drunken words
Sometimes I just get fed up with everything. I get annoyed easily and treat people a bit harsher than I normally would. And I find this occurring with more frequency. I don't go out and drink as much as I used to and I think that might have something to do with it. In my sobriety I have pondered "do I really like my friends?" They tend to get on my nerves so much more than before. Then I start to wonder if something's wrong with me? Cause obviously they are the same people, maybe I'm the one who's changed and that makes me feel really bad. I love them and it makes me feel bad to not want to hang out with anyone. I've become so anti-social. I don't know what my priorities are anymore.
I used to live for the party, but I truly feel as though I have matured. I'm conflicted because I am the only one of all of my friends who has a college degree and a professional job and it sucks. Because I feel as though it's making me grow distant from them. Before what we had in common was the partying. We'd talk about the funny shit we did on the weekend or we'd just go out drinking in the middle of the week and not give a fuck. Now I feel as though we don't really have much to talk about except the past. I no longer yearn for the crazy drunken drugged up adventures as much as they do.
And then I try to go out with my co-workers cause in a certain sense I have more in common with them, but they're too conservative for me. I feel as though I have to tone down who I truly am when I'm around them. They're good to have around to talk about work and how we're dealing with it but not much else. It makes me feel so alone. Neither group truly understands me.
I need to find my niche before I go crazy. All I want is someone who I can relate to. I hate feeling like the odd one out, especially when I was so used to always being the life of the party.
I used to live for the party, but I truly feel as though I have matured. I'm conflicted because I am the only one of all of my friends who has a college degree and a professional job and it sucks. Because I feel as though it's making me grow distant from them. Before what we had in common was the partying. We'd talk about the funny shit we did on the weekend or we'd just go out drinking in the middle of the week and not give a fuck. Now I feel as though we don't really have much to talk about except the past. I no longer yearn for the crazy drunken drugged up adventures as much as they do.
And then I try to go out with my co-workers cause in a certain sense I have more in common with them, but they're too conservative for me. I feel as though I have to tone down who I truly am when I'm around them. They're good to have around to talk about work and how we're dealing with it but not much else. It makes me feel so alone. Neither group truly understands me.
I need to find my niche before I go crazy. All I want is someone who I can relate to. I hate feeling like the odd one out, especially when I was so used to always being the life of the party.