll get over it. Because I'm already over it, all I need is camp....
"Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
La la la la la
All we need's a harmony and we'll convince the world to sing
La la la la la
Throw your arms around someone
Maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I'm a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug
All we need is love and beer
And old school metal and holiday cheer
To be happy
All you need is someone near
Like Ben and Jerry
To hold you close and pretend that they care"
~bowling for soup~