(no subject)
I went to pick up music from Jin's house last night and somehow we ended up talking for 3 hours straight. It was exactly what I needed. His mom was ironically so freaking nice to me too....offering me stuff to drink, bringing a fan into the room, telling me that I look beautiful and am doing great stuff with my life. Jeez a couple years ago she would've been like "get out of my house, bitch!" (in chinese of course). It was nice not only to catch up and help each other out, but to be capable of looking back on the most rollercoaster relationship I've had or hope to have, and be able to smile and laugh and go "remember when...?" I'm kind of reveling in this clear-headedness, I hope it lasts for a while.
Most people know by now it's a huge pattern in my life to have an absolute best friend in the world, or a boyfriend that I spend all my time with. I've never really been without one or the other. But now I totally am, and I'm still not quite sure how to live with that. I'm getting better though. I may not be the single most important person to anyone, but being somewhere on the top 3-5 in many peoples' lives is cool in its own way.
Shira had her confirmation last night, it made me feel old, haha. They sang Debbie Friedman's version of "Lech L'cha", a song I've always loved, but based on the number of times I've heard it lately it's starting to feel really overused. So I was thinking about this and all of a sudden my grandma put her arm around me and held me to her...it was really unexpected. She held me like I was 5 years old again, and then at the end she said "sorry, I had a few tears in my eyes and I needed someone to hold on to", and, I dunno I said something lame like "aw don't worry about it!" cuz I'm really awkward in situations like that when something surprises me. It did mean a lot to me though. I told my grandparents about Interlochen, and my grandpa said "your grandmother and I met being overnight camp counselors when we were your age!" I totally forgot about that story. I said I'd let them know if anything similar happened to me, haha.
Most people know by now it's a huge pattern in my life to have an absolute best friend in the world, or a boyfriend that I spend all my time with. I've never really been without one or the other. But now I totally am, and I'm still not quite sure how to live with that. I'm getting better though. I may not be the single most important person to anyone, but being somewhere on the top 3-5 in many peoples' lives is cool in its own way.
Shira had her confirmation last night, it made me feel old, haha. They sang Debbie Friedman's version of "Lech L'cha", a song I've always loved, but based on the number of times I've heard it lately it's starting to feel really overused. So I was thinking about this and all of a sudden my grandma put her arm around me and held me to her...it was really unexpected. She held me like I was 5 years old again, and then at the end she said "sorry, I had a few tears in my eyes and I needed someone to hold on to", and, I dunno I said something lame like "aw don't worry about it!" cuz I'm really awkward in situations like that when something surprises me. It did mean a lot to me though. I told my grandparents about Interlochen, and my grandpa said "your grandmother and I met being overnight camp counselors when we were your age!" I totally forgot about that story. I said I'd let them know if anything similar happened to me, haha.