I found this to be entertaining..
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research the results are in:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent........................................12 Calories
Without her consent.....................................2187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.........................................8 Calories
With one hand...........................................12 Calories
With your teeth.........................................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection........................................6 Calories
Without an erection.....................................3315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.............................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot...............................4092 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary..............................................12 Calories
69 lying down...........................................78 Calories
69 standing up..........................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow.............................................216 Calories
Doggy Style.............................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier......................................2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real....................................................112 Calories
Fake....................................................1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging....................................18 Calories
Getting up immediately..................................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years.............................................36 Calories
30-39 years.............................................80 Calories
40-49 years.............................................124 Calories
50-59 years.............................................1972 Calories
60-69 years.............................................7916 Calories
70 and over.............................................Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly..................................................32 Calories
In a hurry..............................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door....................5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.....................13,521 Calories
HOW MANY HAVE YOU BURNED?
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent........................................12 Calories
Without her consent.....................................2187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.........................................8 Calories
With one hand...........................................12 Calories
With your teeth.........................................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection........................................6 Calories
Without an erection.....................................3315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.............................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot...............................4092 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary..............................................12 Calories
69 lying down...........................................78 Calories
69 standing up..........................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow.............................................216 Calories
Doggy Style.............................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier......................................2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real....................................................112 Calories
Fake....................................................1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging....................................18 Calories
Getting up immediately..................................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years.............................................36 Calories
30-39 years.............................................80 Calories
40-49 years.............................................124 Calories
50-59 years.............................................1972 Calories
60-69 years.............................................7916 Calories
70 and over.............................................Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly..................................................32 Calories
In a hurry..............................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door....................5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.....................13,521 Calories
HOW MANY HAVE YOU BURNED?